Jack Hodgins quotes from Bones

Hodgins

Look, I'm Abby. [to Zack] You're Carly.

Zack

Why am I always the murder victim?

Hodgins

Sit.

Brennan

[chuckling] Zack's always the murder victim.

Booth

[walks onto the platform] Ok, squint squad, why does she look like a glow stick?

Hodgins

[rhetorically] Why does everyone think my job is so easy?

[looks at the body] Wow, you weren't kidding. Twirl her around, we can pretend we're at a rave. What's the good word, Hodgins?

Hodgins

[protests] Hey! I am not a party trick!

[after Hodgins asks for his permission to marry Angela] You're making a huge mistake, son.

Hodgins

Marrying Angela?

No. If Angie finds out that a man – you – asked another man – me – for her hand or any of her other fine parts, horrible complications will ensue.

Hodgins

I didn't think of that.

You could get us both killed.

Hodgins

Ok...good advice. [he and Billy shake hands] You got anymore?

Always play it in the key of G demolished.

Hodgins

[about Angela] She's going deep into her sub-conscious to remember her husband's name, so we can find him, divorce him, get married ourselves and live happily for all eternity.

Brennan

You won't live for eternity.

Hodgins

[finding a rare insect] Hello, my exotic princess!

What a charmingly inappropriate greeting, Dr. Hodgins.

Zack

I think he was talking to the bug.

Well, now I feel a bit... rejected.

Zack

I will be the back end of a cow.

Hodgins

So, no costume.

Zack

Naomi from Paleontology has agreed to be my front.

Hodgins

So many jokes, so little time.

Angela

And get him to sign the divorce papers.

By "get him," do you mean force him to sign them?

Hodgins

If necessary. Do you have a gun?

Angela

Or just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.

Hodgins

What are you, Canadian?

Brennan

Megan Shaw is still alive.

Hodgins

What do you want me to do?

Zack

He wants us to guess.

Hodgins

Well, my guess is Hawaii.

Not Hawaii.

Booth

W-Well, guess again, but better.

Hodgins

Nop, sorry.

Angela

Booth, THEY don't guess.

Booth

Who's they?

[pointing at Brennan, Zack and Hodgins] THEM!

Booth

Well, that's just stupid

Zack

We do not guess.

Booth

You know what? You're a horse's ass!

Zack

[referring to his Halloween's costume] Cow! I'm a cow! See my udder?

Here's what Mr. Barasa said, 100% verbatim, word for word.

Hodgins

"Verbatim" means word for word.

What?

Hodgins

You sort of said it twice.

Brennan

[to Zack and Hodgins] Who's stronger? Catwoman or Wonder Woman?

[together spontaneously] Wonder Woman.

Brennan

I concur, vehemently!

Booth

I know your password too. It's daffodil.

Brennan

I never told you that!

Booth

What, I got eyes! I mean, you guys aren't exactly CIA material.

Hodgins

Daffodil?

Brennan

What, they're pretty. And I'm changing my password.

Booth

Daisy.

Brennan

How did you know?

Booth

It's your second-favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet! [Bones enters another password] Jupiter! [Brennan looks shocked]

Hodgins

I never liked Kyle Aldridge.

Zack

He told me once that having a high IQ was no excuse not to bathe.

Angela

I don't believe it.

Zack

No, those were his exact words, no excuse not to bathe.

Hodgins

[curiously] Why are you here in my area?

Booth

Cam's sister kissed me.

Hodgins

[amused] Dude....

Booth

Don't call me dude! All right, listen, I was supposed to be Cam's boyfriend but only between the hours of 6:30 and 10. She kissed me at 6:20 so technically that doesn't even count. Cam went to her office to get something. Felicia, she just grabbed me and planted one on me. I didn't even see it coming. I didn't even have a defense maneuver planned.

Hodgins

[shakes head] Wow.... all right, all right, uh.... How are you...[looks around discreetly] how are you gonna break it to Cam?

Booth

What? Why would I do that?

Hodgins

You want her to find out from her sister?

Booth

[in dread] Wow, this is worse than when we were a couple.

Hodgins

[chuckles, Booth glares at him] Sorry... [struggles to contain his laughter]

Booth

[unamused by Hodgins laughing at him] I really should take my gun out and shoot you now.

Hodgins

[puts on a serious face] I'm sorry... that's serious. [breaks into laughter again]

Booth

You're not helping.

Zack

I had a Michael Jackson glove. I've never mentioned that before.

Hodgins

I loved Chevy Chase. We all have our crosses to bear.

Angela

Oh my god, I'm getting flashbacks to braces and stirrup pants and a really, really bad side ponytail.

Hodgins

Certainly grew out of it. I wore Doc Martens that weighed more than I did.

Brennan

Apparently Booth was fine. He was a football player.

Angela

Right. He was one of those guys.