“Ruby Reborn” quotes from Corner Gas

Brent

Want me to fill it up?

Sure. You know, I've never driven across Saskatchewan before.

Brent

Well, you still haven't, really. About halfway to go yet.

Sure is flat.

Brent

How do you mean?

You know, flat. Nothing to see.

Brent

What do you mean, like topographically? Hey Hank, this guy says Saskatchewan is flat.

Hank

How do you mean?

Brent

Topographically, I guess. He says there's nothin' to see.

Hank

There's lots to see. There's nothin' to block your view.

Brent

There's lots to see. Nothin' to block your view. Like the mountains back there. They're uh … Well, what the hell? I could've sworn there was a big mountain range back there. Juttin' up into the sky all purple and majestic. I must be thinkin' of a postcard I saw or somethin'. Hey, it is kinda flat, thanks for pointin' that out.

You guys always this sarcastic?

Brent

Nothin' else to do.

Hank

There's freaky abstract art on the walls, and she put these weird cloths on the table.

Brent

Yeah.

Hank

It's too much. She's turned the coffee shop into a gay bar.

Oscar

Who is?!

Hank

Oh yeah, well, I got two words for ya. Boycott! I'm gonna put this place outta business.

Brent

Hank if you had the power to put companies outta business by just not being a customer, why am I still able to buy mouthwash?

Wanda

Yeah and deodorant?

Emma

Clean underwear.

Brent

Books.

Wanda

Pants that fit.

Emma

Nail clippers.

Brent

Dandruff shampoo.

Wanda

Uummm...dental floss.

Emma

Toilet paper.

Oscar

Pickup trucks.

Emma

[groans]

Brent

You don't know what we're doing, do you, Dad?

Oscar

Shut up.

Lacey

I mean, come on, a boycott? Look, I'm not clubbing baby seals and I'm not using Honduran children to make sneakers.

Hank

You could be clubbing baby seals with Honduran children; I don't care about that!

Oscar

[to Emma] Your son is turning the gas station into a movie theatre!

Brent

Bear in mind that Dad has a tendency to overstate things.

Oscar

I have never overstated a single thing in the history of the planet!

Brent

Well, you're not in Toronto anymore, Lacey, with your grande-mocha-dappo-loppa-frappochinos! This is Saskatchewan! Tommy Douglas fought the federal government for free refills on coffee.

Hank

Jeez! Next time why don't you just throw a snake at me!

It's not pink... it's dusty rose.