Jack Hodgins quotes from Bones

Angela

How could anybody do this to themselves?

Hodgins

You know, 900 B.C., the Greek ruler Theseus had two men sit in chairs and beat each other to death for entertainment.

Hodgins

Just saying, it's nothing new.

Hodgins

I can't sleep, Angela.

Angela

I thought that they gave you something for that.

Hodgins

No, I mean I'm afraid...that if I close my eyes, when I-- when I open them I gonna be back in that car, buried, running out of air.

Angela

Okay. Then you should come home with me.

Hodgins

What?

Angela

When you open your eyes, I'll be there.

Hodgins

Yeah?

Angela

(nodding) Yeah.

Hodgins

(nodding) Okay.

Brennan

We should get as far away from the explosion as possible.

Hodgins

Already am. (holds out hand) Care to join me?

Hodgins

This thing you found in my leg is anodized plastic film coated in metallic tape with dried out adhesive. It's a bumper sticker.

Brennan

You mean like "If You Can Read This, You're Too Close"?

Hodgins

(not knowing Angela is in the room) If you haven't figured out the stun-gun, then I am this week's "King of the Lab" because I found something huge.

Angela

You compete to be "King of the Lab"?

Hodgins

(surprised) No. (laughs nervously) Hey, Angela. I didn't know that you were ... this sucks. I'm gonna go catch Brennan, then bolt for the night

Hodgins

Can this possibly work?

Brennan

I'm not really an explosives expert, but the dash might shape the charge enough to blow out the windshield. If we're less than four feet beneath the surface, this charge could blow us to freedom.

Hodgins

And if we're buried more than four feet deep?

Brennan

Then the concussion will turn our brains into jelly.

Hodgins

Well, then we can run for Congress, so it's a win-win.

Brennan

Booth will find us.

Hodgins

You have a lot of faith in Booth.

Brennan

No, faith is an irrational belief in something that is logically impossible. Over time I have seen what Booth can do. It's not faith.

Hodgins

No offense, and I'm not just saying this because you filleted me with a knife, we are out of air. We don't know if our message got out, much less if anyone understood it, and we are buried underground. What you have is faith, baby. (Brennan laughs) Sorry, the "baby" thing is a reflex...

Brennan

Four to six seconds to enter a message and hit speed dial.

Hodgins

I figured out a text message using eight key strikes.

Brennan

How's your text messaging?

Hodgins

Thumbs like lightning. I can do it.

Hodgins

Someone ran me down with a car.

Brennan

We knew that already.

Hodgins

Yeah, but now that we've proved it, I find I'm really annoyed.

Hodgins

Aluminum.

Brennan

Aluminum.?

Hodgins

Well, the Brits say "aluminium", but that sounds so, well... British.

Brennan

What are we surrounded by?

Hodgins

Pain. Despair. And a subsoil accumulation of agglutinated aridisols.

Brennan

Dirt.

Hodgins

You know I don't like the term dirt.

Brennan

Tell me something I don't know.

Brennan

What I'm going to do is make a long incision in the fascia to release the pressure inside.

Hodgins

And how--how long is a "long incision?"

Booth

Okay, who else knows about this?

Hodgins

Us and you. That's it.

Booth

Let's keep it that way.

Hodgins

I've seen this movie. I get killed on the way home.

Booth

Then don't go home.

Hodgins

[laughs, then stops abruptly] You serious?

Zack

Dr. Saroyan, when I get my doctorate, I'd like to work here.

[looks at Zack intently] Zack, you're an excellent scientist but an important part of the job is appearing as an expert witness in court.

Angela

Oooph.

Zack

Oooph what?

Jurors have to take you seriously and frankly, you look like a weekend fill-in at a college radio station.

Hodgins

[smiles at Zack sympathetically] Truth hurts, dude. Learn from it and grow.

Angela

Did you really call me "the heart of the operation"?

Hodgins

Yeah. That's before you called me short.

Angela

Hey, Zack called you short. I think you're just the right height.

Hodgins

Yeah?

Angela

Short men have better leverage.

Zack

I'm feeling uncomfortable.