I can name sources. Sophia Loren was once a source.
Characters
Larry DavidLarry David · 173 quotes
Jeff GreeneJeff Garlin · 34 quotes
Cheryl DavidCheryl Hines · 27 quotes
MartyBob Einstein · 12 quotes
Richard LewisRichard Lewis · 11 quotes
Susie GreeneSusie Essman · 11 quotes
LeonJB Smoove · 10 quotes
DinoHarry Hamlin · 3 quotes
JJohn3 quotes
LorettaVivica A. Fox · 3 quotes
WandaWanda Sykes · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Larry David & Jeff Greene (30), Larry David & Cheryl David (24), Larry David & Marty (11)
S1 E1The Pants Tent
[regarding his "bunch-up"] Is it a bad thing? Maybe it's not such a bad thing.
Oh, 'cause you want people to think you constantly have an erection?
[regarding his girlfriend] She reads Wiesel and a lot of things.
She reads Wiesel?
That's right. Not everyone's a moron I go out with.
You know what she should be reading? Emily fucking Post!
[Larry, unaware he is on speakerphone, is asked if he wants to play golf]
I dunno, I'll have to ask Hitler. (Cheryl)
You better call me later on, by sundown.
"By sundown"? What are you, Gary Cooper?
It's always great to see a black entrepreneur, isn't it?
JSJeff's Mom
What?
JSJeff's Dad
What did he just say? What is that supposed to mean?
S1 E2Ted and Mary
Everything is "heaven" with [Ted]. The piece of gum he had; "Oh this is heaven!" Had a taste of a chocolate bar; "I'm in heaven." A parking space is "heaven." It's all "heaven."
I'd like to return this, please.
SWSales woman
What seems to be the problem?
You know, it's kinda of half-jacket, half-shirt; half-man, half-beast.
S1 E3Porno Gil
Maybe we can stop by the store and pick up some Tabasco.
BBrian
Should you be going to the party with your back or, er, can you bend over? Can you bend with your back?
Yeah.
BBrian
Well then maybe you should just bend over and kiss my ass and maybe next time you'll remember to pick up my fucking golf ball.
S1 E4The Bracelet
I can't believe you won't help out a blind man.
I can't believe you said "blind man" in front of a blind man!
S1 E5The Interior Decorator
PAParking Attendant
"The bald guy with the glasses." That's you?
Unfortunately, that's me.
PAParking Attendant
Hey, it's a good look.
S1 E6The Wire
If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.
You try to do something nice, see what happens?
You get screwed.
You do one nice thing in your life. I assume it's the first nice thing you've ever done in your life.
You're so complimentary.
It would put you one up on me, if that's the case. Although, I did, once, try and stop a woman who was about to get hit by a car. I screamed out "Watch out!" and she said "Don't you tell me what to do!"
And that's all it took to for you to stop helping people?
I got out of the "nice" business at that point.
And who knows, you know what? Maybe I'll be able to need a lawyer someday.
Anything could happen.
A lot of people sue me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Curb Your Enthusiasm pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.