Kyle Bloodworth-Thomason quotes from Fanboy & Chum Chum

Kyle

Oh, dear. We're trapped on the bus and we're headed for the Glop Mines! Suddenly I don't feel so... [barfs]

Bus Lady Cram

This is supposed to be a field trip, isn't it? WELL, START SINGING!

[singing] Ninety-nine buckets of glop on the wall, ninety-nine buckets of glop, if one of those buckets should happen to fall...

Bus Lady Cram

[evil laughter]

Kyle

Why didn't I think of it before? I can use my wand to save us!

Chum Chum

Kyle, you can do magic?

Kyle

[facepalms] Urr. Stand back! I will now transport us back -- to the school from whence we came. Reverseus, Field Trippercurse! [accidently tosses wand out partway open window] Oh, heh. It looks like she didn't shut every window. Huh.

Chum Chum

Urrrrr!! It's gonna grab us, and spin us around, and then swallow us in its fiery mouth!

Kyle

We're gonna travel through its pitch-black gullet, tortured by the screams of our companions!

Fanboy

And just when we think it's done with us, it's gonna spit us out, THEN SUCK US BACK IN!!!

Chum Chum

Kyle, thank you so much for saving us from that mob!

Kyle

Yes, well I had to ensure they wouldn't get their hands on that...WINNING CUP! Which I shall pluck from your ashes, once I char you...with the FIRES OF RAGNAR!!! [laughs evilly]

Fanboy

Seems a bit over-the-top...why don't we just share?

Kyle

What?

Chum Chum

We can share the prize! Then, you can give Ragnar back his fireball.

Kyle

Oh, thank you. That's quite nice of -- Wait a minute! NO! Kyle the Conjurer doesn't share! He SUMMONS THE FIRES OF RAGNAR...and TAKES.

Fanboy

Ooh, ooh, ohh! Let's just all write our names on the cup! That way, we can officially split, 50/50/50!

Kyle

Well...okay. But you two have the knack for taking the fun out of everything. Oh-ho-ho, I see what you're trying to do! You wrapped the winning cup with a contract, written in invisible ink. And if I sign, I'll have no memory of the cup. And I'll probably be poofed out of existence. Heh. SO if anyone is going to execute a devious plot, it will be me: Kyle the Conjurer! Mark my words, this isn't over! I'LL BE BACK! [briefly disappears] Wait, this is my mountain. You go.

Sigmund

Congratulations on your purchase of my latest und greatest Merchan-dazzle: Sigmund ze Sorcerer's Vizard Challenge!

Whoa!

Kyle

Ugh, even his hologram is insufferable!

Sigmund

You!

Fanboy

Me!, Oh he picked me!

Sigmund

Are you ready for ze ultimate video game challenge?

Fanboy

Yes!, My life's work has led to this moment.

Sigmund

Zhen, enter your vizard name.

Sigmund

Fandalf! Gorlock! Pyle the Insignificant, choose your controllers!

Awesome!

Kyle

Wait, What -- what about me? Where's my controller?

Sigmund

Vands are for vizards! You will be the shoe.

Kyle

Oh, Milkweed. Your forgotten son has returned-- [something falls and bounced on his head, landing on his hands] What the elf is this?

Fanboy

[when the lights turn on, showing they returned back to reality] Ooh!, It's a board game!

Chum Chum

Milkweed Academy: The Home Game.

Kyle

You mean I've been busting my shoe just to win a stupid game for children?!

Fanboy

Not just for children!, Fun for ages 8 to 888.

Kyle

[slamming the board game on the floor] THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

Sigmund

[suddenly on orb hologram] But Kyle, you didn't foolishly think that playing a video game vould get you into ze most exclusive school in the universe, did you?

Kyle

Yes, that is what your ambiguous marketing led me to -- wait. How did you know my name?

Sigmund

Hmm, how indeed Kyle?, Could be zat I am not the hologram, but rather ze real Sigmund surrounded by a glowly spell? Oh, Kyle. It seems zat you vill never learn! [Sigmund Laughs, Suddenly freezes and grunting] Vait!, Vhy am I not able to move ze limbs?!

Fanboy

Woah, What is that thing? [Kyle Appears In A Crystal Ball] Hey, it's Kyle!

Chum Chum

What are you doing in Dollarnator's snow globe?

Kyle

That's my palantír, you dimwitted delinquents! Stay right where you are. [switches the background from his living room to the Fanlair] I've been looking for you all night. Where is he? What have you done with him?

Fanboy

Woah, Easy There, Kyle, We Don't Know What You're Talking About!

You Know I Remember? I-I Picked You Up And We All Peaked Out on That Sweet Birthday Cake! [He Laughs, Bops his neck and Belches Out The Flan Bits]

Kyle

[upon seeing a devoured Professor Flan] Oh, Professor Flan... [hangs head] Maybe I can Bake you back together with all that's left! [gathers flan bits and leaves]

Kyle

Oh, please! The only reaction you two could evoke are cries of boredom. Zing!

Fanboy

Are you saying you have a better idea than hot dog fingers, with ketchup blood?

Kyle

Urrrrgh. As a matter of fact...I do!

Kyle

Shall we begin? Let us all join hands.

Fanboy

Hey, Kyle? If we're holding hands, how are they gonna fill the spaghetti and grapes?

Kyle

[growls and knocks the spaghetti bowl away] ENOUGH WITH THE SPAGHETTI AND GRAPES! [Takes Fanboy's hand, and they join the others] Oh, powerful spirits from beyond. We who are among the living, who humbly implore, and invite you to --

Fanboy

Ahem. Uh, Kyle? We're kinda on a time crunch here?

Kyle

Oh, very well! [avatar state] Demon from the depths of the underworld, I summon thee! I SUMMON THEE!!!