Jack Hodgins quotes from Bones

Angela

I knew it was a gator. Brennan told me it was a gator. And yet ... wow.

Hodgins

Definitely confirms one thing. We have the coolest jobs ever.

Hodgins

It's my letter of resignation.

Brennan

Your science was dead-on perfect. That's all I care about. I don't need your resignation. [to Cam] He didn't actually tamper with evidence!

Dr. Hodgins endangered a case by hiding his relationship with a suspect.

Hodgins

I'm saving Dr. Saroyan the trouble of firing me.

Brennan

Well, how much trouble is it? "You're fired." That's no trouble at all! I mean, a child could do it.

Only five days? This is an extreme rate of decomp.

Hodgins

Blue crab season. They'll feed on anything, dead or alive. Vegetation, fish, flesh.

Ugh. Opportunistic little bastards.

Hodgins

So, for kicks you read --

Feminist trash. You know -- woman finds her power, leaves her oppressive husband, discovers freedom and fulfillment with an artist who knows how to cry and make love like an animal.

Hodgins

So, sex books.

Pretty much, yeah.

Hodgins

Be careful with fire ants, they're extremely dangerous.

I think the victim would agree with you.

Angela

Can't we just wait till nature takes its course?

Hodgins

Do you have any idea how tight a rat's rectum is?

Angela

Please tell me you don't.

Ahem. Do I have to throw cold water on you two?

Angela

We were, uh, just...

I know, just try to keep it off the internet. So, I have bad news. We've all been exposed to Coccidioidomycosis, a fungal infection from the graveyard dirt we've been breathing. Symptoms include nausea, weakness, fever...

Hodgins

I feel fine.

Angela

Yeah, me too.

...decreased labido...

Hodgins

I'm listening.

We're all gonna get shots.

Angela

Yeah, that sounds good.

Hodgins

Very good, yeah.

Thought so.

[after testing Father Matt for poison] The good news is, we know how to make you feel a lot better.

Hodgins

Bad news is, someone is trying to kill you.

Hodgins

Waffle-soled shoes and a track suit.

You know who wears track suits?

Zack

Athletes?

No, huge tubs of lard or retired people.

Okay, time to step out of your comfort zones, people.

Hodgins

What comfort zone?

Booth

The telescope is pointed up at the planet Pluto.

Hodgins

Pluto's no longer a planet. It was demoted.

Angela

Hey, do you aliens use any weapons resembling a...

Zack

A broadsword?

Hodgins

How about a lightsaber?

Zack

No. Those can cut through any known substance. The victim would've been completely dismembered.

Little green men?

Hodgins

Grey, they're grey... Not green, grey. Being half alien you should know that.

Hodgins

(preparing to propose) I am madly in love with you, Angela. You- you are the most amazing woman that I have ever met. My life is so much better since we-

Angela

Oh my god.

Hodgins

What?

Angela

Are you breaking up with me?

Hodgins

Whoa, wait a minute.

What is it?

Hodgins

A-ha, unidentified particulates. The two sweetest words I know.

I don't even want to think about your pillow talk with Angela.