Jing-Mei Chen quotes from E.R.

Chen

Don't be a hero, get the epidural!

Chen

You give a guy a hand release during Harry Potter and he wants to marry you!

Carter

How's it going in there, Deb?

Chen

I'm stuck.

Carter

Deb?

Chen

Yes?

Carter

Did you use a lubricant?

Chen

Was I supposed to?

Chen

You know, it was pretty cool the way you were giving it mouth-to-mouth.

Carter

Yeah? Thank you.

Chen

You know, they say the dog's mouth is the cleanest part of its body.

Carter

What do they say about its nose?

Chen

Everyone's so old and sick around here.

Carter

Yeah. This is a hospital.

Chen

John, could you please help me with a patient?

Carter

Why, is it a procedure you've already done?

Chen

No. It's a guy who's really drunk, smashed his finger in a car door and he's pawing at me. He also smells terrible.

Carter

And you have a problem with that?

Carter

Yeah, I'm actually pretty surprised to see you around here. I, uh, thought you dropped out of medicine after...

Chen

I almost killed that patient by leaving a guidewire in his chest?

Carter

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up.

Chen

Oh yes you did, John. But that's okay. And let's face it, it was kind of a low point. But it did force me to face the truth. I was being way too aggressive. Way too much of an overachiever. Always trying to show people up.

Carter

Well...

Chen

And way too successful at it. I'd left the patient out of the picture.

Chen

Right pupil is five millimeters and reactive, left is- John! John!

Carter

Deb?

Chen

Look at me. D'you know where you are?

Carter

My back.

Chen

You were stabbed. We've got your pressure up.

Carter

Lucy?

John, I'm officer Bennini, did you see the man that stabbed you?

Chen

Wait, wait, do we need to do this right now?

It's better if I can...

Chen

You'll have to wait, I'm sorry!

Carter

What?

Luka

Nothing, looks like he missed your spinal chord.

Carter

Is that Lucy?

Abby

Yes. She's alive.

Chen

I'm being selfish. I have the money to raise him. There's no reason why I can't.

Carter

There's a couple out there who desperately want to raise a child and you're giving them a great gift.

Chen

What happens eighteen years from now when he shows up looking for an explanation?

Carter

Tell him the truth. You know, tell him that you wanted to provide the best home possible for him.

Chen

Do I tell him I was a coward? That my bigoted parents were more important to me than he was?

Carter

Well, I think that you've got to take your family out of this. Now, if you want to keep the baby, keep the baby. But if you don't, or you can't, then you want to make sure that he goes to somebody that's going to love him, who's going to want him and know that you're not abandoning your baby, you're creating a family.

Chen

John did you discharge Ravis?

Carter

Who?

Chen

22-year-old woman, she was taking birth control pills.

Carter

Yeah, why?

Chen

Weaver took her from me!

Carter

Oh.

Chen

She gave her to you.

Carter

Maybe she thought you were swamped?

Chen

Yeah, more like incompetent.

Carter

She made you Chief Resident, you know, you're the chosen one.

Chen

By default.

Chen

[about Weaver] I thought she was going to protect me. She went to protect herself.

Carter

What did you expect?

Chen

I don't know. It never occurred to me that she had to protect her own ass.

Carter

Maybe your asses aren't mutually exclusive.

Kerry

I want you to know I went on record against this, but the administration...

Chen

Am I being fired, Kerry?

Kerry

No. No, no, of course not. You're on a year's probation and subject to a month's suspension without pay. I argued your case to the best of my ability, but Risk Management feels that given your history they needed to take corrective measures to mitigate any further incidents.

Chen

My history?

Kerry

The guide wire.

Chen

God, you're gonna use that?

Kerry

You'll also have to resign your Chief Residency.

Chen

What?

Kerry

I understand how upsetting this must...

Chen

What about you? Are you going to resign anything?

Kerry

My involvement, or lack thereof, is not at issue.

Chen

Yeah, yeah. You made sure of that.

Kerry

Look, this is only a temporary setback, after which you'll be back on track.

Chen

Were you even wearing your pager that night?

Kerry

This isn't about me. Someone obviously misdialed.

Chen

Yeah, just blame everyone but yourself, Kerry.

Kerry

Look, I'm sorry that this had to happen.

Chen

You are not sorry. Just relieved.

Kerry

Jing-Mei, I...

Chen

Go to hell, Kerry. I quit.

Kerry

You know, eventually this has to stop. This attitude, this resentment you have towards me.

Chen

Does it?

Kerry

We have to work together. I can't allow patient care to be compromised because you don't like me.

Chen

I wouldn't let that happen.

Kerry

Good. Because the last thing I need is a divisive medical staff.

Chen

Then maybe you should quit.

Chen

John, it's obvious you have a thing for older women.

Carter

What?

Chen

Yeah, Weaver, Lewis and, oh, that pediatric surgeon. What was her name?

Carter

And last but not least is the lovely, but sort of spooky, Miss Armstrong in 2, who's waiting on a psych consult before the sewer people come and get her.

Chen

What sewer people?

Carter

She's crazy, Deb. Hence the psych consult.