Hey, I uh talked to the manager. All he said was the renter paid cash and the guy; he seemed pretty normal.
Normal people don't torture people in storage bins.
S5 E8Ch-Ch-Changes
Did you see any transexuals when you danced?
Gil, only civilians confuse strippers and showgirls. You can't cheat the full monty.
Women in convertibles are low-hanging fruit.
And it was a top-down night.
Piano wires. They're used to mobilize the lower part of the abdominal skin and anchor the neo-vagina, so it can heal in place.
I can only imagine those cramps.
The surgeon stuffs the portal with a cylinder wrapped in gauze to hold its shape while it heals, and sutures it.
And how long does milady have to wear a wire?
Well, after five days, the vagina is un-sutured, and the wires are removed.
Aborigines say they dance naked to make the gods happy.
The gods would be happy in Vegas.
MMimosa
(to Grissom) I'm glad you agreed to meet me, can I buy you a drink?
Thanks, but I'm still on the clock.
MMimosa
But you still let me lure you away from the lab. Is that because I'm a beautiful woman? Well, I'm a beautiful woman now.
Beauty's a societal construction.
MMimosa
So is gender, people find out you're empty half and they think you're psycho, Michael Caine with a bad wig and a pair of sunglasses stabbing Angie Dickinson and dressed to kill.
S5 E9Mea Culpa
Are you doing all this for the sake of the lab or to indict Grissom?
Catherine, there a number of talented CSIs, like yourself, who have put in to be supervisors. I just want to make sure the right people are in the right place.
About my request, I really would like to supervise days.
Right. You're a single mother. Better hours. And I bet you could use the extra cash.
No, this promotion isn't about money.
Must be nice to be independently wealthy.
We're done here, right?
Yeah.
S5 E10No Humans Involved
Taking your pet for a walk?
I know how much you like my little fetal pig, so I'm giving him to you as an office-warming gift.
That is so thoughtful. Now tell me why you really stopped by. You checking up on me?
No.
What've you heard? Who talked to you?
See? You've only been on the job a week and you're already paranoid.
[laughs] When I was your right hand and your left, I always knew if it hit the fan, you'd be the one to get dirty.
Hey, that's the job.
Yeah, that's the job. Did you ever play politics?
I once ran for president of science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out by one vote.
I'm going to guess that you didn't vote for yourself.
I'm not any good at politics. It cost me, that's how I lost Nick and Warrick.
Your loss, my gain.
Yeah, and at least I know that they're in good hands.
(to Greg after a shooting at the crime scene) You okay?
No, I'm not okay! Who the hell's shooting at us?
I don't know, but I think our single just turned into a triple.
S5 E11Who Shot Sherlock
Deerstalker cap, violin, Meerschaum pipe, even a Persian slipper with tobacco stuffed in the toe, I imagine. All in all, meticulous recreation of 221-B Baker Street: residence of the world's greatest detective, Sherlock Holmes.
Also known as Dennis Kingsley, delivery guy. What do you think?
Ask Greg. It's his case. It's his final proficiency test. Emphasis in the "final".
Okay, Dr. Watson, run it.
SHSherlock Holmes Man
So you actually think this is something other than suicide?
You know, I think you gotta drop the accent!
SHSherlock Holmes Man
I can't! I'm English!
Oh!
So, are you going to say, "the game's afoot"?
I didn't know you were a Conan Doyle fan, Greg.
I'm not. I saw a Sherlock Homes movie once by mistake.
Well just so you know, those movies never ended like this.
Why the elaborate frame-up of Watson? He had as much to lose as you.
KMKay Marquette
Because he's the one that told Denny to give it all up and go back to his family. Because he's the one that wanted to be Sherlock Holmes, because he didn't care what it was doing to me. You see, Detective... [switching to a British accent] Denny would have wanted his murder to be the perfect puzzle. A mystery worthy of the master.
S5 E12Snakes
[looking at a university degree on the deceased's wall]
Gang-banger girlfriend with a degree?
Sounds like a rock band.
Detective Jim Brass.
Congratulations Jim Brass, you are guaranteed one of these five amazing awards!
Warrick?
A trip to London, a brand new Caddy, tennis bracelet, plasma TV, water purification system, you finally did it Jim, just send NZA a cheque for $300 and claim your prize.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.