Kill Moves quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

Kill Moves

Is that burnt mac 'n cheese?

Julius

Yeah. Why?

Kill Moves

It's just the way I like it!

Narrator

He wants that blackaroni, 'cause he's on that crackaroni.

Narrator

It seemed like everyone had advice for raising a baby.

Kill Moves

You need to teach this boy how to protect himself. Now, I suggest the Brazilian two-finger neck snap! Want me to show you how it works?

Mr. Omar

Teach the baby to honor the mother and the father, and if the father should meet a tragic death, the baby shouldn't be upset if the mother makes friends with a nice man.

[off-screen] Omar, I need more bubbles!

Mr. Omar

Gotta go.

Risky

Teach this baby the difference between the knock-offs and the real thing. For instance, "Gucci" does not have an "H" in it.

Monk

Ask anybody. They'll tell you. You can always hang out with your daddy. Go to the movie.

Jerome

Go to the game, man. You know if my father wasn't in jail, that's what I'd do.

Mr. Omar

Yeah, go to the game, but whatever you do, don't sit behind home plate. My father was killed by a line drive to the medulla oblongata. Tragic!

Risky

Go to the game. My father never took me 'cause I was a test tube baby. Want some peanuts?

Kill Moves

Why don't you and the girl go see a movie about the game that your father's goin' to?

Narrator

In order to exact the perfect revenge, I decided I should consult some experts.

Jerome

If I was you, I'd move on to his block and take a dollar from him every day for the rest of his life. Lemme hold a dollar.

Vanessa

You could slash his tires, pour sugar in his gas tank, put bleach on his clothes, give his wife a bad perm.

Kill Moves

Revenge? Success, the best revenge.

Go talk to Kill Moves, 'cause Kill Moves has his ear to the street.

Julius

What do you hear, Kill Moves?

Kill Moves

Four riders, two on ponies.

Julius

No! About my place gettin' robbed.

Kill Moves

I didn't hear anything about that, but don't say I didn't warn you about the comin' Indian attack.

Baby, it's so good to see you. I've been very worried.

Kill Moves

It's good to see you too, Mom.

How have you been?

Kill Moves

Homeless.

Other than that.

Kill Moves

Good. You know, watchin' my diet. I get a lotta exercise, and I don't talk to space people as much as I used to. Except for Gazoo.

Of course.

Vanessa

Hey, slick, if you wasn't a psychotic, homeless bum, I'd go out with you.

Kill Moves

Get in line, sister. Get in line.

Narrator

After 15 bottles of shampoo and a Silkwood shower, our job was complete.

Vanessa

You're done.

Kill Moves

Ooh-ee! I look like a young Cleavon Little.

Narrator

More like an old Clifton Davis.

Monk

So, what made you think of this, anyway, Chris?

Chris

Well, I remembered that Jaws was a book before a movie, so I figured they made a movie out of The Invisible Man.

Kill Moves

I wish they'd start makin' movies into books. Popcorn gettin' expensive.