Joey Tribbiani quotes from Friends

Ross

So, what do you think?

Joey

I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!

Joey

Dude, I don't think you should be wearing that.

Ross

Oh, I see. Somebody's afraid of a little competition with the ladies?

Joey

It looks like someone is the ladies!

Phoebe

So Joey's out with my friend the other night and she reaches over and takes some of his fries...

Rachel

Oh, no.

Phoebe

You know about the plate thing?

Rachel

Oh, yeah. Joey doesn't share food. I mean just, just lask week we were having breakfast and he had a couple grapes on his plate.

Phoebe

[to Joey] You wouldn't let her have a grape?

Rachel

Oh, no, not me. Emma.

Joey

JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.

Monica

Mmmm...this cake is amazing!

Rachel

[repulsed] Get a room!

Monica

I would get a room with this cake. I could show this cake a good time!

Phoebe

If you had to, what would you give up? Food or sex?

Monica

[quickly] Sex.

Chandler

[unimpressed] Seriously, answer faster!

Monica

I'm sorry! When she said sex I wasn't thinking about sex with you!

Chandler

[still feeling hurt] It's like a giant hug!

Phoebe

Ross, how about you? Which would you give up? Sex or food?

Ross

[quickly] Food!

Phoebe

How about sex or dinosaurs?

Ross

[in a state of uncertainty] My...! It's like Sophie's Choice!

Rachel

What about you Joe? What would you give up? Sex or food?

Joey

[after thinking] I don't know, it's too hard!

Rachel

No, you have to pick one!

Joey

[quickly] Food! No, sex! Food! Sex! Food! Sex...I don't know, I want both! I want girls on bread!

Ross

We think Chandler might be having an affair.

Monica

What?

Rachel

Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street, and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.

Phoebe

They went in together. I'm so sorry.

Monica

Oh, my... oh, my, that's awful... What did you think of the house?

Phoebe

What?

Joey

Monica, you understand what we're saying, right?

Monica

Yeah... sure... I'm... devastated, obviously!... Did you think the neighborhood was homey?

Chandler

Hey!

Joey

You son of a bitch.

Chandler

Is it me, or have the greetings really gone downhill around here?

You put this in your coffee.

Joey

A spoon! Your hands! Your face!

It's white.

Joey

Paper! Snow! A ghost!

It's heavier than milk.

Joey

A rock! A dog! The earth!

Pass!

Joey

Let's play one more time, okay? And remember if I win, you do not move to Paris.

Rachel

Okay, can't believe I'm risking this again, but you are on! Alright Joey you remember the rules, heads I win tails you lose!

Joey

Just flip!

Rachel

Ah! Tails!

Joey

Damn it!

Joey

What kinds are they?

Monica

This is a boy and that's a girl.

Chandler

Yeah, her name's Erica.

Joey

Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica.

Chandler

Yeah, it's a shame you two never spent more time together.

Joey

Know any bird calls?

Chandler

Oh tons, I'm quite the woodsman.