Tony Gates quotes from E.R.

Tony

[answering the phone] ER. If you're sick, we'll fix you quick.

Tony

[answering the phone] No, there's no Seymour Butts here. Hello, Sarah. Where are you?

Gates

Women: can't live with them, can't shoot them.

Ray

Heard from Gallant?

Neela

Not yet. He got stuck.

Ray

He's still coming home, right?

Neela

Not at the moment.

Ray

Oh, that's cool. [Neela gives Ray a funny look, and he hastily retracts] I mean, too - too bad. But, uh... maybe I can come home now?

Neela

No.

Ray

No?!

Neela

It's actually quite nice without you. That smell hasn't been there since you've been gone.

Ray

But it's my place!

Tony Gates

Got another run, Mayday.

Neela

You can come back on the following conditions: no more dirty dishes in the sink, and no more using the couch as your clothes hamper.

Ray

Didn't I let you move in? [Neela looks at him pointedly] Okay, fine. Done deal. I'm on graveyard, I'll be back in the morning.

Abby

Didn't you used to be ... ?

Gates

A paramedic? Yeah, now I'm an intern.

Pratt

Next week he wants to be a cowboy.

Gates

Astronaut.

Abby

I just don't want to be one of those crazy obsessive mothers who phones their babysitter every hour.

Gates

Mine used to tie me to my high chair. [Abby gives him a look] I'm sure yours is much better.

Gates

Women are weird.

Frank

No, Neela's weird. Indian and Brit, bad combination.

Pratt

[Sees Luka bringing baby Joe to work] Who's this- the new chief of E.R?

Luka

Uh-huh. Training, so I can retire early.

Pratt

Good, we can use some new blood around here.

Gates

I'm new!

Pratt

You're too old to be new, Gates.

Gates

[about the boy Sarah likes] What do you think of this kid?

Seems okay. Polite, kind of quiet.

Gates

All the common traits of a serial killer.

Oh, my God.

Gates

Meg, Sarah, this is Neela.

[in a voice dripping with contempt] How many times do I have to tell you Tony? [pauses] When you leave the glass directly on the wood, it leaves a stain.

[examining the X-ray of a patient] How'd he get an ice pick shoved in his ear?

Gates

Ran out of Q-tips?

Gates

If we have a problem man, just spit it out, 'cause I don't speak bitchy.

Ray

Oh, you seem pretty fluent to me.

Neela

[to Ray and Tony] Why don't you either slap each other silly, or kiss now and get it over with?

You must be that guy who's always riding Uncle Tony. You know, like a bull in heat?

Gates

Shh!

Pratt

So, uh, what else does Uncle Tony say about me?

The rest I'm not allowed to say.

Neela

You called for a consult?

Gates

Actually, I dialed the Hot Surgeons chat line.

Gates

Hey Mayday, how's it going?

Neela

Well, my attending thinks I'm a complete idiot, and Crenshaw's back to being a little bitch.