Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2 quotes

Ampata

Buffy, I do not have any lipstick.

Buffy

Oh, you can borrow one of mine. There should be some on the desk.

Ampata

What is that?

Buffy

The station sent the rest of your stuff.

Ampata

Oh, of-of course. I-I forgot all about it. I will unpack it later.

Buffy

No worries. I can do it.

Ampata

But you must get ready for the dance.

Buffy

I'm not going.

Ampata

Why not?

Buffy

I have work to do, Crime Club work. It's really nothing for you to worry about.

Ampata

Oh, I am not worried, thanks to Xander.

Buffy

He seems very happy around you.

Ampata

I am happy, too. Mmm, this one?

Buffy

Oh, no, that clashes. There should be a gold one in there somewhere.

Ampata

Thank you. You're always thinking of others before yourself. You remind me of someone from very long ago, the Inca Princess.

Buffy

Cool. A princess.

Ampata

They told her that she was the only one, that only she could defend her people from the netherworld. Out of all the girls in her generation, she was the only one--

Buffy

Chosen.

Ampata

You know the story?

Buffy

It's fairly familiar.

Ampata

She was 16, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others? What chance at love?

Buffy

Who knows? I'll just unpack the rest of your stuff for you.

Ampata

No, really, let me.

Buffy

Oh! That's Xander and Willow. I'll get it.

Angel

I knew this was gonna happen.

Buffy

What? What do you think is happening?

Angel

You're 16 years old, I'm 241.

Buffy

I've done the math.

Angel

You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want.

Buffy

Oh, no, I, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.

Angel

Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.

Buffy

One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?

Angel

I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.

Buffy

Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?

Angel

[grabs her roughly] This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.

Buffy

No. When you kiss me I want to die.

Buffy

Well, say it.

Xander

I'm not gonna say it.

Willow

You lied to Giles.

Xander

'Cause she will.

Buffy

I wasn't lying. I was just... protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to... digest properly.

Xander

Like a corn dog.

Willow

Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.

Xander

Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?

Buffy

There's no orgies!

Buffy

Angel barely says two words to me.

Xander

Don't you hate that?

Buffy

And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.

Xander

That bastard!

Buffy

You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.

Xander

Yeah! (pause) Tom? Who's Tom?

Willow

The frat guy.

Xander

Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan, fire? You know what I'm sayin'?

Giles

She lied to me?

Willow

Well...

Angel

Did... she have a date?

Willow

(to Angel) Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?? [Awkward beat.] Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've got to help Buffy.

Buffy

I told one lie, I had one drink.

Giles

Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture.

Cordelia

You did it. You saved us. I've never been so happy to see anyone in my whole. You guys. I just... hate you guys. The weirdest things always happen when you around. And you, you're going to jail for 15,000 years.

Buffy

I told one lie. I had one drink.

Giles

Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture.

Buffy

I'm sorry.

Giles

So am I. I... I drive you too hard because I know what you have to face. From now on, no-no more pushing, no more prodding. Just, um, an inordinate amount of nudging.

Willow

It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher Diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.

Buffy

Yeah. It's too bad. That stuff is private.

Willow

Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.

Buffy

Most importantly, it would be wrong.

Buffy

Angel's a vampire, I thought you knew.

Cordelia

Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.

Willow

It's true.

Cordelia

You know what I think? I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer.

Buffy

It's just ... You're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding! You're missing the whole point of Halloween.

Willow

Free candy?

Buffy

It's "come as you aren't" night! The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild, with no repercussions.

Willow

Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz.

Drusilla

Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?

Spike

Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.

Buffy

Ta da. Just little old 20th-century me.

Angel

Sure you're okay?

Buffy

I'll live.

Angel

I don't get it, Buffy. Why'd you think I'd like you better dressed that way?

Buffy

I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.

Angel

Oh, ho.

Buffy

What?

Angel

I hated the girls back then. Especially the noblewomen.

Buffy

You did.

Angel

They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone ... exciting. Interesting.

Buffy

Really? Interesting how?

Angel

You know how.

Buffy

Still, I had a really hard day. You should probably tell me.

Angel

You're right. I should.

Buffy

Definitely.

Cordelia

I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie-Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed ...

Xander

I think you mean oppressed.

Cordelia

Whatever. They were cranky. So they're like, "Let's lose some heads." Uh! That's fair. And Marie-Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake!

Willow

Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?

Angel

Are you going to tell me that I'm jealous?

Willow

Well, you do sometimes get that way.

Angel

You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty ... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.

Angel

He left no paper trail. That's incriminating enough.

Xander

I'm going to have to go with Deadboy on this one.

Angel

Could ya not call me that?