Lazlo quotes from Camp Lazlo

Edward

[seeing that Veronica was gone] NO!

Lazlo

YES!

Edward

Oh, and Lazlo?

Lazlo

Yes, Edward?

Edward

Than...clean up this mess, you loser!

Lazlo

Do you see what I see?

Raj

A giant drop of rain fallen straight for us!

Clam

Splash!

Raj

The scoutmaster has granted our... [as the object falls closer and closer] ...that's NO RAINDROP!

LOOK OUT!

Lazlo

Scoutmaster Lumpus, I think I broke my leg!

Lumpus

We'll cut it off later!

Raj

Scoutmaster Lumpus, I need some advice.

Lumpus

Here's some advice, cut the funny accent. [Clam is about to say something] Press it!

Lumpus

Today, we take part in the time-honored tradition of placing relics of today into time capsules to be opened by future generations of tomorrow. What do you got?

[holding an alarm clock] Time for the time capsule! [places it in the capsule]

Lumpus

Next! [screams when he sees Wilbert with big red lips] Bee sting?!

[removes the lips, revealing they were actually wax lips] Wax lips.

Lumpus

[smacks his forehead and groans] Next!

We're ready!

Chip

For the future!

Lumpus

Next.

Lazlo

[arrives] Hey, Scoutmaster Lumpus.

Lumpus

What is it, kid?

Lazlo

Did you have a time capsule back when you went to Camp Kidney?

Lumpus

[flatly] Mmm-hmm.

Lazlo

Wow! So what did you put in it?

Lumpus

My youth.

Lazlo

How 'bout you, Slinkman?

Raj

What did you put in it?

Clam

Slinkman put in?

Edward

Our own sub?

Lazlo

Here you go. [hands Edward a sub sandwich]

Edward

Submarine sandwiches. Ooh, I'm losing with pride.

Lazlo

Hey, it's Samson.

Samson

Yes, it's Samson, so nice of you to remember! [cries]

Ping Pong

No problem, roomie.

Samson

[agitated] I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!

Lazlo

Edward! I'm sorry I got this all wrong, buddy!

Edward

Wait, don't go! I don't wanna get eaten! [clings to Slinkman; crying] My final moments are going to be spent in the mouths of pink-cheeked, bearded, miniature mutants, who inspired hideous lawn ornaments!

Lazlo

By the wondrous Leaky waters,

Samson

And Great Mount White Head,

Stands the pretty good Camp Kidney,

Not the cleanest, not the smartest,

Raj

Not the best are we,

Clam

But!

Proud to be the second best camp,

Here on Lake Leaky!

Lazlo

Here you go pal, use my neckerchief. I won't need it anymore.

Raj

Lazlo, there is something written on the inside of your neckerchief.

Lazlo

Oh yeah, that was there...when I first got it.

Raj

Let me take to my heart, Camp Kidney, a wonderland where summer runs free...

Lazlo

...where I laughed and I played while my good parents paid to let their child come of age and be me.

Raj

[laughs] Steaming saffron! Who wrote that hokey baloony!?

[crying] I did.

Lazlo

Samson, what are you doing in there?

Samson

Hiding from the Squirrel Scouts! Please let me stay! I beg you!

Lazlo

Why are you hiding from the Squirrel Scouts?

Samson

[holds up the "Dreamboat" magazine] They think I look like some hunky heartthrob named Hanly Manster.

Lazlo

[looks closely at the magazine] Hanly Manster?

Samson

Oh, now you've done it!

Lazlo

Samson, you can't hide in there forever. What will you eat?

Samson

Potato salad?

Lazlo

[pulls Samson out of the tray] Come on, you. We'll help you figure a way out of this mess.

Raj

No matter where we hide, the Squirrel Scouts always find us!

Lazlo

They won't find us in here, Raj.

Raj

[gasps fearfully when he hears a squealing sound, believing it's them] (Oh, no!) Here they come!

Samson

That's just my deviated septum. It's not so loud if I breathe through my mouth.

Lazlo

[as Raj and Clam crawl out from under the cabin] Raj? Clam? You slipped the magazine under the door.

Raj

Guilty. It's amazing what you can do with tape, scissors, and a picture of Edward. [holds up the new issue of "Dreamboat" with a picture of Edward tapped on it]

Edward

[off-screen, while the Squirrel Scouts chase him down] NO!!!!

Lazlo

Whoa! Poor Edward.

Samson

I'd hate to be that guy.

A question; What's 20 billion times katillion?

Skip

480 lumpillion.

Wow!

Ping-Pong

Tell me, how many tubes of toothpaste will I use in a lifetime?

Chip

You haven't finished your first one.

Ping-Pong

They're totally right! [his tooth falls out]

Lazlo

Professors, in your educated opinion, do you believe our sun will be a future habitat for Lava People

Skip

Well, actually Lazlo, in five billion years, our sun will be a Red Giant, engulfing three planets in our solar system, after which it will go supernova.

Lazlo

Well, I guess that leaves more for us then.

Raj

Um...I think I'm late for my yoga lesson, Lazlo.

Clam

Yoga.

Lazlo

Oh well, I will save them some.