Harmony Kendall quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Cordelia

Harmony, shut up. [Xander looks back] Do you know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep.

Harmony

I'm not a sheep.

Cordelia

You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? [Xander smiles] I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is. [Xander stops smiling]

Cordelia

Buffy Summers. That's when all my trouble started. When she moved here.

You okay?

Cordelia

Oh, I just pulled some stitches last night. Know why? Surprise. It was Buffy's fault.

Harmony

Oh, hey, it's Garbage Girl. Loved the look last night, Cor. Dumpster chic for the dumped.

[chuckles] Yeah. [chuckling] Oh, God.

Here. I think you need this more than I do right now.

Cordelia

Yeah, I could use some luck. And a stick with pointy, sharp bits. If that Buffy wasn't, I swear.

She's a pain. But Xander, he's an... utter loser. Don't you wish...

Cordelia

I never would've looked twice at Xander if Buffy hadn't made him marginally cooler by hanging with him.

Really?

Cordelia

Yeah, I swear. I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale. [gasps]

Done.

Buffy

What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?

Spike

Maybe I dumped her!

Harmony

She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days.

Spike

Harm!

Harmony

Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?

Spike

No.

Harmony

Can I make him a vampire?

Spike

No. [Beat] Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well.

Spike

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn she's there! That nasty little face, that bouncing shampoo-commercial hair, that whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude.

Harmony

Well, aren't we unholy by definition?

Spike

She follows me, you know, tracks me down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike around the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout o' torture! [Spike throws a lapid and break it]

Harmony

Spike?!

[To Harmony] You can't smoke in here

Harmony

[Holding a Crossbow] Oh yeah, says who? [Doctor points to a "No Smoking" sign] Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see the sign.

Harmony

Who is-? Oh wait, I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning, now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Drudzilla.

Spike

Harm-

Harmony

You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking, because my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl, or Charlize Theron.

Spike

Harm, you moron, this is Drusilla.

Harmony

You have got some nerve coming back here after breaking my Boo-Boo's heart.

Drusilla

[Mouths to Spike] Boo-Boo?