Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music's stopped and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?
Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything that I could ever do to...
Do you mind? We're talking here.
(Cordelia is taken aback, rolls her eyes and leaves.)
Wondering why we never get dates.
Yeah, so why do you think that is?
Come on, Stephan. Rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting.
Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or yodel.
I heard you were on the hunt.
I'm supposed to be, but, lazybones here doesn't want to come out and play.
When you first wake up, it's a little disorienting. He'll show.
It's weird to think of you going through that.
It's weird to go through. So, uh, you're here alone?
I just though you'd have somebody with you. Xander or someone.
No. Why? Are you jealous?
[chuckles] Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Is it 'cause I danced with him?
"Danced with" is a pretty loose term. "Made it with" might be a little closer.
Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way, behold my success.
You're not jealous. What, vampires don't get jealous?
See? Whenever we fight, you always bring up the vampire thing.
Well, I didn't come here to fight. [grunts] Oh, right. I did.
[Buffy and Angel fights Stephan]
Where's my stake? I know I had a stake.
I didn't see your stake. [grunting]
What do you mean, "He's just a kid"? Does that mean I'm just a kid, too?
Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight.
Oh, no, you don't. You can't just turn and walk away from me like that. It takes more than that to get rid of me. [grunts] Oh. Ow.
I'm fine. Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this.
Another vampire has risen tonight.
I don't think so. Look at those tracks. Whoever was buried here didn't rise from this grave. She was dragged from it.
God, the whole thing was so creepy. At the same time, I mean, he did do it all for his brother.
Sounds like he took it a little over the edge.
Love makes you do the wacky.
Oh. Crazy, like a 241-year-old being jealous of a high school junior?
I thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little.
Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals. Hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight.
I don't look that good in direct light.
I should probably go. I could walk you home.
BUBig Ugly
This weekend, the night of St. Vigeous, our power shall be at its peak. When I kill her, it'll be the greatest event since the crucifixion. And I should know. I was there.
You were there? Please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion actually was there, it would've been like Woodstock.
BUBig Ugly
I oughta rip your throat out.
I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and then I spent the next six hours watching my hand move.
[Big Ugly rushes Spike, who punches him out without even looking]
[to Collin] So, who do you kill for fun around here?
Spike. You're that Anointed guy. I read about you. You've got Slayer problems. That's a bad piece of luck. Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them.
[glancing at Big Ugly] A lot faster than nancy-boy there. Yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag... [scoffs] Who am I kidding? I love to brag!
We were at the Bronze before. Thought you said you might show.
You said you weren't sure if you were going.
I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?
Wow. Two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still like 400 dates with 400 different... [Awkward beat.] Why do they call it a mace?
I taught you to always guard your perimeter. [tuts.] You should have someone out there.
I did. I'm surrounded by idiots. What's new with you?
Yeah. Come up against this slayer yet?
She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave her the puppy dog "I'm all tortured" act. Keeps her off my back when I feed.
People still fall for that Anne Rice routine? What a world!
[to Angel] I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy.
[holding a pole] Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a nice ripe [turns to see Buffy, holding an axe] ...girl.
Do we really need weapons for this?
I just like them, they make me feel all manly.
[They both drop their weapons]
The last Slayer I killed - she begged for her life. You don't strike me as the begging kind.
You shouldn't have come here.
No. I've messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored. I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you, I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit.
No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot.
It was close, baby, but--
[sighs] A Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.
You'll kill her. And then we'll have a nice celebration.
Yeah, with streamers, and songs.
He's doesn't want to play.
[snorts] Figures. Well, suppose I better go make nice.
AOThe Anointed One
You failed.
I, um... I offer penance.
Penance?! You should lay down your life! Our numbers are depleted. The feast of St. Vigeous has been ruined by your impatience!
I was rash... and if I had to do it all over again. [laughing] Who am I kidding? I would do it, exactly the same. Only I'd do this first!
From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual, and a little more fun around here.
AOThe Anointed One
[screaming]
DMDevon MacLeish
What does a girl have to do to impress you?
Well, it involves a feather boa and the theme to A Summer Place. I can't discuss it here.
DDevon
You're too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could have? You're lead guitar, Oz. It's currency!
I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.
DDevon
She doesn't have to talk.
You are always thinking of others before yourself. You remind me of someone from very long ago. The Inca Princess.
They told her that she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the nether world. Out of all the girls in her generation... she was the only one... chosen. Do you know the story?
She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others?
Okay, I have something to tell you. And it's kind of a secret, and it's, um, a little bit scary. I like you. A lot. And I want you to go to with me the dance.
[laughs] Why was that so scary?
Well, because you never know if a girl's gonna say 'yes', or if... she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.
Hmm. Then you are very courageous.
I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world, ever.
Ampata wasn't evil. At least not to begin with, and... I-I do think she cared about you.
Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people thing would have been a strain on the relationship.
She was gypped. She was just a girl, and she had her life taken away from her. I remember how I felt when I heard the prophecy that I was gonna die. I wasn't exactly obsessed with doing the right thing.
Yeah, but you did. You gave up your life.
I had you to bring me back.
