AlanWhat are you doing?
Alan
Certainly you can tell me; I'm your flamingo.
No, no, no. The Secret. Haven't you heard? The law of attraction. Get with the program, man.
Alan
What are you talking about?
If you think positively, you become a magnet and pull in everything you want towards you.
Alan
Really?
I figure if I concentrate on world peace, maybe I can actually make it happen.
Alan
You're sitting here concentrating on world peace?
Oh, God, no. Gotta start smaller. I'm thinking Raquel Welch. Get her first, then go for peace.
I might vote for him, you know.
Alan
(surprised) Obama?
Anybody in America can grow up to be President, that's what I say. Except for Hillary! She wins, I puke.
Alan
Barack Obama.
Handsome, great photo op. I don't know what he stands for... He'd be a perfect president! Speaks perfect ‘white' as well as ‘black.' Never heard me say that.
Alan
What about McCain.
He speaks ‘Bush' now. Can't win.
Alan
Obama's against the war now, you know.
So'm I. (Alan looks questioningly) Don't worry. I'm ready for a new war. Time to blow up Iran. And we gotta get Amina.... douche-bag. And that nut job in North Korea. They both gotta go. And not because they're not white!
Of course it does, Alan... you can't please every body. Better to just...
Alan
Blow them up.
Exactly. And not because they're not white.
Alan
No.
Is that how you plan to try this case?
Alan
Don't start with me, Denny, all right?
Alan
Do you have any idea how many people die every day from cigarettes?
Oh, please. What else is new? Tobacco kills. Big deal.
Alan
Did you just say "big deal?"
Alan
First of all, it's not just old news. It's absolutely current. The tobacco industry is more powerful today-
Alan
What, have we all just been desensitized? Smoking kills. Whatever. We've all just gone numb.
Why'd you say that? Who told you I went numb.
Alan
...
Alan
What are you talking about?
You damn well know... Did she call you?
Alan
Denny, I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. So why don't you tell me? You have been in a bad mood all day. What is up?
Nothing's up. That's the problem. My junk doesn't work.
Alan
I beg your pardon.
I went back to the captain's quarters with one of the girls from the hot tub. My junk failed me.
Alan
Oh.
Alan
D-Denny-
I wish I were dead. I'd have made a better showing with rigor mortis. Dead. Done. It's over.
There are many ways that men go dead as they age. One way ... they start incorporating all the learned politically-correct behavior and thoughts into who they are, in the process deny what they are.
Alan
What are we?
Today's evolved men talk to each other about politics, kids and education. They talk about anything and everything, yet they are profoundly lonely. Why? Because they are ashamed to share their most base instinct.
You and I aren't like that. When we're 90, we'll be sitting on a park bench, pretty girl go by, and we'll say "look at the rack on that one". You and I will never be lonely.
You know what your problem is?
Alan
Yeah, a collapsing economy, two wars....
No, Democrats don't know how to win, Republicans do.
Alan
Maybe instead of so smugly celebrating that Republicans know how to win, might you be at the least bit disgusted at the tactics that they resort to?
Alan
The despicable pandering like supporting gas tax holidays or cozying up to the Evangelicals or the most egregious example of political pandering in memory: John McCain's choice in running mate.
Well... she's run... something.
Alan
What? A town called Wasilla? Which she left in debt?
She had executive experience including foreign policy.
Alan
Foreign policy? Because she can see Russia on a clear day? Can she even spell "Russia?"
Alan
Denny, she couldn't name newspaper she read or Supreme Court decision
Alan
Gossip journalism? Naming a Supreme court case?
This isn't about Palin, it's about McCain.
Alan
What if, what if he dies?
Alan
McCain! Of the last 19 Administrations, almost half, half had situations where the Vice President had to assume Presidential responsibilities; in fact- complete control.
Reagan had Alzheimer's, his a approval ratings were up-.
Alan
Denny, John McCain is 72! He would be the oldest person ever to assume office. He's ripe for a heart attack, not to mention, he's had Melanoma four times. There's a very real possibility he could die. And then what? We'd be left with Sarah Palin? Is there really anyone anywhere that's okay with that?!
Yes! They're called Americans! The Joe six-pack -
Alan
Joe six-pack needs someone to fix the economy not have a beer with!
I don't hear anything other from Obama.
Alan
You don't hear anything at all from John McCain. His own camp says "don't talk about it." Instead, we'll just go negative.
Oh, Obama's gone negative too.
Alan
Bulldog Palin said that Obama pounced around with terrorists.
Boston Legal · 455 quotes
