Duchess[over speaker] Frankie! FRANKIE! GET UP HERE NOW!
Oh, man, one of these days there. [to Mac and Bloo] Sorry, guys, Her Royal Majesty calls. But don't worry, I'll get someone to show you around. Hold on a sec. Wilt? Tour, please! I'm really sorry, guys. Wilt will take care of you. But I'll try to meet up with you at the end of the tour, okay?
Duchess
[over speaker] FRANKIE!
[talking to someone] I'm sorry, is that okay? You sure? Alright. Okay. Sorry anyway. [to Mac and Bloo] Hey, how ya doing? My name's Wilt. Yo, fellas? Hello? Oh, okay, I get it. It's cool, it's cool. I know I'm broken with a very wonky eye and the very stubby arm. Probably freaks you out, huh? But don't sweat it, I'll get someone else to--
MBMac and Bloo
You're tall.
Big, small, young, current, new, old.
Happy, unhappy but sad, good, bad.
Duchess
Well, I never.
And don't forget, silly, nervous, helpful.
Sorry, I got stuck in traffic. How can I help you?
MFMillionaire Father
My favorite daughter is in need of an imaginary friend.
MMMillionaire Mother
Yes, and whenever she tried to create one of her own, she gets a headache.
Nuh-uh. Shut up, Mom. I just think I shouldn't waste my favorite time making one up if I were buying one and I just think I wouldn't waste my favorite time making one up if I were buying one.
Well, having an imaginary friend is not like buying a new toy. It's a big respon-
Yeah-yeah, whatever. Just get me a favorite friend, okay? And don't give me a cheap thing, either. I want the best one you got. You got it?!
Ohh, you're gonna get it cuz you must get it.
MFMillionaire Father
So, miss, do you like to have a favorite friend for my precious, little sweetie or what?
Well, um. Look, at heart, most of our favorite friends are really nice and your kid is a real... Look, how am I gonna put this cuz I must put this? Friendship is... no, that's not it. Listen, to be honest, I really don't think we have a...
Duchess
Out of my way, out of my way, out of my way!
Yes, yes! We need to have the perfect friend for you, precious little sweetums.
I'm sorry, sweetums, you see, Bloo is for Mac's favorite idea and since Mac's here, Bloo is no longer up for adoption. You can have Duchess if you like. Come on, Duchess is great. Don't you want her? Take her. Take her, please take her.
MFMillionaire Father
Come on, sweetums, maybe you can imagine your favorite friend, just like Tiffany.
Shut up, Dad. You know thinking makes my head hurt.
MMMillionaire Mother
Mine, too. Let's just get her another pony.
Duchess
This is unacceptable!
I'll see because I can see! I'll see because I care to see! They almost took you!
Duchess
But that wonderfully awfully little brat wanted that stupid little blue creep over me.
Tell me about it. She ruined everything.
Duchess
And he ruined one explanation to get out of this dump once and for all.
I know. It was a chance of a long lifetime. I mean, you can get outta here.
Duchess
Well, I guess there is no accounting for taste. They obviously cannot appreciate a true piece of art, but I care to show myself.
Obviously not. And you sure are a piece of work.
Duchess
Thank you.
Duchess
That is the problem. This party is unauthorized! And more importantly, it is interfering with my 23 hours of beauty sleep!
You may want to shoot for 24.
Duchess
Ooh, you are going to get in big trouble for this.
Oh, you're just sore 'cause you didn't get invited.
Bloo, I hate to say it, I mean, I really hate to say it, but I think Icky Von Yuck-Yuck might be right.
You're taking sides with Blicky McBarf?
No, I just think Grossie Grossenstein has a point.
Duchess
I am calling Madame Foster this instant. When she hears about this, your days in this house will be numbered.
Fine! Call her! See what I care! [snaps fingers]
See to it Old Ug-Mug doesn't get near a phone.
You're pushing your luck. And Mr. Herriman's gonna be back soon and-
I told you already, it's taken care of.
[through telephone] Hello?
HI, WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER FOR A PARTY?!
WRONG NUMBER! What are you doing?!
Duchess
You sugar-coated idiot! You can't even hold on to a phone! You've ruined everything!
CALL'S OVER NOW GIVE ME CHOCOLATE!
Duchess
There will be no chocolate for you!
Chocolates?! You tried to sell us out for Duchess' stupid chocolate?
Duchess
I'll have you know they're stupid gourmet chocolate.
[groans] Duchess, we go through the same routine every day. We wait on you hand and foot and all you do is insult us.
Duchess
Why, I am deeply hurt that you did suggest one thing. That is simply not true. Now, are you going to call Senior Smells-a-Lot to carry me to the bathroom, or do I need to do it myself?
[Eduardo carries Duchess to the bathroom where Wilt is gargling his mouth with mouthwash, he finishes up by spitting it into a cup]
Duchess
[mouthwashes her mouth and spits it over Eduardo's face; to Wilt] You call this pre-gargled?! It's barely starting to foam! [to Eduardo] Oh, to clarify, I was spitting in anger, not spitting out the mouthwash like normal.
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends · 295 quotes
