“The Santa in the Slush” · Season 3, Episode 9
In this episode: Seeley Booth (6), Temperance Brennan (5), Jack Hodgins (1), Angela Montenegro (1), Cam (1), Lance Sweets (1), Zack Addy (1), Caroline Julian (1)
[to Angela] Our victim... was kicked by a reindeer.
Oh. Get the hell outta here!
[points to a screen] The sacrum.
Wait. The evidence actually adds up to an old, fat man with a white beard, in a custom-made Santa suit who smoked a clay pipe and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer?
Where did he work?
Uh, employment agency called Temp Time. On 7th, by the Convention Center.
Ha! Couldn't have been Santa!
Why?
Because Santa wouldn't have worked at a temp agency!
Well, why not? His work is seasonal.
No. It's not a lie lie, Bones. It's more like everybody agreeing that, up to a certain age, kids deserve to live a different kind of truth.
Okay. By that reasoning, what we should do is figure out a lie Russ could tell the girls so they wouldn't know he's in jail.
That is a brilliant Christmas idea.
It was intended to be a scathing and incisive comment.
I want you to kiss him under some mistletoe.
Kiss Booth?
That's right, cherie.
Why?
Because it will amuse me.
Why?
Because the two of you are all "Dr. Brennan" and "Special Agent Seeley Booth," and it's Christmas, and I have a puckish side that will not be denied.
Puckish?
What's the matter? You don't think I can be puckish?
I never thought about it until now.
You want me to write that letter, you kiss Booth, on the lips, for [counting] one steamboat, two steamboats...five steamboats.
That's blackmail!
That's correct.
That's unethical.
That's the deal, cherie. Take it or leave it.
Booth, who is a very honest person, says that at this time of year deception is necessary for the happiness of little children.
I'm being misquoted.
Booth is absolutely right.
She got the gist.
There is a fictional element to Christmas.
You mean the whole "birth of a Savior" rigmarole?
It is not rigmarole!
No, Dr. Brennan, it's the feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit. It's a kind of dream or hope we carry with us from childhood. But as adults--
Are you including you in that?
As adults we're imbued by the pragmatic routines of daily life, which make it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But, you know, it's all right for us to try. We put on silly hats, drape trees in sparkly lights and wrap gifts in garish paper, and that's good for us. It's not only all right to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility.
Okay.
Okay?
I found that very helpful.
That's what I've been saying the last four days!
Aw. Three days before Christmas, and somebody killed Santa.
So Santa was definitely murdered. Someone did not like their present.
[Booth and Brennan are checking out the victim's address]
Oh my god...
What?
He lives in a toy store! [laughs]
[as she and Booth enters the victim's home] Watch out for reindeer.
[sarcastically] Yeah, really funny.
[Holding up a picture of the victim in a Santa suit] Look, you ever seen this man before?
Santa Claus?
No, this isn't actually Santa Claus. The guy that's wearing the Santa outfit in this picture, have you ever seen him?
Can I see your ID again, please?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
