BBlaine
I've started a ministry to save souls the way the Lord saved mine.
What genius(!) The Lord! A credible partner who doesn't take a cut.
S9 E16Wheels of Fortune
BBlaine
Talk about a butt load of poetic justice.
Yes, I believe that is the basic unit of poetic justice.
S9 E17Three Blind Dates
Niles is trying to orchestrate a chance meeting between Frasier and Lisa in the bookshop, by sending his brother on errands
Good Heavens, Niles, what am I? Your lackey?
No, no, no. I'm just engrossed in this "Heroes of Nas-Car."
After an argument with a shop assistant, Frasier leaves indignantly, dragged by Niles
You know, by the way: you have an alphabetical misfile, but I'm not telling you where!
S9 E18War of the Words
JJohn
Well, cameras never lie and cheaters never prosper.
And you never shut up!
Niles encourages Frederick to leave with his dignity intact, but then John Clayton scornfully says he will probably end up in a state school
How DARE you! [to Frederick] Can you take him?
Yeah!
Then spell his ass off!
S9 E19Deathtrap
[Frasier and Niles find a skull]
Maybe it's a builder that got trapped, or an exterminator that was overcome with fumes.
Probable solutions, Niles. However, neither is possible.
Why not?
Because when you die, your head does not pop off like a champagne cork!
I think this rock may be the murder weapon.
Why that rock instead of all the other rocks down there?
It's pointier.
S9 E20The Love You Fake
[The leak in Frasier's ceiling is traced to Cam Winston's laundry room in the unit above.]
Have you ever heard of anything more... fury-inspiring!
I certainly have not. Imagine the cheek of the man, installing an illegal washer-dryer!
JJoe
Oh, they're not illegal, a lot of the units have them. You guys have a hookup in that hall closet where you keep all those hats...
[Daphne, in the middle of folding the latest load she's brought up from the basement laundry room, glares at Frasier.]
First of all, I had completely forgotten about the hookup. Second of all, I believe the homburg is poised for a comeback!
[Daphne is angling for Frasier to buy a washer-dryer. Frasier has discovered an odd sock.]
I will not be strong-armed by threats against my laundry!
[unperturbed] Suit yourself. I'm off to do a load of your pinks. [exits]
I don't have any pinks.
[from the kitchen] You will.
S9 E21Cheerful Goodbyes
Carla snaps in the middle of her valediction speech to Cliff
CCarla
(getting angrier and angrier as she talks) It sticks in my mouth like your rotten deviled eggs. I hate your guts! I hate the way you talk and talk and talk about nothing, the way you walk, your stupid white socks...
Carla...
CCarla
Knock off! I'm toasting! [to Cliff] The twenty years I have known you would have been less painful if I was covered with open sores and thrown into a pit with a bunch of diseased rats. But now, finally you're leaving, I know I'm not as young as I used to be but I can live again, I can live again! Finally I can live, I can live!! [Noticing that everybody is shocked] Anyway...God bless.
CCliff
What's goin' down, Norm?
NNorm
My blood alcohol level. [to his beer] Suds, do your work.
S9 E23The Guilt Trippers
[Frasier and Roz have slept together]
Do you know what she's going to see when she looks at me now?
Your naked body?
Oh, dear God! I was gonna say, "Somebody who's betrayed her trust," but...oh, dear God!
S9 E24Moons Over Seattle
Niles offers to pay for Daphne's father to fly back with him to Seattle
I can't have you buying me a first-class ticket to America!
[pauses] I insist!
Harry is on the point of leaving to return home. Niles begs him to stay a little longer to spend time with Daphne
I'll put you up in a hotel.
I can't let you buy me a suite in a five-star hotel!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.