Greg Wuliger quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

Greg

We can go to the shore to get girls. We can drive to Manhattan to get girls. We can go to Coney Island to get girls.

Chris

Do you realize that it's still gonna be us in the car?

Greg

It doesn't matter. Cars equal girls.

Greg

Oh, man! You're gonna be so in there! I can't believe you ran it down! I only just ran. What'd she say?

Chris

She said she'll think about it.

Greg

But what does that mean?

Chris

It means, "Lemme check every option, see if I can get someone I want, and if not, I'll go out with you."

Narrator

When she said every option, she meant every option. She checked blind guys.

Tasha

Do you have a girlfriend?

Yeah, girl. What are you, blind?

Narrator

She checked dangerous guys.

Tasha

Do you have a girlfriend?

Yeah, he does! Now gimme your money!

Narrator

She even checked guys who were girls.

Tasha

Do you have a girlfriend?

I'm my own girlfriend.

Narrator

Just about everything I went through at school was hard. The work was tough.

Chris

"Q"?! What's a "Q"?!

Narrator

The people were mean.

Chris

[to Greg] Go ahead. [Greg runs off] [Chris tries to get out of the way but Caruso blocks him every time.] [annoyed] Are we havin' a fight or a dance-off? [Caruso punches him]

Caruso

You know I can't dance.

Narrator

But the one thing about school that was harder than anything else...

Rochelle

Chris, wake up.

Narrator

...was gettin' there.

Rochelle

It's time to go to school. You can't learn nothin' in bed.

Narrator

Tell that to Kim Kardashian. While most kids were still sleepin', I had to get my clothes on, wash may face, brush my teeth, eat...

Chris

[stopping a bus] Hey-hey-hey! Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! Wait, wait! [shows bus ticket, and the bus door opens.]

Narrator

...and then catch three buses. If I got the first one on time, it gave me just enough time to catch the second one which usually made me right on time to catch the third one. And if nothing went wrong, I'd be on time.

Greg

Hey, Chris.

Chris

[to Greg] Hey. [to Mr. Thurman] After you.

[to Chris] You're late. Now go to the principal's office and get a tardy slip.

Here. [gives Chris a tardy slip.] Just for the record, Chris, you can't afford to be late again. The clocks in this school are set to Eastern Standard Time, not C.P. Time.

Chris

What difference does it make if I'm late? We took all our tests. We only got, like, one more week to go.

Counting today, you have been late 29 times this year, and 30 is the limit. If you're late again, you will not be promoted. You will have to repeat the 10th grade.

Chris

[outraged] Say what?!

[sticking to her guns] Say word.

Narrator

Oh, there's a word I wanna say, all right!