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Frasier quotes

546 quotes · page 29 of 37

S9 E8The Two Hundredth

[Frasier is obsessing over the absence of one tape from his collection.]

That's it. I'm quirky. I'm delightfully quirky.

Do you realize that your delightful quirk has brought your life to a standstill?

Niles, I've just finished my two thousandth show. I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally. I believe that I am entitled to an entire weekend of doing nothing, don't you?

Do you know you have your pyjamas on backwards?

Another delightful quirk of mine.

Not from where I'm sitting.

[When Frasier gets a lead on a missing tape.]

I'll put on some pants.

Zipper goes in front.

[Daphne is moping about losing Frasier's tape, so Martin shows her how he's covered up breaking a lot of Frasier's "treasures."]

See that fertility god over there? It used to be a lot more fertile, if you know what I mean.

S9 E9Sharing Kirby

S9 E10Junior Agent

S9 E11Bully for Martin

[about Martin] You're a grown man. You're still scared of him.

Well, you're a grown man. You're still scared of him, too.

Yeah, well, at least I have a girlfriend.

Shut up.

S9 E12Mother Load (1)

[Frasier has successfully argued a motion forcing Cam Winston to park his Hummer in the sub-basement, citing pollution concerns.]

CWCam Winston

Listen, Crane, you may have bamboozled the condo board, but we both know you just want more room to swing your fat ass into that BMW!

CCam

You do your share of polluting with that substitute for masculinity you're driving.

If mine's a substitute for masculinity, then what is yours?

CCam

Bigger!

This land is rich with snow- covered mountains, sun-kissed beaches, wild untamed rivers and a, a warm loving people ready to embrace you. Immerse yourself in the spectacle and the grandeur that are these United States, this America! (a large American flag drapes over his window)

How did you do that?

[enraged] Cam Winston!

S9 E13Mother Load (2)

[Frasier refuses to let Simon bring a woman into his apartment]

SSimon

[to Frasier] Well, you're just a big contraceptive, aren't you?

[Frasier has been kept awake for several nights because of Cam Winston draping a giant American flag over his window]

Still awake, Doctor Crane?

Yes. It's almost dawn's early light... and our flag is still there.

S9 E15The Proposal

[Frasier has just found out his mother was pregnant with him at her wedding.]

You knew?

Well, do you remember that time I had the chickenpox? Mom told me to cheer me up.

Excuse me, Mr. Puck?

WPWolfgang Puck

[annoyed] Yes, Dr. Crane?

It's just that, I couldn't help noticing that the crab cakes are getting a bit... brown.

WPWolfgang Puck

They're getting "beautifully crunchy."

I see. Because when I said, "brown," I actually meant more like "black," like "burned."

WPWolfgang Puck

They're Cajun!

Daphne Moon, will you, and your beautiful toes and your exquisite ankles and your precious knees, elbows and arms and fingers, shoulders... [holds up the ring] Will you marry me?

Oh, Niles! Of course, I will.

S9 E16Wheels of Fortune

Frasier refuses to be taken in by Blaine's apparent disability

Dr. Crane, the man is in a wheelchair.

Which means that somewhere, someone is missing a wheelchair!

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