Cheers · Season 8
Rebecca and Robin started making out in the back of the limo. So I offered to do the gentlemanly thing.
What's that?
Let them dump me out on the railroad tracks.
Oh man. That Colcord is a real jerk.
Yeah, he just pulled over and let me out.
He stopped the car? So what are you whining about?
Robin, I need a one woman man.
And I am a one woman man. It's just that I'm still looking for the one woman.
[Rebecca's] taken to replacing the beer nuts to these little candy hearts that say "Hold me," "I'm yours," "Lovey dovey." Hey "Free beer."
Oh no Mr. Peterson, you fooled me once.
Hey Sam, can I ask you something?
Another etiquette question?
Yeah last one. What do I do if Kelly's mom tries to go to bed with me?
Kelly's mom? I'm shocked and more than a little impressed.
Well I have to say the mechanical bull is like the most useless thing put in a bar.
Now, Norm.
Present company excepted.
All right now, everyone pay attention. I have an announcement to make and I only have a minute.
Why? You're in a hurry?
No, I was referring to your relatively short attention spans.
I'm just going to the men's room to check my hair.
I already checked. It's not in there.
What about a friendly game of pool?
No, I never like to nail a guy twice in one afternoon.
You haven't lived.
You know it just isn't fair. I came because I wanted to be one of the guys and all I'm doing is sitting on my duff watching other people do things.
Welcome to NormWorld. Keep your hands inside the car at all times.
Dr. Crane says if I can get undressed a little at a time in a place where I feel safe and secure pretty soon I can get naked anywhere.
Makin' progress huh Wood?
[now shirtless] You bet. I'm still scared, cold, and self-conscience. That's all I'll get out of it. But I did pick up an extra $50 in tips.
So, tonight, when I got out in front of that audience, I ripped off every stitch of clothing. I looked around and I thought, "Why am I the only one who's naked?"
Well, maybe nobody noticed, Wood.
Oh, they noticed, Sam.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I heard this high-pitched scream from the audience, "Hey, look! He's the only one who's naked!"
Sorry, Woody. It took me by surprise.
What are you up to Norm?
My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall.
Gary's just playing with us, like a rat and mouse.
That's cat and mouse, Woody.
Sam, a cat and mouse don't play together. They're mortal enemies. They don't even know the same games. Think before you speak, Sam.
Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson.
You mean nice cold beer going down Mr. Peterson.
Sorry. No suds tonight, Norm. You are still our designated driver, remember?
I know that. You know that. But did you have to call every bar in town and tell them?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
