Jerry quotes from E.R.

Jerry

Oh, hey! Kovac called. He said next time he's gonna have a triple latte first. Does that make any sense?

[smiles] Yeah.

Chen

Are you two living together now?

No.

Chen

Well, for what it's worth, I think Luka's a good guy.

Oh, wait. You didn't...

Chen

...Sleep with him? No, I went in a completely different direction. [waves at Pratt]

Kerry

[During a fight involving a patient and her husband in the ER] Who's winning?

Neela was about to deck somebody with a bedpan.

Jerry

I've always wanted to see something like that.

It's hard to let go of a dream, isn't it, Jerry?

Jerry

Two words, Pratt: voice mail.

Carter

What's all that?

Pratt

Friends of mine begging me to go to a party after a long 12-hour shift. That's the problem with the non-medical types, they don't get it.

Par-tay tonight at Ike's! The boss man is buying, but don't get used to it. Who's on board?

Carter

[aside] Sometimes the medical types don't get it.

Ray?

Ray

Uh, other plans.

Neela?

Neela

The Apprentice is on.

I've got lawyers, lady.

Yeah? Well, I've got Jerry, so unless you want to be carried out of here like a dirty diaper, I suggest you sit down. [Jerry glances over and puts on a tough-guy face]

...Come on, Zoe. [they walk to the waiting room]

Jerry

[to Sam']'...You know, I abhor violence.

Yeah, I know that- but he doesn't.

Jerry

Dr. Gallant, I'd like to offer my services in officiating at your nuptials.

What?

Jerry

I'm a Universal Life Minister- I can marry you and Neela.

Jer, I think they're looking for something legal.

Jerry

It's completely legal! I've married lots of people.

[grins] So, what- what, are you, like 'Reverend Jerry'?

Jerry

[annoyed] Actually, I go by 'Father Superior.'

Jerry

[about Pratt's suit] Dr. Pratt! Who's the lucky lady?

Pratt

Oh, no, no- it's nothing like that, just a little charity event I gotta attend to.

[adjusting Pratt's tie] Oh, don't you be coy, Pratt! Chicago's 50 hottest bachelors are being auctioned off to benefit the Chicago Health Coalition! [Pratt chuckles]

Jerry

Impressive!

[peeved] I, the 51st hottest bachelor, didn't make the cut.

Abby

How's Olivia feel about this?

Pratt

Feel about what?

Abby

the fact that someone's buying a date with her boyfriend?

Pratt

Aw, I wouldn't put it that way! It's a good cause- she's cool.

Haleh

[sarcastically] Really? Your African-American girlfriend is cool with her African-American boyfriend bein' put up on the block for a bunch of rich white women to bid on?

Pratt

[grins] Take it easy, Angela Davis. How do you know they're all white? See ya!

Frank

What you're about to see is a document of those who serve as the gatekeepers. My name is Martin... Frank Martin.

Jerry

Jerry Markovic.

Frank

The few, the proud...

The desk clerks!

Banfield

Gates, is it my imagination, or is Dr. Carter, who is not on duty by the way, in Trauma One with a patient demonstrating IV placement to a college student.

Gates

What?

Banfield

Never mind... Jerry, why is Dr. Carter performing medical procedures on our patients?

Jerry

Uh... because he's a doctor.