Kerry Weaver quotes from E.R.

Kerry

Hey, is that Mr. Arteburn's chart?

Jerry

Yeah, yeah. Actually, check this out. Blue Cross. Not the HMO, not the PPO. Traditional indemnity plan gold.

Kerry

Jerry, we treat everyone the same.

Jerry

I'm just thinking about the budget deficit.

Kerry Weaver, meet John DeLeo. Welder, father of five. Never retired, despite crippling arthritis. Outlived three of his kids. Never left Chicago.

Kerry

You know all that about this cadaver?

No. I made it up.

Kerry

The food was terrible. The music stinks. The drinks are watered down, but you sure know how to throw a great party.

Mark

Thank you.

Kerry

You're welcome.

Why are you being such a bitch?

Kerry

Because you are being irresponsible.

More likely because you aren't getting any yourself.

Kerry

[as the baby is coding from a ketamine drip, after discovering Ross and Hathaway working on him] What's going on?

Mark

I found Doug in exam four detoxing this baby.

Kerry

[Furious] What?

Mark

I found him by accident.

Kerry

Carol, did you know about this?

Carol

I was helping him.

Kerry

Helping him?

Carol

The baby was stable...

Kerry

Yeah, this is a violation of every ER policy. Tell them I'll bring him up, set-up with basic too.

Doug

[as they're bringing the baby to the elevator] I'm going up with it too.

Kerry

Yeah, you're damn right. You're going, you're gonna explain this to the hospital administration and the executive committee. Let's go!

Mark

You lied to me, Doug. You looked me right in the eye and lied to me.

Doug

I don't care about your rules.

Kerry

I hope you also don't care about being an ER Pediatric Attending because you've just given up any chance of that.

Kerry

So, I haven't had much of a chance to work with you today. I trust everything is going well?

Lucy

Yes. You know, pretty well for a first day.

Kerry

In other words, it's been completely hateful, huh?

Kerry

You know, I think it's a wise move for you. Great research opportunities in EMS.

Mark

Well, I'm actually more interested in coordinating paramedic care.

Kerry

And for once, you and I would not be in competition. Field work was never my forte.

Mark

You wouldn't want this job, Kerry. There's no money, no power, no glory.

Kerry

Yeah, right. It doesn't fit into my Machiavellian scheme to rule the Emergency Department.

Kerry

I never know how to answer that question about my weaknesses.

Mark

Yeah. Well, I could've helped you out there.

Kerry

[after Carter has incorrectly peeled cucumbers] Why don't you chill the Pinot Grigio?

Carter

In the freezer?

Kerry

Don't quit your day job Carter.

Mark

Coroner's coming over to get the body and do an autopsy. Roger Julian's coming from genetics. He's hopping mad, says Ricky was on his service. Wants to know where the hell the mother got Dilaudid and a PCA machine.

Doug

The boy was dying.

Mark

You promised Kerry and I you wouldn't prescribe any more.

Doug

He was in excruciating pain.

Mark

You promised us yesterday!

Doug

The mother was begging me.

Mark

Where the hell did you get the machine? Genetics didn't prescribe it. I know we didn't.

Doug

I got it from Carol's clinic.

Mark

Come here. [Pulling Ross aside] Carol's clinic doesn't have PCA's.

Doug

She called in a favor. Got it from one of her suppliers.

Mark

The police are on their way to Joi Abbott's house right now. They have a warrant to impound the PCA. Are they going to find anything out of the ordinary?

Doug

Like what?

Mark

Like the machine set to administer enough Dilaudid to kill ten grown men?

Doug

I don't know.

Mark

What do you mean you don't know? You set it.

Doug

This boy was suffering, Mark. He had end-stage ALD. In agony. The mother was watching this child die.

Mark

Did you help him along?

Doug

I gave the mother the entry code. I showed her how to change the dosage. Now, I don't know what she did afterwards. I went to work. And you would have done the exact same thing if you were there.

Kerry

[Interjecting with Greene and Ross] Anspaugh's coming down with Romano and Julian.

Mark

Doug prescribed the PCA machine and the Dilaudid through Carol's clinic.

Kerry

What? When?

Mark

Right after he told us he wouldn't.

Kerry

Uh! We're going to have to tell Anspaugh about Doug violating the pain study protocol and our covering it up. I mean they're going to scrutinize everything he's prescribed, Mark. They're going to interview the mother, it's bound to come out. [to Ross] What the hell's wrong with you? I mean, we trusted you and you immediately chose to betray the trust. I'm done defending you, Doug.

Doug

Defending me? You've been trying to nail me for years.

Kerry

I don't nail colleagues. You want to destroy your own career? That's fine. But you stay the hell away from mine.

You two took it upon yourselves to cover up a serious breach of a federally funded program?

Kerry

We thought it was in the hospital's best interest to keep the incident from becoming public.

Well, it's gonna go public now. And in connection with a high-profile euthanasia case.

Where the hell did Ross get a PCA?

Mark

From the clinic.

God, what a fiasco.

Kerry

What about Ross?

Romano

Take him out back and shoot him.

Kerry

Are there seatbelts on the bus?

Mark

No.

Kerry

We've got airbags in every new car in America, but we're sending our kids off like lambs to the slaughter.

Doug

It's a pedes case.

Kerry

You are off this station! You are not working in this hospital! Not tonight! Now sit down and let Carol look at your head!

Lucy

Dr. Finch, do you always jog to work?

Cleo

It's only four miles.

Kerry

Kind of makes you want to dislike her, doesn't it?