Thanks for the interview, Madame Foster. And thanks for the cookies.
Fluffer NutterI'd like to announcilly that I almost died laughing!
You know I say to that? Ring-a-ding dingly.
No, they didn't, no, they didn't, no, they didn't, no, they didn't, no, they didn't, no, they didn't! [gasps]
Step right up and behold, the amazingest, hilariousest spectacle of a long lifetime!
Bloo, what are you doing?!
What? Oh, nothing, nothing.
You're selling tickets to watch the footage of Mr. Herriman, aren't you?
No, no. What? No, of course not. Frankie erased that, don't you remember? Besides, that was wrong.
Well, no worries now, my friend. You’ll be safe where we’re going.
BFBone Friend
Where’s that? [cuts to Foster’s]
[Bloo is humming to himself until he hears a bunch of friends, including Ringo Rango, Phineas B. Vurm, and Fluffer Nutter, graduate and praise Wilt]
Aw, it was nothing. I’m sure anyone of you would’ve done the same thing if you were in my position.
What, did Wilt get part of the flagpole in this year's Fourth of July pageant again? [snickers]
PBPhineas B. Vurm
Actually, Wilt rescued another abandoned friend from certain doom.
PTPokey Toehair
That's the fourth one this week!
Fluffer Nutter
It's a new record!
Hold the phone, "Record"?! What do you mean, "Record"?!? So what, it's like some sort of contest?
Oh no, it's not a contest at all. It's more like a service to all imaginary friends, great and small, so that they might have a chance at a happy and healthy life with a loving owner of their own. So, we, as the friends of Foster's, must do our duty and bring in as many of those needy and abandoned friends as we possibly can!
So, uh, what’s in for ya, Wilt ol’ buddy? A new car? A trip to some far away and exotic land?! Cash Moneys?!?
No, nothing like that. It’s our duty, as-!
PBPhineas B. Vurm
Well, there is "The Wall".
Yeah, well, I guess there is that.
Well, Madam Foster likes to put a photo up on "The Wall" each month of whoever best exemplifies the duties of a friend who-
[interrupting] Yeah, Yeah, where’s this so-called "Wall"?
[Bloo and a few other Friends see "The Wall", a wall which is accompanied by a photo called "Friend of the month" and various portraits of Wilt helping other Imaginary Friends in need]
[angered] Oh, I get it. You just want all the glory for yourself! [imitates Wilt] "Oh, it’s not a contest. It’s our duty as friends of Foster's to—" Blah, Blah, Blahbity, Blah, Blah, Malarkey! Well, let me tell you, Mr. Sporty Socks, your wall of fame in the hall of frames is about to crumble, because two can play it this game.
[ignoring Wilt’s confession as he leaves Foster’s] Just you wait and see. I’m gonna bring home the biggest and bestest friend this joint has ever seen!
That would be fantastic, Bloo, but this isn’t a— [Bloo slams the doors, leaving Wilt and the other Friends dumbfounded] ...Contest.
[to himself] Hump! I’ll show him who’s the friend of the month. Just as soon as I figure out where the heck am I going to find a friend in need.
Fluffer Nutter
That's it! [throws drumsticks] There aren't going to be any shark uniforms, instrument changes, cats, or anything like that! We are "Pizza party!"
Right right. We are Pizza Party. And...?
Fluffer Nutter
No, Bloo, we are! And Bloppy Pants is our singer!
Um...yeah. I'm...I'm...I'm- I'm the singer. Sorry, Bloo. [Walks away to the Pizza Party]
You...Um...[whispering] not part of the um... uh-band.
[talking normally] Well, i-i-it's just because... well...
YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! [covers his mouth] Oops!
Ruin everything?! Whaaaa!? but-
Fluffer Nutter
No buts, Bloo. We're sorry, but you are out.
Actually, um... You never quite were [clears throat] in.
I- Well, that's the other manner all of you feel?
FBFluffer, Billy, and Yogi
YES!
Fine! [knocks down the microphone on his favorite side out] I didn't want to be in your crummy band anyhow! [slams the door and sits outside]
[Wilt dares Bloo to unplug the TV in the rec room, but as he pulls out the TV's plug from the outlet, indistinct complaining from Fluffer Nutter, Sunset Junction, and Boomer are heard, and they arise in front of the TV, glaring mad at him]
Fluffer Nutter
What the heck?! We've been playing that game for nine hours!
Uh… [runs down the halls as they chase him] Wilt dared me to do it! WILT DARED ME TO DO IT! [hides behind Wilt's tall legs]
Fluffer Nutter
Oh, he did, did he? Well, Wilt, I dare you to.... eat Jackie's sandwich!
[Boomer faints]
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Today's not Sunday, but friends from all over the house have joined together for the first-ever Foster's Dare Cup Tournament! They will endure intense physical trials, face life-changing humiliation…and maybe eat a worm. All for the chance of winning the title "Ultimate Dare Master!" Let the dares begin! Round 1 – Bloopy Pants VS. Preparation Ape. Dare!
PAPreparation Ape
Punch a friend in the butt.
[Bloopy Pants sneaks up behind Frankie while she's washing dishes, punches her in the buttocks and dashes away]
Lay out by the pool without (wearing) sunblock.
[Preparation Ape is laying outside by the pool on a beach chair, in pain; gives in by squirting loads of sunblock on himself]
Winner: Bloppy Pants. Round 2 – Bloo VS. Rodney Squiddlebeak. Dare!
RRodney
Handlebar mustache draw!
[Bloo successfully draws a handlebar mustache on his face with a marker]
Braid Creaky Pete's beard!
[Rodney tries to braid Creaky Pete's beard, but fails when a swarm of bats fly out]
Winner: Bloo. Round 3 – Mac VS. Yogi Boo Boo. Players, to the ready. Dare!
Mac, I dare you to… [thinking] Eh, to…
BBoomer
Give him a mohawk.
Fluffer Nutter
Make him admit he loves someone.
Make it Frankie. Mac loves Frankie. He’ll never be able to do that one.
He's had a crush on her like forever.
Nuh-uh! I do not! Everyone loves me like a dear little brother more than Mac.
[Bloo enters the foyer, meeting Mac and Frankie reading a load of letters from all the adopted imaginary friends]
[satisfied] Best Adopt-a-Thought Saturday ever, if I do say so myself. Listen to this. [reads some letters] "I couldn't be happier." And this! [reads another] "I love my new family." [and another] "I have found paradise on Earth. Thank you, Foster's."
Here's one from eight-armed Evan. [reading] "I'm writing to seven of my little boy's pen pals while I write this note to you. I have never felt more fulfilled."
Here's one from… Cheese? [reading] "Dear Voice man, please send me the thing you showed me on the TV. Here is my $8.95." [pennies fall out; annoyed] "In pennies."
Here's a postcard from Sam Burger. [reading] "Dear Foster's, things are great. My new friend…"
[voiceover] …Ronald is great! And boy, is he generous. Ronald has paid for both of us to go on a world cruise.
Here's a short note from Bloppy Pants! [reading] "I have never been surrounded by so much love." [touched] Aww, isn't that sweet?
[Bloppy Pants has been adopted by a stereotypical Italian family at his new home while having dinner]
IBItalian Brother
[places his elbow on Bloppy Pants' head] Hey, bro, pass the sauce.
[uncomfortably] Well, I'm not sure that I can reach--
IMItalian Mother
[grabs him by the cheeks] My sweet baby boy! Have another helping of brisket. You want to grow up big and strong like your brothers, don't you?
[blushing] Well, I… [a piece of brisket lands on his plate; whimpers uncomfortably as he sinks]
[Back at Foster's; Mac, Bloo, and Frankie approach a heartbroken Fluffer Nutter sitting on the stairway]
Hey, Fluffer Nutter. What's going on with Jackie?
Fluffer Nutter
He's fine! [crumples up the letter] He's very, very happy! [throws the crumpled-up letter at Mac, hitting him in the forehead, and runs off, bawling]
[picks up and unfolds the crumpled letter; reading] "Yo, Foster's. Hope there ain't no hard feelings for dropping y'all a line sooner…"
[Fade to Jackie's new home]
[voiceover] …but I didn't want to rub your poor, pitiful noses in my good luck. But what can I say? My new crib has got it going on. It's loaded with tons of pricey toys. Got my new old lady eating out of the palm of my hand. And speaking of eating, how's about a 24-hour all-access pass to the family fridge? Boo-yah! I ain't met the kid that I'm supposed to hang with yet, but Tabby comes home from the hospital later today. I'll have her in my pocket by dinner time.
[Back at Foster's…]
[finishing up reading] "Which reminds me, it's time for my mid-morning sandwich. Peace out, Jackie K."
[Fluffer Nutter wails off-screen]
TMTelegram Man
[as Frankie answers the door] Telegram for Foster from Mr. Soppy Plants.
Oh, do you mean Bloppy Pants?
TMTelegram Man
Look, lady, they pay me to deliver 'em, okay? Reading 'em right, that's your business. Now, are you Foster or what?
[takes the telegram] Yeah, I'm Foster. [closes the door, then looks at the telegram] This is strange.
[reading] "Family life didn't suit me. Have landed in a quiet college town and decided to go back to school."
[Bloppy Pants crashes a trailer truck into the foyer and jumps out]
[shocked] Master Bloppy Pants?! What have you done?!
Only thing I could do! Had to escape the horrors of the outside world! COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! [opens up the back doors of the truck, revealing all the recently adopted imaginary friends] So I went and saved the others and brought us all back to Foster's.
Fluffer Nutter
[hugs Jackie as he hops out; happily] Jackie!
[The other imaginary friends hop out of the truck and enter the house]
IFImaginary Friend Crayon
I was actually quite happy in my new home.
EEveryone
[surprised as Sam Burger hops out] Sam Burger?!
[puzzled] But how did you-- how could you-- who am I?
That Bloppy Pants is a miracle worker.
EEveryone
[as Eduardo is the last to hop out of the truck; happily] Eduardo!
[surprised] But, but… we thought you were shot!
Sí. I was shot. [takes out a magazine with him on the cover] With a telephoto lens. The hunters turned out to be reporters looking for Samsquatch, or Bigfoot. Then they got a good look at me, and start calling me "big butt" instead. I no can stay Ezzie anymore. Her papa no like the paparazzi. Be honest, does this photo make my heinie look muy grande?
It's good to have you home, Ed.
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends · 295 quotes
