Bloo quotes from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Bloo

CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESEE!!!! Where are you, little buddy?! Come on, little bro! Speak to me! Tell me you're alright! CHEESE!

Mac

Bloo, what's going on?

Bloo

Cheese! Speak to me! SPEAK TO ME!

Cheese

Yeah, I like potatoes.

Frankie

He was eating soap for me finding him.

Cheese

Potatoes smell like flowers.

Bloo

A laundry chute. It's perfect! The lunatic can never find-

Bloo

(muffled) Heeeeeeeeelp!!

Bloo

[spits the water out] *gasps* Wilt!

Wilt

Sorry!

Bloo

What were you thinking?!

Wilt

(feeling worried) Sorry!

Bloo

You really scared me!

Wilt

Sorry!

Bloo

For now, hide me back in here before he finds me and I get squashed!

Wilt

So- (shakes his head) Say what?

Bloo

Hide me in here before I get squashed.

Wilt

You really take your hide and seek seriously!

Bloo

I'm not playing hide and seek! I'm playing hide and not get my face pulverized!

Wilt

I don't know that game.

Bloo

The other big, scary, new guy wants to punch my face in at 4:00 p.m. Apparently, I said something that seems to "offend" him!

Wilt

What did you say?

Bloo

Nothing.

Bloo

A bunch of us were becoming the silliest persons awhile ago, and nowadays, the other new guy likes to walk in. And besides, he's really tall, so I asked him, "How's the weather up there?"

Bloo

A joke!

Wilt

A joke?

Bloo

Yeah.

Wilt

(getting really steamed) A joke?!

Wilt

I'm not laughing, giggling, chuckling, cackling, guffawing, snickering, tittering, snorting, tee-heeing, chortling, and sniggering!

Bloo

Must go over your head.

Wilt

Over my head? Was anything supposed to happen to jokes?

Bloo

I don't see what the big, tall deal is.

Wilt

Of course you don't! No one ever does! "How's the weather up there?" Well, how's the weather down there?!

Bloo

Partly cloudy, 20% chance of- You know what? This isn't helping me. Just shut the door and put it on gentle.

Wilt

Oh, no, I am not helping you hide! I, for one person, applaud the other new guy! You're getting exactly what you deserve to do!

Bloo

(overjoyed) A racecar bed?! I'm finally getting a racecar bed?!

Wilt

No. You're getting your own "desserts"!

Wilt

A real taste of your own medicine!

Bloo

Is it bubblegum flavored?

Wilt

No, Bloo, but you're gonna take it cuz you must take it anyways! Your own days of insensitivity towards us non-smalls are over nowadays! Before the clock strikes four and goes, it strikes!

Bloo

Oh yeah? Not if I strike first.

Deo, honey, baby. Why ain't you dressed? Why ain't you going to get dressed? We wanna go-go-go.

Bloo

NO! I'm not doing any appearances, corporate speaking gigs, sleeping in a cage or trying to stick my head into every guy's underarm ever again! I QUIT!

What're you saying, kid? Don't mince words.

Bloo

I quit! I just wanna get something to eat, then go home to see my friends! I quit!

You can't quit.

Bloo

Sure, I can. Watch. I… QUIT!

I own you, kid. That contract you signed--that wasn't an acting contract. It was adoption papers. So, as your legal guardian, I say YOU CAN'T QUIT!

Bloo

But... I didn't wanna be adopted!

"But I didn't wanna be adopted!" Well, you shouldn't have gone on television saying that you did! You ASKED for this! Now, you are gonna get into your little costume and you're gonna perform your live variety show for millions of TV VIEWERS LIKE WE PLANNED! YOU GOT THAT, You JERK?!

Bloo

[gulps] Y-Y-Yes, sir...

Not so fast, Deo! You're not going anywhere! I created you! I OWN you!

Bloo

No, Kip. You didn't create me. Mac, my favorite best friend, created me. For I am Blooregard Q. Kazoo, imaginary friend. Not some flashy marketing campaign designed to get people to buy a shoddy deodorant product that doesn't seem to work. [audience gasps] That's wright, audience. Deo Brand Deodorant doesn't really make people smell all things better.

You think I care that people know my product stinks? You think I care how PEOPLE stink? I DON'T care! [audience gasps] In fact, Deo Brand Deodorant makes people smell all things so WORSE!

NOOO!

That's it, pal. We're taking you downtown.

You're spending the rest of your life rotting in prison.

Arresting me? For what?!

Article 254, Section 3: False Advertising.

NOOOOO!!!!!!

Bloo

Look. I saw you doing extra school work during recess.

Mac

Bloo, I wasn't doing extra school work. I was in detention.

Bloo

Detention? For what?

Mac

Blowing spit wads.

Bloo

Today's story was about how you should really accept your friends for who they are. Don't try to change them, just 'cause you think they should be different. Especially if it's going to end up blowing up in your face and get you adopted off to a bunch of little kids. Always ask yourself, "How's this gonna affect me?" Learn from my mistake and accept your nerdy friend for who he is.

Why are you telling me this?

Frankie

Sounds to me like someone's jealous!

Bloo

Not jealous, journalist. [Mac rolls his eyes] I heard that!

Bloo

So, do we need to get our awesome jet cars for now?

Mr. Herriman

[sarcastically] Oh yes, they're in the mail.

Bloo

Yes!

Mac

Um, Bloo. I think he was being sarcastic.

Bloo

Oh. But who cares? We're getting jet cars! Jet cars, dude!

Mac

No, see, he was just saying that because it isn't true.

Bloo

So he was lying?

Mac

No, he was using sarcasm. He said the opposite to make it funny! Ha ha!

Bloo

That wasn't funny. Knock-knock jokes. Knock-knock jokes are funny.

Mac

[sarcastically] Yeah. Knock-knock jokes are hilarious.

Bloo

That's what I'm saying.

Mac

No, I was being sarcastic.

Bloo

Stop it. That isn't a serious dare.

Mac

Frankie, explain sarcasm to Bloo.

Frankie

What? You don't understand sarcasm?

Bloo

No.

Frankie

But you use it the rest of the other time.

Bloo

Right. I use it for the rest of the other time.

Frankie

See? You just used it.

Bloo

I did? Sure I did, Frankie.

Mac

You're totally trying to mess with us, aren't you?

Mac

What? Why do they know we were coming?

Bloo

The mighty eye of Foster sees all.

Duchess

[as it starts to rain; to Mac & Bloo] I assume you didn't bring an umbrella.

Madame Foster

Give 'em no mercy cause if Duchess returns, you ain't getting any from her.

Mac

Is this the flight to Europe?

Yes, it is. You just made it.

Mac

We made it! We made it!

Tickets?

Mac

I like to have them! [gets them out of his backpack but realizes they're not in there]

Frankie

[annoyed] Grandma, we're home!

Mr. Herriman

Oh, Master Mac. I'm upset by your careless behavior. My schedule is null and void.

Coco

Co! Coco coco co!

I es muy disappointed in you, Señor Mac.

Wilt

Usually, I can forgive anything, but… [sniffs] I'm sorry. This is going to take me a while. Is that okay?

Bloo

Real nice, Mac. Do you know how long I've been looking forward to this trip? I wouldn't give it up for the world. For the world.

Mac

But they were in my backpack, I swear.

Eduardo

[gasps] You took my fleas?! Oh, you big meanies!

Bloo

No, but I wish we did. Man, I want fleas so bad!

Mr. Herriman

Fleas?! How did you get fleas? Oh, goodness gracious! We cannot allow fleas in this house! Everyone furry will most certainly catch them!

Frankie

[disgusted] Ugh! Gross! I am not having that!

Eduardo

You will never take them away from me!

Frankie

YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!

Eduardo

They're my friends!

Frankie

SO ARE WE!

Bloo

[with ticks all over his body] Look at me! I got new fleas and they're bigger than yours! They are super fleas.

Mac

Bloo, those are ticks. They suck out your blood.

Bloo

Yeah, ri-- [faints]

Mac

Merry Christmas Eve!

Mac!

Wilt

Come on in, Mac! We saved the star for you! Is that okay?

Mac

Are you kidding? Of course it's o… [Wilt picks him up] Whoa! [places the star on top of the tree]

Yay!

Wilt

[sets Mac back down] I'm sorry, but I'm so excited!

Coco

Coco! Coco! Coco! Co!

Wilt

That's right! 'Cause tomorrow is our first Christmas with Mac and Bloo! This is gonna be the best Christmas ever!

Mr. Herriman

Oh, this is going to be the worst Christmas ever! Where is Miss Frances?

Wilt

Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. H. I think she went out.

Mr. Herriman

Oh, for goodness sake! Probably out holiday shopping again I suppose! She's neglected to pay these utility bills on time just like she did last December! The world does not stop turning for the holidays you know! She should expect to find a good talking-to under the tree this year! Hmph!

Mac

Wow, I didn't know Mr. Herriman was such a Scrooge.

Wilt

Oh, he's not so bad. He gets a little stressed, but every year he makes sure there's just enough money to get every friend in the house one whole Christmas present.

Mac

There's no Santa. Eh... No Santa. [lays on his side] Eh... No Santa. [shivers]

Bloo

This is a travesty! This is the most catastrophic, cataclysmic, cata... cata... cata-awful occurrence this world has ever known! Do you realize what this means?!

Mac

It means that everything in the world is a lie! [sobs]

Bloo

Um, no! It means I get one crummy gift this year! And you know it's gonna be lame because it's from Herriman! He's probably gonna get me socks! Socks, Mac. SOCKS! No! No! I refuse to accept it. Santa's real! Real I tell you!

Mac

Just think about it. Nothing about Santa makes any logical sense. Man, I'm so stupid! I actually believed that a huge fat guy can get his big behind down a chimney. I totally bought at someone could miraculously travel around the world in just one night. I mean, geez! That's just so totally bogus! Even with magic deer! And as such a total bonehead, I completely fell for it that someone that lives in the North Pole has some resources to manufacture and produce brand name toys. And not get his jolly red suit... [Bloo slaps him] Ow!

Bloo

[shakes Mac] Get a hold of yourself! I'm not going to give up Santa without a fight! And neither will you! [continuously shakes Mac] Do you hear me?!

Mac

[feeling dizzy] Yes, just stop shaking me!

Bloo

[drops Mac] Come on. We're going to conduct a few experiments.