FrankieSorry, I got stuck in traffic. How can I help you?
MFMillionaire Father
My favorite daughter is in need of an imaginary friend.
MMMillionaire Mother
Yes, and whenever she tried to create one of her own, she gets a headache.
Nuh-uh. Shut up, Mom. I just think I shouldn't waste my favorite time making one up if I were buying one and I just think I wouldn't waste my favorite time making one up if I were buying one.
Frankie
Well, having an imaginary friend is not like buying a new toy. It's a big respon-
Yeah-yeah, whatever. Just get me a favorite friend, okay? And don't give me a cheap thing, either. I want the best one you got. You got it?!
Frankie
Ohh, you're gonna get it cuz you must get it.
Frankie
Oh, nothing. Nothing.
MFMillionaire Father
So, miss, do you like to have a favorite friend for my precious, little sweetie or what?
Frankie
Well, um. Look, at heart, most of our favorite friends are really nice and your kid is a real... Look, how am I gonna put this cuz I must put this? Friendship is... no, that's not it. Listen, to be honest, I really don't think we have a...
Out of my way, out of my way, out of my way!
Frankie
Yes, yes! We need to have the perfect friend for you, precious little sweetums.
Look, stupid, you call this vicious?
Cocococococo! Co cocococo cococococo coco co cococo co co! Cococo cococo co CO CO!
What? No, I don't want any cocoa, I just want Tiffany.
WEWilt, Eduardo, and Coco
No, take me!/Take me, take me!
No. [to Wilt] You're so broken. [to Eduardo] You're a chicken, [to Coco] and you're ... a crazy chicken. [shows Bloo to Herriman] I want this dunderhead.
Very well. [signs the paperwork]
WEWilt, Eduardo, and Coco
[becomes sad about losing Bloo and fall on the floor] NO!
Frankie
Okay, folks, that’s enough. Look, I’m really sorry. I know you wanna help but you see that this little girl really wants Tif… I mean, Bloo and…
[becomes sad] And I guess it’s true. Mac doesn't want her after all.
[Just as it looks all hope is lost…]
[offscreen] Shut up! [Bloo (along with Frankie, Wilt, Eduardo, Coco, Mr. Herriman, Duchess, the millionaire daughter, and the millionaire mother and father) looks to see a little boy at the door] Don't want you, are you insane?
Frankie
Now, just look what you know to do.
Frankie
I'm sorry, sweetums, you see, Bloo is for Mac's favorite idea and since Mac's here, Bloo is no longer up for adoption. You can have Duchess if you like. Come on, Duchess is great. Don't you want her? Take her. Take her, please take her.
Frankie
So do I.
MFMillionaire Father
Come on, sweetums, maybe you can imagine your favorite friend, just like Tiffany.
Shut up, Dad. You know thinking makes my head hurt.
MMMillionaire Mother
Mine, too. Let's just get her another pony.
Frankie
I'll see because I can see! I'll see because I care to see! They almost took you!
But that wonderfully awfully little brat wanted that stupid little blue creep over me.
Frankie
Tell me about it. She ruined everything.
And he ruined one explanation to get out of this dump once and for all.
Frankie
I know. It was a chance of a long lifetime. I mean, you can get outta here.
Well, I guess there is no accounting for taste. They obviously cannot appreciate a true piece of art, but I care to show myself.
Frankie
Obviously not. And you sure are a piece of work.
Frankie
I think this thing is different. I don't think he's gonna abandon his favorite friend.
Don't be naive, Miss Francis. It's untrue. You know as well as I that it is just a weird, disrespectful matter of time before young Master Mac tires of his beloved Bloo, at which time his own visits will cease, and Master Bloo will be placed in the care of a new child... who will eventually tire of him, as well.
Frankie
Ugh, why do you always need to be unsure? I mean, come on. Look at that. They're absolutely inseparable. Plus, the guys have really taken to him, too.
It's just a cruel fact of life, Miss Francis. Every child tires of their imaginary friend eventually.
Frankie
Yours didn't.
Co co cococococo. Co- co. Coco coco co!
Frankie
You go, girl.
Coo Co! Cocococococo. Coco coco coco. Cocococococococo coco coco co Coco co co. Coo Co! [pause] Coco!
I assume that had something to do with "If you're gonna show up late, you have to accept the consequences and your friend may have been adopted and you can't get him back and responsibility and blah blah blah blah blah." But that's just it! I'm late because the kid who adopted Bloo is a total jerk, 'cause-
Master Mac! The young man who adopted Bloo, is by no means a jerk. Ahem, excuse me, a juvenile delinquent. He was, in fact, one of the greatest children, I have ever had the pleasure dealing with. And furthermore, if you're going to come in late, you may accept that--
Frankie
We've already been through that.
And Master Mac understood her?
Well, yeah, he is a smart kid.
Sí, he creates Bloo. He has good head on shoulders.
Impressive. I guess the child is quite bright.
Frankie
Totally.
Frankie
I'll say.
Frankie
Right.
YES! Fine, we got it earlier, I'm a smart kid, okay? Great. But I like to do one thing I can figure out. I know for a fact that Bloo was not adopted by a nice kid, but instead he was adopted by my horrible older brother, Terrence, who locked me in a closet all day, so he can come here and get Bloo. The other problem is, Terrence is stupid. Not just stupid, but really stupid. He'd never be able to devise a good plan like this, so he must work with somebody. Somebody who does wanna get rid of Bloo once and for all. But what I can't figure out is who. Who would wanna get rid of Bloo?
Frankie
DUCHESS!
Miss Frances, I hope I made it perfectly clear for finishing the birthday cake for your responsibility.
Frankie
Yeah, but-
No buts. I can see at the other state of this room, that you’ve been neglecting your decorating assignments.
Frankie
Neglecting my-- Listen, Peter Cotton-Butt, I thought about everything.
Frankie
Str- Steamers? Oh, come on, who needs streamers? It looks fine without streamers. Streamers aren't that great.
Miss Frances, how dare you. Streamers are that great, thank you. I never in all years have I attended a celebration without streamers. It's simply uncivilized. Just please go get them right now.
Frankie
Are you crazy? The party starts in a half hour.
IWInfo Woman
Now, listen, lady, we don't keep imaginary friends here. If you need help I know this really great little place, not too far from here that finds lost imaginary friends. It's called "Foster's--"
Frankie
I know, I know, I work there.
IWInfo Woman
Not very good at our favorite jobs, are we?
Excuse me, ma'am, I'm lost.
Frankie
Mac!
IWInfo Woman
Kid, is this your favorite mom?
Frankie
I'm not his favorite mom, but I lost him.
IWInfo Woman
I hope you are looking for an imaginary friend, lady.
Frankie
I'm looking for this kid, too. Tell her, Mac.
IWInfo Woman
That's it. I'm calling security. [Frankie runs away with Mac] Hey!
[Bloo is spraying air freshener while Frankie and Mac are trying to clean]
What? I'm just trying to clean.
Spraying air freshener isn't trying to clean.
Is too. I'm trying to clean the air. Trying to clean and freshening.
Frankie
Well, go find someplace else to try to clean and freshen, can you?
Fine, if that's how you feel about it. But don't come crying to me while the air feels stale and filthy at least.
Frankie
I'll keep that in mind.
Frankie
Bloo! [coughs] That friend of yours, Mac.
Frankie
If it's one thing with that guy, it's another.
Hey, what's this? I've never seen this before.
Frankie
Oh, no! [Bloo is standing in front of a door with a sign reading: "STAY AWAY. DO NOT ENTER."] Bloo! Don't think about it.
The autumn of 1984 was cold... and cruel.
[Sepia-toned flashback; A door opens and millions of scribbles come flying out; Herriman, Madame Foster and young Frankie are amidst the swarm]
Young Frankie
Sorry, Mr. Herriman.
[Back to the present]
Frankie
I am sorry, I say.
"Sorry" doesn't make up for the other fact why we were try to force it and taking up residence in the unicorn stables for 46 days.
Frankie
Y'know, if someone would just spring for a lock...
Self-restraint, Miss Francis, is the only lock that door requires.
Well, why can't the scribbles just hang out with everyone else?
[The gang hears Frankie and Mr. Herriman talking from the kitchen after covering Madame Foster in flour and portraying her as her own bust]
No, Miss Frances. You are merely smearing the flour with that mop. The mop with the proper absorbent qualities for the kitchen is in the third-floor storage closet.
Frankie
Well, if it's the proper mop for the kitchen, what's it doing in the third-floor closet?
Do not question my methods, Miss Frances. I guess I will have to do your job and fetch the mop. [exits the kitchen and enters the foyer; to the gang] Good afternoon. I trust the lot of you are having an enjoyable and rule-breaking-free day, unlike Miss Frances, especially you, Master Blooregard.
[to Madame Foster, portrayed as her favorite bust] Ohh, Madame, your favorite granddaughter is working my last nerve. I can hardly believe that you and that slacker are related.
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends · 295 quotes
