Frasier has just introduced Kirby to Roz
She has gotta be pretty distracting around the office, huh?
Well, yes, sometimes, but she's union, so you put up with it.
TV show quotes
Frasier has just introduced Kirby to Roz
She has gotta be pretty distracting around the office, huh?
Well, yes, sometimes, but she's union, so you put up with it.
Frasier thinks of a way to persuade Roz to help him out
So, how you gonna get her to go with me?
Oh, you just leave that up to me and Mr. Bruce Springsteen.
The Boss!
No, Bruce Springsteen.
I'd hardly call this a dog park. (looks around) It's more like a dog...orgy. Whose beagles are those?
Don't stare. It only encourages them.
Niles, I'm sorry. It turns out Claire and I are going to Belize after all. You and Daphne will have to go some place else.
Wait. Daphne has her heart set to Belize.
Niles, this is not Cranes Go Caribbean! I want to be alone with Claire.
Frasier has had a car accident because of Lana and will miss his flight
At least whoever gets my seat on the plane will be happy.
Frasier is waiting to retrieve some lost luggage. Bob Gardner walks in. This is the first time they meet
Have you been waiting here long?
Time is irrelevant here in the Seventh Circle of Hell.
Kirby's ex-girlfriend has just arrived unexpectedly at his graduation party, and is furious when she meets his “other lady”
I was never his lady.
Damn, baby, that’s cold!
She’s old enough to be your mother, practically.
Damn, baby, now that’s cold!
Frasier is consoling Lana after Bob leaves
You are a really good f...
Don’t. Don’t use the F word.
(laughs) I wasn’t about to! I was gonna say we’re friends!
She tried to kill me once.
Oh, not this paranoia again!
You had a gun.
The cricket in the apartment is driving Frasier insane
Dear God, can't You make him shut up?!
That prayer doesn't get answered around here.
[Daphne knocks at the door of Niles's office]
Well, this is an unexpected treat.
Niles, I have something to tell you.
Is it that I am the sexiest man you've ever known?
No. I-I mean, yes, you are. That's not why I'm here.
Frasier quotes an injurious limerick about himself to Niles
"There once was a man, Frasier Crane / Who says he can feel your pain, / But he acts like a snob / To the guys at his job / And I think he's totally lame."
That's terrible! There's a tense shift, an approximate rhyme, the scansion leaves a lot to be desired…
Niles, you're missing the point!
Daphne has told Niles that as a child she could not pronounce her own name, so her family called her "Dappy"
Oh, Dad! You'll never guess what silly nickname Daphne was called as a child!
Is it worse than Piles?
Frasier and Niles are discussing their father, while the chair catches fire unnoticed
You know, I've been thinking of sending him someplace.
Like to a resort?
Like to live with you.
Oh, yes. The last resort.
It's time for another blooper.
Ah, yes. We're up to number four, as voted by you, the listeners. Here's what happened when a certain Producer didn't realize her microphone was on during the show...
[on tape] Now what the [beep] is this? You call this a [beep] paycheck? How the [beep] am I supposed to live on this [beep]? I'm gonna have a little word with that [beep]-damn Station Manager, walking around here like he owns the mother-[beep]-ing place!
[who's entered] Can't believe that wasn't voted number one.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.