Drew Rock quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

This gives a whole other meaning to Neighborhood Watch.

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James

When is she gonna stop screamin' and start strippin'?

Drew

[slapping James] That's my mother!

James

I know!

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Drew

I hate the sand. I don't know where it comes from, and it gets into places you can't get it out of.

Like broke cousins.

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Drew

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Nothing he wants you to know about.

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When you're a kid, one of the most important lessons you learn is when your parents tell you to do something...

Y'all better eat that liver.

CDChris, Drew and Tonya

Yes, ma'am.

...you do it, no matter what you think.

Boy, get your feet off my good chair.

Drew

Yes, ma'am.

No matter what it is.

Girl, are you crazy?! If you wanna cook your brother, do it outside!

Yes, ma'am.

No matter how you feel.

Chris, clean up the table and do the dishes.

No!

What?

Will I say what I just said again? Will my mother kill me before I get a chance to say it? Are Drew and Tonya gonna sit there and just let this happen? Don't touch that dial!

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You cuttin' the boy's arm off for stickin' his finger in the fan.

What?

Cuttin' off his arm? I don't get it. So, am I the fan?

Drew

I'm pretty sure Chris is the arm.

No, I think the arm is the arm.

Chris is the boy.

Yeah, Chris is the boy. Look, stickin' his finger in the fan is just the equivalent of doin' something stupid.

Drew

Like talkin' back to Mom.

Right.

So cuttin' the arm off is kickin' him outta the house?

Exactly.

So, if he stuck his finger in the fan and I didn't like it, cuttin' his arm off so he wouldn't do it again [along with Julius] wouldn't help.

"""Chris: Look, I Don't Care, All right. It's better than doing everyone else's work. If you had been cleaning up after me for the past ten years, you'd know how I felt.

"""Tonya: (To Chris) Where are you gonna stay?

"""Chris: I'll Find a place

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It looks like Clay-Dough and grits.

Drew

Ugh, it tastes like Clay-Dough and grits.

It is Clay-Dough and grits.

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[Chris is eating his dinner very quickly.]

While I was worried about getting to school, Tonya was worried about getting out of school.

Boy, slow down. You're acting like your food is trying to get away from you.

I'm trying to get to bed. I'm really tired.

Hey, Daddy, can I get my hair done at Nessa's for graduation?

Sure, baby.

Can I get a new dress too?

You don't need a new dress; you can wear your church dress.

But I wore that for Easter. If I wear it for graduation, I'll look back at the pictures, I won't know what I'm remembering.

You'll remember that we couldn't afford to buy you two dresses.

[finishes his drink rapidly] Plus, in one of the pictures, you'd be holding the chocolate bunny. [kisses Rochelle's cheek] Love you. Good night.

Good night.

That's okay. I've been saving up for this. How many times does a girl graduate from sixth grade?

In Bed-Stuy, five.

Thanks, Daddy.

What are you writing, Drew?

Drew

It's a list of things I can do on Amateur Night at the Apollo. I'm gonna try out.

Drew, that's a tough audience. You can't just go up there and do anything; they will boo you faster than Casper on Halloween.

Stevie Wonder could see before he did Amateur Night; they booed him blind.

They booed "Magic" Johnson so bad, he gave up singing.

Drew

"Magic" Johnson is a basketball player.

Now.

Drew

Well, they're not gonna boo me.

That's what Roseanne said before she sang The National Anthem!

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[as Chris enters a diner] Next to a pregnancy scare, waitin' for the results from my G.E.D. was one of the scariest moments of my life.

WWaitress

Who gets that fried crust?

[Chris inserts a quarter into the jukebox on the table, then "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi plays]

[showing up] Hi, baby.

Hey. Where's Drew and Tonya?

They're walkin' over from Doc's.

[singing along] Tommy used to work on the docks. Union's been on strike; he's down on his luck. It's tough.

[as Drew and Tonya show up] Hey!

Hi Mom.

Drew

Oh, I love fried crusts!

Don't fill up on it.

Where's Daddy?

Drew

In his skin. When he jumps out, you can jump in.

[singing along] Hold on...

[singing along] ...if we make it or not. We'll give it a shot.

CDChris, Drew, Tonya and Rochelle

[singing along] Oh, we're halfway there! Oh, oh! Livin' on a prayer! Take my hand; we'll make it, I swear! Oh, oh! Livin' on a prayer!

Hey Ma, I heard they were hirin' at Red Lobster.

They're not hirin' you.

Drew

I wonder how hungry people have to be to eat a lobster? Like, who looks at that and says, "Man, that looks good!"?

Have you thought about what you're gonna do if you don't pass the G.E.D.?

[showing up with Chris' G.E.D. results] Hey, everybody.

Hey, Daddy.

Hi. What's that?

Chris' G.E.D. results.

Drew

Did you pass?

Open it.

Is that fried crust?

Drew

Yeah. And it's good.

[last line on the show] What's it say? [the screen blacks out afterwards, leaving it ambiguous as to whether Chris passed the G.E.D. or not, and the credits roll in silence, mimicking the final episode of The Sopranos.]