That's not it. It's just... You belong at-at a good old-fashioned college with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires.
Not really seeing the distinction.
S3Lovers Walk
She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a Chaos demon! Have you ever seen a Chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting... She only did it to hurt me. So I said, "I'm not putting up with this anymore." And she said, "Fine!" And I said, "Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!" And then she said... she said we could still be friends. [leans over and sobs on Willow's shoulder.] God, I'm so unhappy!
[tentatively pats his knee.] There, there.
The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back to making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, yeah, you're just friends.
That's right.
You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
Oh, sod the spell. Your friends are at the factory. [Buffy looks at Angel, he shrugs] I'm really glad I came here, you know. I've been all wrong-headed about this: weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man that I was - the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her - wherever she is - tie her up, torture her, 'til she likes me again. [grins happily, makes to leave. Turns, whimsical.] Love's a funny thing.
This is a nightmare. This is... my world is spinning.
It's not that bad, Willow, really.
740? Verbal? I'm-I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
That's right. And the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot.
I just... where did I go wrong?
You did amazing, Willow. As usual.
You guys get you scores?
Cordelia! Willow is very sad about her academic failure. How did you do? This is not good.
What's not good?
Well, I'm just worried it may hurt my standing as campus stud when people find out I'm dating a brain.
Please. I have some experience in covering these things up.
Well, I can see why you'd be upset. That was my sarcastic voice.
You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
I've been told that. But we should celebrate, do something.
Like, the four of us?
A double date! It could have potential.
Buffy! Hey, did you get your S.A.T. Scores?
By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are going to be manning the drive-through window side by side.
They're just test scores, right? What do they really mean, anyway?
1430! Buffy, you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited.
Buff, that's amazing.
Let me see that.
Yeah. With scores like that, you can apply pretty much anywhere you want.
Buffy, this could, like, change your whole future.
The though had occurred to me.
Then why the sour puss?
I don't know. I guess... my future. I never really thought about it. I wasn't even sure I was going to have one.
Well, I think this is great. Now you can leave and never come back! Well, I mean that in a possible way. Get out of Sunnydale. That's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever want to come back here?
Carnegie-Melon has a wonderful design curriculums. Oh, and Brown University's history program is... You like history, right?
Could we talk about this another time? All day it's been like, "Congratulations!" "Go away."
That's not it. It's just... you belong at-at a good old-fashioned college with-with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires.
Not really seeing the distinction.
No, you're always talking about how you wish you could lead a more normal life. Well, this is your chance.
Yeah, it's just not that simple. I have responsibilities.
I know, I know, but I spoke with Mr. Giles, and he said--
That Faith could be Miss Sunnydale in the slayer pageant. I know.
It's time to think about your future, Buffy, about your whole life. I mean, honestly, is there anything keeping you here?
S3The Wish
No luck reaching Cordelia?
I've left a few messages. Sixty, seventy... but you know what really bugs me? [to Willow] OK, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss.
Darn tootin'!
And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.
Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Mine is much more advanced.
[about Willow and Xander] No, no, no way! I wish us into Bizarro-land and you guys are still together? I cannot win!
VXVamp Xander
Probably not, [changes to vampire face] but I'll give you a head start.
Hmm, Buffy. Oooh. Scary.
VXVamp Xander
Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.
Cordelia Chase. What did she wish for?
AAnyanka
I had no idea her wish would be so exciting! 'Brave new world.' I hope she likes it.
You're gonna change it back. I'm not afraid of you. Your only power lies in the wishing.
AAnyanka
Wrong! This is the real world now. This is the world we made. Isn't it wonderful?
[Giles snatches her glowing necklace and breaks free of her grasp, then grabbing a heavy object from his desk, raises his arm to smash the amulet.]
AAnyanka
You trusting fool. How do you know the other world is any better than this?
Because it has to be.
I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale!
AAnya
Done! [nothing happens, Anya is confused]
No! I wish Buffy Summers had never been born! That would be cool!
AAnya
Done! [again nothing happens]
And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair.
AAnya
Done!
In fact, I wish all men except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind disappear off the face of the earth. That would be so cool! Or maybe...
[choking and grunting] Nnrrf! Nnrrf!
Oh, God. Demon, demon. What kills a demon?!
[choking and grunting] Nnrrf! Nnrrf!
Oh, nerf. Not nerf. Knife!
Okay. That was too close for comfort. Not that slaying's ever comfy, but, you know what I mean? [sighs] If you guys hadn't been here to help...
But we were. And we did. And-and we're all fine. [sighs] Isn't he gonna go poof?
Um, I guess these guys don't. We'll have to bury him or something. [groans] Makes you appreciate vamps though. No fuss, no muss.
So how come Faith was a no-show? I thought mucus-y demons were her favorites.
Couldn't reach her. Again. She hasn't been hanging out much.
I detect worry.
A little bit. Slaying's a rough gig. Too much alone time isn't healthy. Stuff gets pent up.
We should try to do more socializing with her.
Well, burial detail aside, does this cap us off for the day?
You got plans?
I cannot stress enough how much I don't have plans.
No luck reaching Cordelia?
I've left a few messages. 60. 70. But you know what really bugs me? [to Willow] Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss.
Darn tootin'!
And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.
Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Mine is much more advanced.
At least tomorrow's Monday, another school day.
Well. that's good. You know, focus on school. That's the strong Willow way to heal.
Actually, I was more thinking Oz will be there, and I can beg for forgiveness.
That works, too.
I-I wanna be strong Willow. But then I think I may never get to be close to Oz again, and it's like all the air just goes out of the room.
I know the feeling.
Right. I mean, you went through it with Angel, and you're still standing. So tell us, wise one, how do you deal?
I have you guys.
Buffy Summers. That's when all my trouble started. When she moved here.
AAnya
You okay?
Oh, I just pulled some stitches last night. Know why? Surprise. It was Buffy's fault.
Oh, hey, it's Garbage Girl. Loved the look last night, Cor. Dumpster chic for the dumped.
GGirl
[chuckles] Yeah. [chuckling] Oh, God.
AAnya
Here. I think you need this more than I do right now.
Yeah, I could use some luck. And a stick with pointy, sharp bits. If that Buffy wasn't, I swear.
AAnya
She's a pain. But Xander, he's an... utter loser. Don't you wish...
I never would've looked twice at Xander if Buffy hadn't made him marginally cooler by hanging with him.
AAnya
Really?
Yeah, I swear. I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale. [gasps]
AAnyanka
Done.
[reading] "In order to defeat Anyanka, one must destroy her power center. This should reverse all the wishes she's granted rendering her mortal and powerless again." You see? Without her power center, she-she'd j-just be a-a-an ordinary woman again. And all this would be, um... well, different... Well, I'd say that my... my Watcher muscles haven't completely atrophied after all.
[sarcastic] Great. What's her power center?
[checks the book] Um, well, um, uh... It doesn't say.
Why don't I just put a stake through her heart?
She's not a vampire.
Well, you'd be surprised how many things that'll kill.
I don't want to kill her, Miss Summers. I want to reverse whatever effect she's had on this-this world.
[sighs] You're taking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves.
Giles.
Kill the bad fairy, destroy the bad fairy's power center, whatever... and all the troubles go away?
S3Amends
So, you doing anything special?
Tree, nog, roast beast. Just me and Mom, and hopefully an excess of gifts. [to Willow] What are you doing for Christmas?
Being Jewish. Remember, people? Not everyone worships Santa.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.