Philip J. Fry quotes from Futurama

Leela

Don't you ever wonder about the future?

Fry

Well, sure, but you're always in it.

Fry

Also, sometimes Terminators.

Fry

Oh, it's just that I love Leela something awful. Do you think a space dame like her would ever marry a two-bit low-life delivery boy like me? And also, I have bad posture, some severe financial problems?

Bender

Have you tried gettin' her pregnant?

Fry

Gosh, yes! I've tried and tried! But, so far, I only got Amy pregnant.

Fry

A guy like me can't afford a diamond ring for a gal like her.

Bender

That's for sure, not on the measly salary I steal from you every week. [takes Fry's wallet]

Prof. Farnsworth

Oh my, there's a frog on a bump on this log that I found in a hole at the bottom of the sea.

Leela

And that's the ultimate secret of the universe?

Prof. Farnsworth

Apparently so. Wait! There's a snail on the tail of the frog on the bump on this log that I found in a hole on the bottom of the sea. The snail itself is composed of cells, molecules, atoms...

Fry

Pfff! Those things don't rhyme!

Prof. Farnsworth

Things only rhyme below ten to the minus five angstroms, you dope!

Farnsworth

All attempts to communicate with the aliens have failed. I fear our only option is thrilling space battle.

Power Friends Go!

Prof. Farnsworth

Of course! Having no mouths or ears they can only communicate through motions!

Fry

Or perhaps by odors.

Bender

That is how you communicate.

Hahahahahahaha!

[communicating with the aliens via dance] Hey aliens, we will kill you! And dishonor your widows by making them gather wood!

Fry

I hope you're not too mad at me, Leela. For tearing your arm off and all.

Leela

I can't be mad, I'm on way too many painkillers. Plus, you were willing to sacrifice yourself so I could live. I mean you failed miserably, but you're only person who loves me enough to try.

Fry

My lucky pants!

Hermes

They don't look so lucky to me.

Fry

They are too lucky! I was wearing them when I found a dime in my ear, when I got a free subscription to Redbook, and when I first met Leela.

Leela

Aw! Also, oh, Lord.

Fry

Also, they're my only pants.

Bender

You wore the same pants for a thousand years? No wonder they made a run for it.

Leela

This is crazy! You're from the future?

Yes. I was sent back from the year 3028 to prevent Nixon from getting elected.

Fry

I was sent forward from the year 2000, but you don't hear me gassing on about it.

Leela

Keep your door unlocked tonight.

Fry

But McGruff the Crime Dog says... Oh!

Leela

Zoidberg this makes no sense. Why are you helping him?

Bender

And what's with that catchy beat?

Zoidberg

I'll tell you, 2, 3, 4.

If I sliced up his Cyborg skull

He wants a brain

Zoidberg

He wants a robot brain

Another brain

Zoidberg

Let see if he fells pain

A brand new brain

Zoidberg

It might drive him insane

He wants a brain.

Zoidberg

He wants a robot brain

wa uuuuuuuuuu wa wa uuuuuuuuu wa wa uuuuuuuuuu wa wa uuuuuuuu...

Amy

Does anybody else find it freaky that Zoidberg is singing harmony with himself?

Fry

Oh, loosen up, Amy!

Farnsworth

My condolences, LaBarbara. I hope you find some comfort in staring at this throbbing mass of nerve tissue.

Prof. Farnsworth

For once, I thought it might be nice to do something in a social setting! Finally get to know each other. Why, I don't even know half your names! [Points to Fry.] You, boy! What do they call you?

Fry

Most folks just call me 'Orange Joe'.

Bender

I gotta mope things over for a while.

Fry

What's happening?

Leela

I don't know. I think he's shuffling off sadly in the distance.

Fry

Oh lord.

Leela

Fry, you're so confident and take charge on this trip! It's kind of a turn-on.

Fry

Not now, Leela, I'm trying to meet old people!