Narrator quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

Chris

How are we supposed to get in?

Narrator

Easy. Just wait three more years.

Rochelle

[to Julius] Don't worry. You're not having a party.

Narrator

That's what the Democrats said to Hillary [Clinton].

Chris

You got the IDs?

Greg

Is Janet Jackson in control?

Narrator

Yeah, but Michael isn't.

Gimme my 50 back.

Narrator

That's what 50's girlfriend said to Vivica Fox.

You got a big future ahead of you.

Narrator

A super-sized future.

Narrator

While everyone else took the test, I took out the answers, and after the test results were in, I got called out.

Oh, Chris, I just never would have expected this out of you. I just don't see how you could do this.

Narrator

When you're about to go down for a crime, everybody knows it's best to throw yourself on the mercy of the court.

Chris

Ms. Morello, I can explain. This test meant a lot to my mother.

I bet it did, and she must be proud of you. A perfect score on the PSAT test? That's unheard of in the history of this school! You're like a little chocolate Einstein!

Narrator

More like chocolate Pinocchio.

I'm sorry, but Chris, you're back in your regular classes as of next week, and...

Chris

Yeah, I know. Detention.

No, that would be too easy. I'm making you stay on the Academic Scholastathon Team, and as your punishment, you can go on losing along with them. Listen, I have to go while I still have some hubcaps.

Narrator

Too late!

[to Judge Watkins] And I don't know who you are, but I love a black man in a suit. Call me!

Chris

James "Bonecrusher" Smith is the first heavyweight champ with a college degree. The brother's smart.

Narrator

Then why'd he go into the face-punchin' business?

Chris

You know what? I'll bet you $5 that he beats Tyson in Vegas next week.

Greg

It's like taking candy from a baby.

Narrator

Who would do that?

Instead of being the Italian Stallion, you'll be the Black Stallion!

Narrator

Hope I don't get sent to the glue factory!

Julius

Why you starin' at my feet?

Narrator

She loves your bunions.

I need you, you need me.

Greg

And we need those tickets. It's a win-win.

Narrator

Said the guy who wasn't gonna get punched.

Drew

Showtime!

Narrator

This gives a whole other meaning to Neighborhood Watch.

Rochelle

I don't need a computer. Girl, I'm a walkin' computer.

Vanessa

But I'm not. Girl, I don't even know what's goin' on in my own salon anymore.

Narrator

Sounds like my father.

My prison was better than school.

Narrator

How'd you know? She never went to school.

There's a lot of people getting high in school these days.

Narrator

That's why they call it high school.