Kerry Weaver quotes from E.R.

Benton

So, how's it going?

Kerry

My first day here, and I've only upset Doug Ross. That's not too bad, huh?

Benton

You must be losing your touch.

Kerry

So you really think Susan Lewis would make a good chief resident?

Mark

Yes, I do. [Kerry leaves]

Connie

What was that about?

Mark

I think I just sold my soul to the devil.

Kerry

[about the nurses] They can make your life easier or they can make it miserable. Whatever you did, I suggest you apologize immediately.

Carter

I didn't do anything.

Kerry

Apologize anyway.

Kerry

We're talking policy here, people. "Employee X" could be any one of us.

Jeanie

Excuse me. Just would everyone stop calling me "Employee X"? I am HIV-positive.

Kerry

We've missed you around here.

Carol

I've missed it, too. I love my job, Kerry.

Kerry

I know.

Kerry

Your IQ's not 150. Mine's only 145.

Jerry

What am I supposed to do? Apologize because I'm smarter than you?

Kerry

I'm gonna get an IQ test from psych and if you don't score 150, I'm gonna blow the whistle on you, Dr. Markovic.

Kerry

Carol, if you're going to be a med student, you've got to stop thinking like a nurse.

Carol

Well, I'm not a med student yet.

Kerry

Jerry, what are you doing?

Jerry

I saw a mouse by the elevator. Soon to be deceased.

Kerry

Sounds like Heidi.

Doug

You know this mouse?

Mark

I'm an idiot, Kerry. I'm a complete idiot.

Kerry

Was that the detective you were waiting for?

Mark

It wasn't an angry patient. It wasn't a family member of an angry patient. It wasn't Chris Law. It wasn't Mr. Gunther. It wasn't that crazy guy who was yelling about Krishna.

Kerry

They checked everybody out?

Mark

I thought I was remembering it like a puzzle that would come together, but the Chicago Police Department was nice enough to inform me that I am simply the victim of random violence.

Kerry

Well, you knew that, Mark, patient or no patient.

Mark

What I knew is that everything I do, I do because I am not the victim. I treat the victim, I cure the victim, I watch them roll the victim out like a piece of meat, but the truth is, I'm the piece of meat.

Kerry

We can't think about that. We're the ones who see what goes on out there. We know that every day some child won't make it home from school, some father won't make it home from work, but if we allowed ourselves to think that could be us, we couldn't walk out our front door.

Mark

The problem is that is us.

Kerry

No, the problem is, it makes us like everyone else.

Kerry

[to documentary film crew] Sometimes I hesitate with a family before I give the news. I know I'm going to say something that will change their lives forever.

Carol

You think that if you don't say it, it'll be okay for a little while longer.

Doug

I told this one mother that her son had been killed, and she said, 'Is it broken?' I'm looking at her, I don't know what she's saying. I'm just staring at her. So, she said, 'His arm, is it broken? He's pitching tomorrow.' She just walked away.

Kerry

Did you just let her leave like that?

Doug

No, no. I called Carol and had her take care of it. [looks at camera] That's a true story.

Kerry

You don't mind if I step in and take over a little bit?

Praise Allah, no! I don't mind telling you, sometimes I have felt like a sheriff with no posse. Like a general with no grunts in the field. Like a lone shepherd, high up on a hill, with no sheep dog.

Kerry

I completely understand how you feel. You know, I'd like to take -

[interrupting] Everywhere you look, there's sheep, sheep, sheep!

Anna

How did you ever go out with that guy?

Carol

What guy?

Anna

Ross. Didn't you used to date him? I mean, if he's that patronizing to me, I can't imagine what he's like with the women he goes out with.

Carol

He's seen that patient before. Mrs. Landetta is just comfortable with him.

Anna

Yeah, because he's a man.

Carol

Well, some people are old fashioned.

Kerry

Doug has difficultly dealing with strong women.

Carol

I don't know about that.

Kerry

If he can't charm or vilify you, he's lost.

Carol

Now that's not true.

Kerry

[after a drug-addicted woman unknowingly gives birth] I heard about your unexpected delivery.

Carol

Oh, whose version?

Kerry

She's screaming for a lawyer.

Carol

She's high on something. Crack, probably.

Kerry

When she comes down, she might see things differently, but you should fill out an incident report. Document your account.

Carol

Kerry, she's a crack addict. That baby popped out. I did not drop it.

Kerry

Yes, but after your suspension last year, her accusations might carry more weight. Can anyone back you up?

Carol

Mark Greene was there.

Kerry

Good. Make sure you're on the same page.

Kerry

[as Jeanie is leaving work] Good. I'm glad you're still here.

Jeanie

I'm surprised that you are.

Kerry

Jeanie, I had every right to be angry. I went to the mat for you. We had a deal.

Jeanie

I couldn't just stand there and watch him die.

Kerry

You don't know that he would have.

Jeanie

We were losing a pulse. It was worth the risk, Kerry.

Kerry

Jeanie, you made a decision to continue working here and I supported it, but sometimes our decisions affect more than just ourselves.

Jeanie

And in this case, a man is still alive.

Kerry

I appreciate that, but we all agreed you'd work under specific guidelines. You have to stick to them.

Jeanie

I know, I know. But if I had to do it again, I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing. I waited as long as I could to put in that chest tube. I didn't have a choice.

Kerry

He had multiple rib fractures. You could have cut your finger and bled inside his chest.

Jeanie

But I didn't.

Kerry

We agreed you wouldn't put your hands into any poorly visualized cavities.

Jeanie

What was I supposed to do?

Kerry

Walk away.

Jeanie

He would have died.

Kerry

That's the risk you assume for your patients when you continue to work here with HIV.

Carol

Can I have your attention everybody. Hello, can I have your attention please. I have an announcement to make. Can you turn down that music. Okay I have kept this a secret far too long, Doug Ross and I are seeing each other again.... And we are very happy.

Okay, pay up. Pay up.

Chuny

I was a week too late, I thought New Years for sure.

Lydia

I'm surprised that they kept it a secret this long.

Carol

You knew?

Randi

Oh please honey it was obvious.

Kerry

Well, I didn't know.

Anna

Me either.

Doug

Maybe something you guys didn't know, that we've been seeing each other for a while now, again and I think it would be a great idea if she would marry me.

Doug

Everyone talk her into it.

Chuny

Carol and Doug get it right this time.

Carol

You always have to outdo me.

Doug

I had the opportunity and I had to take it.