Rochelle Rock quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

Rochelle

You shouldn't be embarrassed that your boy only has a fifth-grade reading level. You should be embarrassed that he's 27! He should be reading "War and Peace," not "Horton Hears a Who!"

Rochelle

Who you gonna call?

Rochelle

[to a bunch of girls who are wearing hoop earrings] What are y'all laughin' at with your hoop earrings on? Let's see if your mother's gigglin' when you bringin' home babies. Who's laughin' now, huh? It ain't funny no more, is it?

Rochelle

Boy, don't you know you are too big for a coloring book? White kids your age are buildin' sculptures by now and you over there tryin' to stay inside the lines. Come on, Picasso, get to chippin'. Come on, chip on. Chip, chip, chip. Chip, chip, chip.

Rochelle

Your credit card. Be a man about it, Julius! It's got your name on it! Oh, and you know what else it says, Julius? It says "card holder since 1970." That means that for 15 years, you've been hidin' this from me!

Rochelle

You know what? I'm gonna change your name from Chrissy the Black to Chrissy the Black and Blue.

Rochelle

Are you crazy? X does not equal Y! You carry the 2 over the N! I mean, how hard can it be?!

Rochelle

Look, Chris, I don't know what you're gonna do with your life. You may go to college, you may not. But know whatever you do, you're gonna be good at it. 'Cause I'll have no grown man sleepin' at my house.

Rochelle

[repeated line] Vote for Johnson!

Rochelle

I'm up, OK?! Are you happy now?! I mean, what does a woman have to do to get some rest around here?! GET SHOT?

Rochelle

"I'M BAAAACCCCKKKKKKK!!!

Rochelle

You better not get on stage and embarrass me in front of a bunch of white people, or else I'm gonna smack the pomp outta your circumstances.

Rochelle

[to Chris] Would you go dance with yourself someplace else?!

Rochelle

Hello. Thank you for calling. Nobody is available to take your call right now. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep.

Rochelle

You better watch your mouth unless you wanna get smacked into the new year.