Wanda quotes from Curb Your Enthusiasm

Wanda

Why'd you fire the black man?

Larry

I fired the black man... because... he's the guy who set up the whole system here and it doesn't work! And he's here like... every week, I'm givin' him checks, we've got five remotes, I can't turn it on... but I know, you know, a black man can never do anything wrong, at least to get fired from a job! Black people always do everything right!

Wanda

[walks over to TV, pushes button - the TV works] You gotta turn the damn satellite on for the TV to work! See the little green light? Just gotta turn it on! Or you can fire the black man. Whatever works for you.

Larry

Let me ask you a question. You've slept with a lot of white men, a lot of black men, I'm sure? Is there any discernable difference?

Wanda

What?!

Larry

Let me rephrase that! Let me rephrase that!

Wanda

Yeah, rephrase it!

Larry

Uhm, is there any discernable difference between a white man and a black man, you know..[points at his crotch and indicates "size" with his hands]

Wanda

Why would you ask me something like that, Larry?

Larry

My friend wants to know. Why? What's the big deal?

Wanda

I am NOT gonna answer that!

Wanda

You know what's going on.

Larry

Huh?

Wanda

You have a racist dog. The dog hates black people!

Cheryl

Wanda...

Wanda

Larry, you train the dog to hate black people?

Larry

No, I didn't train it to hate black people.

Wanda

Has it barked at any white people?

Cheryl

...No, he's...he's...

Larry

So he hasn't barked at any white people.

Wanda

Exactly. Your dog is racist.

Larry

Sheriff's racist?

Wanda

"Sheriff"? That's a perfect name for a racist dog. Where'd you get this dog: the Klan meeting or something?

Cheryl

Larry picked him out at the pound.

Larry

The pound.

Wanda

Sheriff, the fuckin' dog that eats black people. What the fuck, man? I'll tell you what, y'all stay here, pet your crazy-ass racist dog, but I am not bringing my black ass back up into this fucking "hotel" until y'all get rid of that fucking Klan dog. Gotta Klan dog! Lookin' at me like I'm a damn T-bone!