Can someone please explain how you celebrate this crazy holiday? Preferably in song?
[singing] It's the violentest season of the year.
Old Kringle-bot has come to spread some mugs of Xmas fear.
Sugar-plummy visions will be dancing in your head
When I cane you from the comfort of my sled.
On Xmas Eve, we don our gay apparel,
Kevlar vests, asbestos stockings and a barrel.
Prof. Farnsworth': And if Grandma's Xmas fruitcake finally reaches critical mass,
It can be re-gifted straight to Santa's ass.
But the ornamental armaments are merely superficial,
The tinsel and the trappings are just icing on the missile.
The one thing that you need to make your Xmas day splendiferous
Is a pine tree; a pine tree that's coniferous.
We have to have a pine tree as coniferous.
[flies away] You're welcome.
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