Buffy Summers quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Faith

[about Scott] But you like him. When you think about him you get that good, down-low tickle, right?

Buffy

Yeah, I guess... how low?

Faith

You tell me!

Faith

All men are beasts, Buffy.

Buffy

Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical 'til I was at least forty.

Faith

It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from... Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.

Buffy

We have a marching jazz band?

Oz

Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats... Scary.

Willow

He's just being Oz.

Oz

Pretty much full-time.

Buffy

Couldn't sleep, huh?

Willow

I've been at Mister Donut since the TV did that snowy thing. How come you're the Wakey Girl? I mean, this time, it's not your boyfriend who's the cold-blooded... [sees Oz] Jelly doughnut?

Faith

Nice place. Do you ever catch kids doing the diddy out here?

Buffy

No, there's a smooch spot up by the words. That's usually where kids go.

Faith

Yeah? Bet you and Scott have been up there kicking the gearshift.

Buffy

Hardly. Only been on a few dates.

Faith

[about Scott] But you like him, and when you think about him you get that good, down-low tickle, right?

Buffy

Yeah, I guess, but... how low?

Faith

You tell me.

Buffy

How about not? But he is... nice, and he's funny.

Faith

And quite a muffin.

Buffy

Blueberry. That crunchy, munchy staff on top. But my most favorite thing so far is that he doesn't seem to be any kind of hell beast.

Faith

All men are beasts, Buffy.

Buffy

Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical 'til I was at least 40.

Faith

It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from Manimal down to Mr. "I-Love-The-English-Patient" has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.

Willow

It's all over school. What happened with Debbie and Pete. Except for the "Pete was a monster" part.

Oz

Yeah, a freshman told me that Pete had eight iced cafe mochas and just lost it.

Buffy

That's better than the estrogen theory. I heard he took all of his mother's birth-control pills.

Cordelia

He didn't? Pete was a monster? Where have I been?

Xander

In your special place, Cor, which is why I adore you.

Cordelia

So what's the true story? What happened?

Willow

Well, we got a hold of Pete's lab books and stuff, and Mr. Science was doing a Jekyll/Hyde deal. He was afraid Debbie was gonna leave him, so he mixed this potion to become super mas macho.

Buffy

The only thing was, after a while, he didn't need the potion to turn into a bad guy. He did it just fine on his own.

Cordelia

So it was like a real killing. He wasn't under the influence of anything?

Buffy

Just himself. Uh... I'll see you guys later.

Cordelia

Great, now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.

Buffy

Hey.

Willow

Hi! How are you? You good? You look good. Anything new? Hey, did I mention you look good?

Buffy

Willow, it's okay that you're helping Cordelia. We're best friends. I'm not gonna hold it against you.

Willow

No, I'm not a friend, I'm a rabid dog who should be shot! But there're forces at work here! Dark, incomprehensible forces.

Buffy

And I'm sure they're more important than all we've been through together, or... the number of times that I've saved your life.

Willow

What do you want?

Buffy

Fifteen minutes alone on your computer with Cordelia's database.

Willow

'kay.

Xander

Okay, let's not say something we'll all regret later, okay?

Cordelia

Crazy freak!

Buffy

Vapid whore!

Xander

Like that.

Cordelia

I don't even get why you care about Homecoming when you're doing stuff like this.

Buffy

Because this is all I do. This is what my life is. You couldn't understand. I just thought ... Homecoming Queen. I could pick up a yearbook someday and say, I was there. I went to high school, I had friends, and, for one moment, I got to live in the world. And there'd be proof, proof that I was chosen for something other than this. Besides, [pumps the rifle] I look cute in a tiara.

Angel

It's late. How'd you get away?

Buffy

Aw, it was easy. Started a fire in the prison laundry room. Rode out in the garbage truck.

Angel

Oh.

Buffy

I'm joking. No garbage. Smell me.

Buffy

Something's definitely changing them.

Willow

A spell?

Oz

They're teenagers. It's a sobering mirror to look into, huh?

Principal Snyder

[to Oz] You've got great hair.

Buffy

Yeah, we can go home. I've got the SAT's tomorrow.

Joyce

Oh, blow them off. I'll write you a note.

Buffy

It was just too much to deal with. It was like nothing made sense anymore. The things that I thought I understood were gone. I just felt... so alone.

Giles

Was that the math or the verbal?

Buffy

Mostly the math.

Giles

Well, if you scored low, then you can always take them again.

Buffy

More SATs? Ugh. Was there really a point? I could die before I even apply to college.

Giles

Then it very possibly might not.

Buffy

Well, let's just keep hope alive.

Giles

Hello.

Joyce

Hi.

Giles

I say, your car seems to have had an adventure, doesn't it?

Joyce

Uh, Buffy assures me that it happened battling evil, so I'm letting her pay for it on the installment plan.

Buffy

Uh, hey, the way things were going, be glad that's the worst that happened. At least I got to the two of you before you actually did something.

Joyce

Right.

Giles

Indeed.

Joyce

Yes.

Cordelia

What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?

Buffy

It was an accident.

Xander

What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?

Buffy

[About Angel] You'd just love an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?

Xander

I don't need an excuse! I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason!