Spike quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spike

I was going to go inside but I overheard you and the superfriends having a special moment and I came over a bit queasy. Say, aren't you leaving a hole in the middle of some soggy group hug?

Buffy

I just wanted a little time alone.

Spike

Oh, uh... Right then. [goes to leave]

Buffy

It's okay, I can be alone with you here.

Spike

Well, I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment.

Buffy

[looking down] I was happy.

Buffy

Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time ... didn't mean anything ... nothing had form ... but I was still me, you know? And I was warm ... and I was loved ... and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or ... any of it, really ... but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not. [near tears] I was torn out of there. Pulled out ... by my friends. Everything here is ... hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... this is hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that ... knowing what I've lost... [pause] They can never know. Never.

Dawn

[of Buffy's bloodied hands] Um, I was gonna fix 'em... I don't know how they got like that.

Spike

I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. Isn't that right?

Buffy

Yeah... That's what I had to do.

Spike

I've done it myself.

She came from the grave much graver.

Spike

First he'll kill her, then I'll save her.

Tara

Everything is turning out so dark.

Buffy

Going through the motions...

Spike

No, I'll save her, then I'll kill her.

Willow

I think this line's mostly filler...

Giles

What's it gonna take to strike a spark?

Buffy

These endless days are finally ending in a blaze

And we are caught in the fire

Spike

Life's not a song;

Dawn

The hardest thing in this world... is to live in it.

Giles

Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With... glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably.

Giles

We'll get our memory back, it'll all be right as rain.

Spike

Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy-boy accent. You English men are always so... bloody hell! [counting them on his fingers.] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god... I'm English.

Giles

Welcome to the Nancy tribe.

Spike

You don't suppose you and I...we're not related, are we?

There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.

Giles

[gives her a flattered smile, then turns back to Spike] Yes, and you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity and ... disappointment. Older brother?

Spike

Father. Oh God, how I must hate you!

Giles

What did I do!?

Dawn

You want me to name you?

Buffy

Oh, that's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I'll name me... "Joan".

Dawn

Ugh.

What? Did you just "ugh" my name?

Dawn

No, I just... I mean, Joan, it's so blah.

I like it. I feel like a "Joan".

Dawn

Fine, that's your purgative.

"Prerogative".

Dawn

Whatever, Joan.

Whatever, Umad.

[unison.] Boy, you're a pain in the... / Boy, you're bossy!

Dawn

Do you think we're-

Buffy

Sisters?

Spike

[watching them hug] [to Giles] You never showed me affection like that... [Giles looks at him, bewildered] I'd wager.

I kill your kind.

And I bite yours. So why don't I want to bite you?

I must be a vampire with a soul. I'm a good guy on a mission of redemption. I help the helpless!

A vampire with a soul? Oh, my God! How lame is that?

Okay, we'll scratch your back, you scratch...

Spike

I'm not going to scratch your anything. You do what I tell you.

Buffy

Will you quit that? The only thing that's different is that I'm disgusted with myself. That's the power of your charms. Last night... was the most perverse... degrading experience of my life.

Spike

Yeah. Me too.

Buffy

That might get you off, but it's not my style.

Spike

No. It's your calling.

Spike

You should go.

Buffy

I thought we were having fun.

Spike

Yeah, now. But eventually your friends are going to figure out a way to bring you back to living color. Get dressed if you can find your clothes and push off, 'cause if I can't have all of you...[looks down]...hey, that's cheating.

Xander

[as Xander walks in on Spike and invisible Buffy] Spike? What are you doing?

Spike

What am I-... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I? [starts doing "push-ups"]

Xander

Exercising? Naked? In bed?

Spike

A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. You gotta be fit for killin'...

Xander

Ya-huh.

Buffy

You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground. You fixed it up.

Spike

Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck.

Buffy

I've been thinking about doing something in my room. I think the New Kids on the Block posters are starting to date me.

Spike

Do you even like me?

Buffy

[softly] Sometimes.

Spike

But you like what I do to you.

Spike

Do you trust me?

Buffy

Never.

Spike

I had a... muscle cramp. Buffy was, uh, helping.

Tara

A muscle cramp? In your... pants?

Spike

What? It's a thing.