Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason quotes from Fanboy & Chum Chum

PANCAKE FIGHT!

Kyle

Oh, help, help, help! [gets hit with a pancake]

Fanboy

Ooh, a red-hot huckleberry, and on your first try.

Chum Chum

That gets you a sky-high rocket ride.

Kyle

AND I REFUSE TO SPEND ONE MORE MOMENT IN THIS NUTHOUSE! LET! ME! OUT OF HERE!

You know Sigmund?

Kyle

I'm afraid so. And let me tell you... [They use Kyle to knock the crowd out of the way and put him in front of Sigmund] ...only to make others feel sad about themselves. And I hope to never lay eyes upon him again! [Chum Chum pulls his eyelids open] Oh, hello, look who it is.

Kyle

Hello, Sigmund.

Sigmund

Vell, if it isn't Kyle...ze CONSTIPATOR! [laughs]

Kyle

You know PERFECTLY well that it's Kyle the Conjurer!

Sigmund

Oh, Baby pheasant, How unexpecticuly posh?, I suppose, I could force it down. Ah, Ah, Ah!

Kyle

What are you doing?

Sigmund

Why is my dinner not serving itself to me?! Your house is enchanted, is it not?

Kyle

Enchanted?

Sigmund

Yeah, enchanted! Teapots that pour their own tea, napkins that jump into your lap, knives that cut without you holds them, ENCHANTED!!!

Kyle

Well, well. So, Kyle the Constipator finally has something the great Sigmund wants. Well tough toads, they're not for sale!

Sigmund

I'll get you readmitted to Milkweed.

Kyle

Really?

Sigmund

I'm on the board. Hehe.

Kyle

Sold! I'll just go pack, shall I?

Fanboy

Oh don't feel bad, Kyle. You still have your friends.

Kyle

Yes, I suppose I am a winner after all.

Chum Chum

Group hug!

You've been dazzled!

Kyle

You make it so difficult.

Chum Chum

Fanboy, is this the end?

Fanboy

I'm afraid so, little buddy...

Chum Chum

I just want you to know you're the best friend anyone could've ever hoped for!

Fanboy

Not better than you, little buddy! I'll never forget you!

Chum Chum

And I'll never forget you!

Fanboy

Oh, and of course Kyle, we can't forget him.

Kyle

Indeed, yes, good, show all the way around.

Fanboy

Boy, Chum Chum, can you believe after all we've been through, this is where it ends?

Chum Chum

Yeah, we had some good times, didn't we?

Fanboy

Boy, it feels like just yesterday we met...

[toddles towards and waves at Chum Chum] Hi!

[pokes Fanboy's left eye] Eye!

Fanboy

We were so innocent...

Oh, my beautiful town of Mufflinflusen! [To F&C] I am so angry, I can see straight! THAT'S STRIKE 2! Time for your punishment!

Chum Chum

Punishment? But don't we get 3 strikes?

Kyle

[Floating upside down from the ceiling] Ooh, Ooh, back sass! Isn't that strike 3? [disappears]

The butt-kisser's right.

Kyle

[reappears] Thank you. [disappears again]

You leave me no choice but... to SEPARATE YOUR DESKS!!!!

Kyle

Oopsie, heh. Auf Wiedersehen!

Ooh-ah. Oh, sweet Mufflinflusen! [crying then, enraged] You two! [picks up F&C] You destroyed MUFFLINFLUSEN! That's it, I am separating you two... PERMANENTLY!

WHAT?!?

I'm gonna see to it you're in separate classrooms. MAYBE EVEN SEPARATE SCHOOLS! [Puts F&C at their desks, then kicks Chum Chum's to the wall]

Chum Chum

NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Fanboy

No Mr. Mufflin, please! Chinese destiny, KIDNEY, SPACE TIME CONTINUUM!!!

Yeah, yeah, fate of the universe. I've heard it all be- FOR THE LOVE OF LEDERHOSEN!

Kyle

Oh, Mr. Mufflin! Fanboy didn't write his book report!

Uh...but Purple Kid did write his!

Fanboy

Hang on, Kyle! I'll pull you up!

Kyle

No! I'd rather plummet to my Demise than go on without knowing how to do that ring trick!

Fanboy

That's crazy! You fall into lava just because you don't know how to rotate your wrist a quarter turn and gently pull? [realizes he revealed the secret] Oh, no.

Kyle

[discovers it all came back to him] You mean like this? [turns the ring and pulls. It comes loose] I did it! I truly am the lord of the rings! [falls into the lava pit below him] Oh, poop.

Fanboy

Aww, what's wrong, baby Kyle?

I don't know, [sobbing] it seems I'm not suffically fatigued!

Fanboy

Baby Kyle, we can understand your baby gibberish. No, we can't.

I'm not tired!

Chum Chum

Maybe baby wants to be helded.

Fanboy

[gasps] Does somebody want to go uppums?

Yes, yes, I want to be held.

Kyle

Step 1: Sprinkle anti-fairy dust on the floor. Good. [sings] Fairy, be gone! Fairy, be gone! Fairy, be gone! Done. Step 2: Knock three times. Okay, that's easy. [knocks on the coffee table three times]

Fanboy

I'll get it!

Kyle

No!

Fanboy

Kyle, it's for you.

Kyle

And now, for your birthday enjoyment...

Chum Chum

Ooh! The entertainment's starting!

Kyle

May I present, Kyle, the Conjurer. [crowd cheers]

Chum Chum

Ooh, Kyle! I didn't know you did magic. Can you make a penny come outta my nose?

Kyle

Since it's your birthday, I'll ignore that. And instead... [the lights go out as he begins his speech] perform MAGIC! So dark, it'll cause you mere mortals to weep before me and bow down in awe of my infinite power! [he disappears, then reappears as the lights come back and the crowd cheers] Thank you. Thank you.

Chum Chum

Ooh. Now can you pour milk into a newspaper?

Kyle

Eh-heh, for my next trick, I had something grander in mind. I would now like to...

Fanboy

Make someone disappear? Done! [he leaves to focus on the gift]

Kyle

Huh? I was going to summon a dragon to paint your name in fire.

Chum Chum

I want a balloon poodle.

Fanboy

[falls to the ground and sobs dramatically]

Chum Chum

Fanboy, what's the matter?

Fanboy

[sobbing] Oh, Chum Chum, I forgot your birthday! I don't have a present! That confiscated briefcase was the only present I could find!

Chum Chum

But I didn't expect two presents.

Fanboy

Two presents? What do you mean?

Chum Chum

You already gave me the best present: You spent the whole day with me! [remembers everything they did via slideshow] We woke up in the morning together, we played pin-the-tail-on-your-butt together, you did an amazing magic trick for me...

Kyle

[head moving in picture] I helped.

Chum Chum

We met Man-Arctica together! We opened all my other presents together! Being together is the best present you could ever get me!