Thanks for the interview, Madame Foster. And thanks for the cookies.
I'd like to announcilly that I almost died laughing!
JackieYou know I say to that? Ring-a-ding dingly.
No, they didn't, no, they didn't, no, they didn't, no, they didn't, no, they didn't, no, they didn't! [gasps]
Step right up and behold, the amazingest, hilariousest spectacle of a long lifetime!
Bloo, what are you doing?!
What? Oh, nothing, nothing.
You're selling tickets to watch the footage of Mr. Herriman, aren't you?
No, no. What? No, of course not. Frankie erased that, don't you remember? Besides, that was wrong.
Jackie
She's a thief!
That's a load of malarkey, Khones!
JJudge
[banging his gavel] Madame Foster, please refrain from your outbursts.
Oh, yes, certainly. Whatever you say, love.
Jackie
Your excellency, it was my stuff, and she took it.
JJudge
[banging his gavel again] Order! I will have order!
Please, pardon my French, young man, but what he's saying is a bunch of baloney.
Jackie
No, tuna. It's half a tuna sandwich.
That tuna sandwich was mine and you know it, Khones! I made it three weeks ago!
JJudge
[banging his gavel again] Order! One more outburst and I will find you in contempt.
Oopsie. [giggles] Pardon me.
[in tears] I can't believe all those people saw my tushy! Now everyone knows I'm fat! They all know now!
[Bloo and Mac are also being held in the same cell]
I'm a hero, Mac. A hero! History will vindicate me!
[annoyed] You are such a doofus.
[The cell door opens, and Jackie Khones and Coco are let in by the officer who was previously getting sandwiches with them. The officer now has a black eye]
[The officer shuts the cell door on them.]
Jackie
I did give him a sandwich! A knuckle sandwich. I said, "let's get sandwiches," not "I'll buy you a sandwich, you freeloader." [Madame Foster smirks at him] Shut up.
I assure you, I shall tend to your requests once I try to complete trying to mop this- Doh! [many imaginary friends walk by, making the floor dirty again] It's ruined! Oh, very well. I shall simply begin again.
Jackie
No trying to mope till I get my sandwich!
BBBelly Bob Norton
I want clean underwear!
[Mr. Herriman tries to get the mop back, but the imaginary friends kept passing the mop over and over again, until they talk about their problem, as he starts getting really enraged, his monocle cracks]
ENOUGH! I'm sick of taking care of everyone and everything and never getting a word of thanks, an ounce of help, or a tiny LITTLE SMIDGEN OF RESPECT! [all the imaginary friends are completely shocked to hear him say that; calmly] That's Miss Francis' favorite job. [then furious] And I demand to remember that she take it back! Now, where is that lazy girl?! [hops away, as Jackie made a mop into a sandwich and eats it]
Jackie
Mmm. Not bad.
[Jackie Khones enters the foyer, eating his sandwich, revealing that Wilt didn't dare to eat it]
What! You didn't eat it?!
Jackie
Eat what?
Your sandwich. We dared Wilt to eat your sandwich, and he didn't do it!
Jackie
You what?! No, no, no, no. That's not a dare. That's a death wish.
Jackie
You want a dare? I'll give you a dare. I dare one of y'all to steal Madame Foster's gold-plated dentures.
[Bloo enters the foyer, meeting Mac and Frankie reading a load of letters from all the adopted imaginary friends]
[satisfied] Best Adopt-a-Thought Saturday ever, if I do say so myself. Listen to this. [reads some letters] "I couldn't be happier." And this! [reads another] "I love my new family." [and another] "I have found paradise on Earth. Thank you, Foster's."
Here's one from eight-armed Evan. [reading] "I'm writing to seven of my little boy's pen pals while I write this note to you. I have never felt more fulfilled."
Here's one from… Cheese? [reading] "Dear Voice man, please send me the thing you showed me on the TV. Here is my $8.95." [pennies fall out; annoyed] "In pennies."
Here's a postcard from Sam Burger. [reading] "Dear Foster's, things are great. My new friend…"
[voiceover] …Ronald is great! And boy, is he generous. Ronald has paid for both of us to go on a world cruise.
Here's a short note from Bloppy Pants! [reading] "I have never been surrounded by so much love." [touched] Aww, isn't that sweet?
[Bloppy Pants has been adopted by a stereotypical Italian family at his new home while having dinner]
IBItalian Brother
[places his elbow on Bloppy Pants' head] Hey, bro, pass the sauce.
[uncomfortably] Well, I'm not sure that I can reach--
IMItalian Mother
[grabs him by the cheeks] My sweet baby boy! Have another helping of brisket. You want to grow up big and strong like your brothers, don't you?
[blushing] Well, I… [a piece of brisket lands on his plate; whimpers uncomfortably as he sinks]
[Back at Foster's; Mac, Bloo, and Frankie approach a heartbroken Fluffer Nutter sitting on the stairway]
Hey, Fluffer Nutter. What's going on with Jackie?
He's fine! [crumples up the letter] He's very, very happy! [throws the crumpled-up letter at Mac, hitting him in the forehead, and runs off, bawling]
[picks up and unfolds the crumpled letter; reading] "Yo, Foster's. Hope there ain't no hard feelings for dropping y'all a line sooner…"
[Fade to Jackie's new home]
Jackie
[voiceover] …but I didn't want to rub your poor, pitiful noses in my good luck. But what can I say? My new crib has got it going on. It's loaded with tons of pricey toys. Got my new old lady eating out of the palm of my hand. And speaking of eating, how's about a 24-hour all-access pass to the family fridge? Boo-yah! I ain't met the kid that I'm supposed to hang with yet, but Tabby comes home from the hospital later today. I'll have her in my pocket by dinner time.
[Back at Foster's…]
[finishing up reading] "Which reminds me, it's time for my mid-morning sandwich. Peace out, Jackie K."
[Fluffer Nutter wails off-screen]
TMTelegram Man
[as Frankie answers the door] Telegram for Foster from Mr. Soppy Plants.
Oh, do you mean Bloppy Pants?
TMTelegram Man
Look, lady, they pay me to deliver 'em, okay? Reading 'em right, that's your business. Now, are you Foster or what?
[takes the telegram] Yeah, I'm Foster. [closes the door, then looks at the telegram] This is strange.
[reading] "Family life didn't suit me. Have landed in a quiet college town and decided to go back to school."
[Bloppy Pants crashes a trailer truck into the foyer and jumps out]
[shocked] Master Bloppy Pants?! What have you done?!
Only thing I could do! Had to escape the horrors of the outside world! COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! [opens up the back doors of the truck, revealing all the recently adopted imaginary friends] So I went and saved the others and brought us all back to Foster's.
[hugs Jackie as he hops out; happily] Jackie!
Jackie
Who loves you, baby?
[The other imaginary friends hop out of the truck and enter the house]
IFImaginary Friend Crayon
I was actually quite happy in my new home.
EEveryone
[surprised as Sam Burger hops out] Sam Burger?!
[puzzled] But how did you-- how could you-- who am I?
That Bloppy Pants is a miracle worker.
EEveryone
[as Eduardo is the last to hop out of the truck; happily] Eduardo!
[surprised] But, but… we thought you were shot!
Sí. I was shot. [takes out a magazine with him on the cover] With a telephoto lens. The hunters turned out to be reporters looking for Samsquatch, or Bigfoot. Then they got a good look at me, and start calling me "big butt" instead. I no can stay Ezzie anymore. Her papa no like the paparazzi. Be honest, does this photo make my heinie look muy grande?
It's good to have you home, Ed.
Fire! There is a fire! FRANKIE! THERE IS A FI-
[hops onto Ed to stop him] Are you crazy?! Frankie told us we have to be quiet!
Don't worry! I'll put it out! [runs down the hallway, sees a fire extinquisher, and reads the sign above it] "Break in case of an emergency." Well, I guess this is an emergency. I mean, unless something else happens and it's a bigger emergency, and we should break the glass, then...
[impatiantly] Co coco! [she grabs the mallet next to the extinquisher ready to break the glass, but is stopped by Bloo.]
Break glass? Are you crazy?! That's gonna be way too loud!
[panicked] Coco cococo co co co!
Water! Water is muy quiet to put out the fire!
[Bloo and the others turn on the shower to fill up a bucket of water but hear how loud the shower is starting up. The shower is too loud and Eduardo is forced to turn it off.]
The pipes, they have no inside voices!
[Suddenly, a loud beeping is heard. Their smoke detector has gone off.]
[They turn off the smoke detector. Jackie Khones comes in to see the fire]
Jackie
You got a fire in your room.
BWBloo, Wilt, Coco, & Edurado
[silently] WE KNOW!
Jackie
Okay.
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends · 295 quotes
