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SEASON 5

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation · Season 5

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Season 5 quotes

118 quotes · page 4 of 8

S5 E3Harvest

[to April Perez] I bought it the hell we all bought it. But your sister was already dead when you raised that alarm. Her body told us that. There was no sexual assault. The evidence told us that, too. So you didn't think this through, sweetheart. So what are we left with? A false police report and a murdered little girl. So it's one to four for the Amber Alert. And for your sister, life imprisonment if it's an accident, and the needle if it's not.

APApril Perez

I didn't kill Alicia.

But you know, I get it. I get the picture. I mean, your brother's the center of attention. He's sick, he's dying. Your cells don't match. Your parents have Alicia. She's his savior. So, where do you fit in? What are you to this family?

APApril Perez

I'm invisible.

But not anymore you're not. She's dead, and your brother's sick. When he goes...

APApril Perez

That's crazy, okay. I told you, I didn't kill my sister.

I want to believe that. Come on. Help me to believe that. It just means you were in on it because you put on one hell of a show. You still using?

APApril Perez

No.

Maybe we should run your blood just to be sure, huh?

APApril Perez

I use now and then to take the edge off.

So how do you pay for this habit? Are you pimping your sister for drugs, April?

APApril Perez

Why don't you make up your mind? No signs of rape. If I was selling my sister, there would be, wouldn't there?

Depends on who you sold it to. You're not gonna talk your way out of this one. You need to get clean.

APApril Perez

What I need is a lawyer, which means this conversation is over.

SPSybil Perez

[to Catherine about Alicia] You have no idea what it's like.

I saw her medical records. I looked at her x-rays. I know what that little girl suffered, what you put her through.

SPSybil Perez

So you would let your child die and do nothing. Never. No, you'd talk to doctors and research. And then you'd find out that the National Bone Marrow Registry can't help you 'cause your son is mixed race. And even if he wasn't, there aren't enough donors. Out of four million, only 205,000 are Latino. I did what I had to do.

You put one child over another.

SPSybil Perez

[scoffs] I don't expect you to understand. You don't have kids.

Uh, I have a daughter.

SPSybil Perez

So, what kind of mother are you? When do you see her? You work nights. You probably don't even know where she half the time. Alicia's life may not have been simple, but at least I knew her. Can you say the same?

[sees two pill bottles] Daniel Perez is taking oxycodone for pain, and Alicia was on diazepam.

Diazepam? That's a pretty hard-core antidepressant for a kid that small.

I guess they didn't want her complaining while they were mining her body for healthy cells.

[to Carlos Perez] Wasn't Alicia part of your family? You're her father, you dumb bastard! You're supposed to protect her. What kind of man are you?

CPCarlos Perez

Guilty.

S5 E4Crow's Feet

I found ten cc's of urine in her stomach. Digestive system is intact and I found no bruises or abrasions in her mouth. So there's only one way it could've gotten there.

Chug-a-lug.

S5 E5Swap Meet

Nine vibrators, five plugs and four strands of beads.

And a partidge in a pear tree. Some kids are happy playing in the sandbox, others want every toy in the store. And apparently these are dishwasher safe.

I'll swab the nooks and crannies for semen and vaginal secretions and epthelials, but don't get your hopes up.

Oh, my money's on bag number two.

Twenty-six used condoms.

Just like being back in college, right?

Sara said you didn't lose your virginity until you were twenty-two.

Greg [Ignoring her]: Grissom and I figured that they practiced safe sex so we checked their trash. Check them inside and out, please.

I've analyzed condoms before, Greg. Just not in bulk.

(to Greg) Good thing you didn't need to take a spelling test to work the field, funtain water!

My people are Norwegian, that's how we spell it.

(sighs)

So was the funtain water in her lungs?

S5 E6What's Eating Gilbert Grissom?

Griss, this place is crawling with press. They want a statement.

Not now.

Well, if you don't say anything, they're just going to fill in the blanks...

Screw the press, 'cause for all I know, the dead body is an auto mechanic who just painted his house blue.

S5 E7Formalities

I thought you were going to process the scene with Grissom.

I was. He said he had it covered. Sofia Curtis is up there with him.

Right... Ecklie's right hand.

Hmm?

Ever do a case with her?

Uh-uh. Hey, I heard Grissom stuck you with his speech.

A napkin is not a speech.

[Catherine comes in to talk to Greg, who's been reviewing video surveillance tapes for about 8 hours]

Tell me something.

I think my eyes need band-aids.

What are you doing?

I'm going insane, I don't understand this diagram!

(sighs) You don't need a diagram, you need a woman. (Ties Grissom's bow tie) Looking forward to your speech.

S5 E8Ch-Ch-Changes

I thought you'd want to know what happened to Wendy.

MMimosa

I appreciate your telling me. Killed by someone in our own community. As if we don't have enough enemies. Her parents never understood her, but still I think they should know. What do I say?

Show them an oyster.

MMimosa

I'm sorry?

There are two types of male oysters, and one of them can change genders at will. And before man crawled out of the muck, maybe he had the same option. Maybe originally we were supposed to be able to switch genders, and being born with just one sex... is a mutation.

I've never seen junkies shoot up in the face before.

WWoman

It's not smack, it's silicone. Gives you good cheek bones.

MMercedes

The ones who can't buy silicone... shoot motor oil.

Do they?

MMercedes

Calm down, pretty boy. We're not the monsters. The real freaks are the suit-and-ties want to take a walk on the wild side, before sneaking back to the wife and kids. Want to go?

Nick (shakes his head): Mm-mm.

Lepidro. What kind of name is that?

It's from Lepidoptera, meaning "butterfly." Walter Clancy started out a gender-dysmorphic caterpillar and turned into a bloody butterfly.

Love hurts.

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