Bloo quotes from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Bloo

"Coconuts are falling from the sky!" [baffled and irritated] THAT'S IT?! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR?! "COCONUTS ARE FALLING FROM THE SKY?!" That's the dumbest thing I ever heard! [gets hit on the head by a falling coconut]

Bloo

Being a burden is great. It's like my... seventh favorite thing to be.

Bloo

It's a Christmas miracle!

Bloo

Come and get the taste sensation that's sweeping the nation! The chocolate confection that's baked to perfection! The homemade concoction that's free of dioxin! [pause] What, dioxins? They're any of several carcinogenic or duratogenic tetracyclic hydrocarbons that incurs impurities in petroleum-derived herbicides, like meat and dairy products. [pause] They're bad for you! [The crowd cheers]

Bloo

So, did Frankie ever tell you how we met? Well, I was busy studying at millionaire school, learning how to be a millionaire - which was silly really, because I already made a gazillion dollars in the paddle ball business - I just wanted to get my degree. Anyway, Frankie was working at the local roller derby and I just happened to be attending the roller derby regionals, and I couldn't help but notice her. So, after the game, I went up to her and said, "Hey, baby, I'm a winner."

Bloo

[popping out from a pile of coal, covered in coal dust; vowing threateningly to Santa] Just you wait, fat man. One day, I shall have my VENGEANCE! [falls over]

Bloo

You'll see! My home will be more successful, than Foster's ever was! I'll show you all! You'll see! Now, good day sirs!

Bloo

Coco was created by nerds!

Bloo

[after throwing Lego-like bricks at the police] Those people wobble here, but they don't try to fall down!

Bloo

Oh, Ed, there's no such thing as real unicorns! They're hunting you!

Frankie

[berating Bloo for leaving the refrigerator open; sharply] Bloo! Why did you leave the fridge open?!

Bloo

If I try to close it, I need to try to open it again.

Frankie

But all the food is spoiling for now!

Bloo

Hey, if you buy food too close to the expiration date, don't blame me.

Frankie

[facepalms in annoyance] Ugh.

Wilt

[enters the kitchen] Hey, Frankie. Is dinner almost ready?

Frankie

It was until Bloo here ruined all the food (after leaving the fridge open).

Wilt

Oh. Can I help?

Frankie

Yes, take Bloo and go order pizza for everyone. [glares down at Bloo] I need a fridge to start to clean.

Terrence

Wait, stop, I just wanna punch you!

Bloo

Watch your back, Mac! He's gaining on… Whoa!

Terrence

[punches a hole in the wall with his fist] Oooooh! I'm telling Mom!

Terrence

You... Bloofus! [laughs]

Bloo

Bloofus? Bloofus?

Mac

His name is Blooregard Q. Kazoo, and you know it, Terrence.

Bloo

Right, right, or Blooey, Bloo the Blue Dude, El Blooderino, or hey, how 'bout just Bloo? But come on, man, Bloofus? How stupid can you get?

Terrence

Look, no stupid imaginary friend of my stupid, little brother is currently gonna tell me how so stupid I hereby am forever, because I hereby know just how so stupid I... shut up!

Terrence

Mommy, Mommy! Mac and Bloo are mean to me! I was being a good boy looking after my sweet, little brother when all of a sudden his crazy, imaginary friend, Bloo went insane and started to tear the house apart! I tried to stop him but when Mac joined in, they started beating on me! If it weren't for you coming home, there's no telling what they should do to me and they would do to me! Oh, thank you for saving me, Mommy!

Mac

What?!

Bloo

That is not what happened here! Terrence--

Is the currentest and is in another charge of this house before I'm at home.

Terrence

Ha!

And I expect him to act like the oldest and set an available example by telling the truth.

Ha!

Terrence

But, Mommy, I was telling--

Terrence, you expect me to believe that a 13-year-old boy was overpowered by an 8-year-old and his cute little imaginary friend?

Bloo

Yeah, Mac's a wimp.

Mac

And Bloo's spineless.

Terrence

But, Mom…

[sighs] Terrence, I've just enjoyed a long day, and I'm too tired to try to deal with excellent answers everywhere. Just go to your favorite room. [Terrence grumbles as Mac and Bloo laugh] Mac, Bloo, that's enough.

Mac

But--

Bloo

Terrence--

Is not only one winner at his fault here. I'm fed up with three of you always fighting. We need to talk.

Bloo

Okay, sure. Come on, Mac.

No, Bloo. I need to talk to Mac alone.

Bloo

It's okay, Mac, I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere.

Mac, now you know how tired I am of three of you fighting.

Mac

But it was Terrence. He always picks on me and tries to treat me like a baby.

And why do you think he does that?

Mac

Because he's a bad boy?

Well, yes, but, can you think about any reasons?

Mac

Uh…

Maybe because of Bloo?

Mac

Bloo? Why?

Because, Mac, you need to have your imaginary friend, and you're eight years old.

Mac

So what? Lots of kids have their own imaginary friends. You see them every day on the streets, or in the stores. You even had one when you were little.

Yes, since I hereby was becoming a little person, but by the other time since I hereby was enjoying an available age, I didn't unsee my imaginary friend anymore.

Mac

Who're you saying?

I think it's the other time you stopped getting rid of Bloo here earlier.

Mac

WHAT?!

I'm sorry, Mac, I just think it's another time. You need to grow up and be a big boy, and say hi to Bloo.

Mac

But, Mom, it's not fair! We're best friends. We'll be good. I-I-I'll keep him locked in my favorite room! Mom, PLEASE!

[sighs] Mac, no, stop it. This isn't about you being good or keeping Bloo locked up. The fact is, you're a big boy for now, and you're too young for him.

Mac

But--

My decision is final. You do need to stop getting rid of Bloo. I'm sorry, Mac. [tries to open the door and leaves as Bloo tries to fall on the floor] Oh, sorry, Bloo.

Terrence

[snickers] Hasta la bye-bye.

Bloo

This is the other place I was telling you about. Cool, huh?

Mac

I...I don't know, Bloo. Are you sure?

Bloo

Totally! The commercial tells us it was some fantastical, magical place for imaginary friends who need a happy, sure place to crash, hang out, and do things. It's gonna feel great cuz it must feel great!

Mac

I guess you're wright. But still.

Bloo

Mac, I know you're worried, but listen. With me living here, your favorite mom shall be there to feel happy because she can feel happy and your favorite mother will be there to feel happy because she does decide to feel happy, so Terrence shall be there to leave you alone because he can leave you alone, and Terrence will be there to leave you alone because he does know to leave you alone, and you can visit me sometime. It's perfect. Our favorite problems are done or solved.