I'm pathetic, illiterate. I'm Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
That's right, and the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined score in no way compromises your position as the village idiot.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 3
“Lovers Walk” · Season 3
In this episode: Buffy Summers (4), Willow Rosenberg (3), Spike (3), Xander Harris (2), Joyce Summers (2), Cordelia Chase (1), Angel (1), Oz (1)
I'm pathetic, illiterate. I'm Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
That's right, and the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined score in no way compromises your position as the village idiot.
That's not it. It's just... You belong at-at a good old-fashioned college with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires.
Not really seeing the distinction.
She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a Chaos demon! Have you ever seen a Chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting... She only did it to hurt me. So I said, "I'm not putting up with this anymore." And she said, "Fine!" And I said, "Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!" And then she said... she said we could still be friends. [leans over and sobs on Willow's shoulder.] God, I'm so unhappy!
[tentatively pats his knee.] There, there.
The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back to making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, yeah, you're just friends.
That's right.
You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
Oh, sod the spell. Your friends are at the factory. [Buffy looks at Angel, he shrugs] I'm really glad I came here, you know. I've been all wrong-headed about this: weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man that I was - the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her - wherever she is - tie her up, torture her, 'til she likes me again. [grins happily, makes to leave. Turns, whimsical.] Love's a funny thing.
This is a nightmare. This is... my world is spinning.
It's not that bad, Willow, really.
740? Verbal? I'm-I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
That's right. And the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot.
I just... where did I go wrong?
You did amazing, Willow. As usual.
You guys get you scores?
Cordelia! Willow is very sad about her academic failure. How did you do? This is not good.
What's not good?
Well, I'm just worried it may hurt my standing as campus stud when people find out I'm dating a brain.
Please. I have some experience in covering these things up.
Well, I can see why you'd be upset. That was my sarcastic voice.
You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
I've been told that. But we should celebrate, do something.
Like, the four of us?
A double date! It could have potential.
Buffy! Hey, did you get your S.A.T. Scores?
By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are going to be manning the drive-through window side by side.
They're just test scores, right? What do they really mean, anyway?
1430! Buffy, you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited.
Buff, that's amazing.
Let me see that.
Yeah. With scores like that, you can apply pretty much anywhere you want.
Buffy, this could, like, change your whole future.
The though had occurred to me.
Then why the sour puss?
I don't know. I guess... my future. I never really thought about it. I wasn't even sure I was going to have one.
Well, I think this is great. Now you can leave and never come back! Well, I mean that in a possible way. Get out of Sunnydale. That's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever want to come back here?
Carnegie-Melon has a wonderful design curriculums. Oh, and Brown University's history program is... You like history, right?
Could we talk about this another time? All day it's been like, "Congratulations!" "Go away."
That's not it. It's just... you belong at-at a good old-fashioned college with-with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires.
Not really seeing the distinction.
No, you're always talking about how you wish you could lead a more normal life. Well, this is your chance.
Yeah, it's just not that simple. I have responsibilities.
I know, I know, but I spoke with Mr. Giles, and he said--
That Faith could be Miss Sunnydale in the slayer pageant. I know.
It's time to think about your future, Buffy, about your whole life. I mean, honestly, is there anything keeping you here?
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