Angela Montenegro quotes from Bones

Hodgins

I never liked Kyle Aldridge.

Zack

He told me once that having a high IQ was no excuse not to bathe.

Angela

I don't believe it.

Zack

No, those were his exact words, no excuse not to bathe.

Angela

Oh my god, I'm getting flashbacks to braces and stirrup pants and a really, really bad side ponytail.

Hodgins

Certainly grew out of it. I wore Doc Martens that weighed more than I did.

Brennan

Apparently Booth was fine. He was a football player.

Angela

Right. He was one of those guys.

I remember getting grounded every weekend. So many rules to break, so little time.

Hodgins

[amused] You were the nerd fantasy.

Angela

I was all about Barbie.

Hodgins

She was my first anatomy lesson. Confused for years.

What about Ken? I felt so sorry for him.

Hodgins

[to Angela] Our victim... was kicked by a reindeer.

Angela

Oh. Get the hell outta here!

Zack

[points to a screen] The sacrum.

Angela

Wait. The evidence actually adds up to an old, fat man with a white beard, in a custom-made Santa suit who smoked a clay pipe and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer?

Hodgins

Why does everything have to be so damn hard?

Angela

How else would you know if anything was worth anything?

Brennan

I knew I shouldn't have gone to that funeral. It was a complete waste of time, just like I said.

Booth

Wait a second. You thought that my funeral was a waste of time?

I thought it was a lovely service, Booth.

Booth

Thank you! You know, I expected to see more people though...

Hodgins

I always imagined a lot of ex-girlfriends crying.

Booth

Yeah. Me, too.

Angela

You guys are pathetic.

Brennan

[to Booth] Just know I won't be attending your next funeral.

Brennan

(Booth is walking around the lab table, staring) Booth?

Booth

Hey Bones, I'm thinking here.

Brennan

Thinking about what, exactly?

Well, it's a pickle. The platform's a crime scene, but we need to access it to investigate the crime.

Angela

A "cake and eat it too" situation.

Zack

Is it a cake or a pickle?

Hodgins

It's Schrödinger's Cat.

Zack

That I understand. Cakes and pickles meant nothing to me.

That's enough, we're going. Now.

Brennan

I have remains to identify. He could have a family.

Angela

He's 500 years old. They've probably adjusted by now.

Angela

These are children's shoes, but they're size 11.

So you think our victim was a giant toddler?

Brennan

That would show up in the bones.

Sarcasm does not play well on the forensic platform.

Sweets

Well, uh, first I think it's important to find out what went wrong, why you were involved in an unsuccessful relationship.

Angela

Who said it was unsuccessful?

Sweets

You're not together anymore, are you?

Angela

Do you love your parents?

Sweets

Yes.

Angela

But you don't live together anymore, does that mean your relationship with mom and dad was unsuccessful?

Sweets

I don't think it's the same.

Angela

I do. Sometimes you have to move on, whatever your feelings.

Brennan

I didn't have sex with him, Cam.

Angela

Didn't have sex with who?

Jared Booth.

Angela

Good.

Brennan

Why good?

Because... because...

Angela

Because he's Booth's little brother, and it would just be a creepy way to have sex with a Booth without having sex with the real Booth.

Kudos, Angela. I would not have had the guts to say that out loud.

Brennan

I have been to 74 interrogations with Booth, 42 in the room and 32 observing.

Angela

Uh huh.

Brennan

I should be able to do it.

Angela

What? Interrogate?

Brennan

Yes. I even engaged in a very interesting session with Sweets to improve my ability to manipulate people.

Angela

[chuckles] Ohhh. That wouldn't work.

Brennan

Why not?

Angela

Because what Booth has, you can't learn from Baby Boy Shrink. Booth's brilliant at pretending to be stupider than he actually is most of the time.

Brennan

Brilliant at stupidity?

Angela

Uh-hmm. Especially around you.

Brennan

Why would Booth do that?

Angela

Well, he knows that you like to be the smart one and so he lets you have that.

Brennan

You know, I am smarter than Booth.

Angela

[smiles] Ok. So maybe you should just let him have the people skills part of the job to himself then.

Angela

Hey sweetie. I think you'll find that the murder weapon was a pair of tailor shears.

Brennan

Why?

Angela

Why don't you run this information by Booth and see how quickly he comes to the same conclusion?

Angela

What's wrong with the moment?

Hodgins

Nothing.

Angela

But?

Hodgins

But it's nice, every once in a while, to think about the future.

Angela

So let me this straight: to be together, then it has to be all about the future?

Hodgins

Yeah.

Angela

So this, right now, this isn't together?

Hodgins

It was a moment. A great moment, but like all great moments, past.

Angela

Have you ever noticed that a sunset looks more beautiful when you share it with someone that you care about?

Brennan

No, I haven't, but I'll pay better attention next time.

Angela

Ooh, what is that smell? Are you wearing cologne?

Hodgins

It's urine. I found traces of uric acid on the victim's clothing.

Angela

Oh.

Hodgins

It was the pheromones you found pleasing.

Angela

Yeah, yeah. The pheromones in tiger urine?

Hodgins

Well, I assume it was tiger urine. The cat was probably marking its territory.

Angela

I was turned on by tiger urine?

Hodgins

[Laughs] Celibacy isn't easy, Ang.

Angela

Tell me about it.