S6 E12 No Service
[on the phone]
M Manager
[over the phone] This is your boss at Burger World. We're having an extremely busy lunch, I need one of you to come down to Burger World
Uhh, I'm like, busy watching TV.
M Manager
Well, then, let me talk to the other one.
Uhh, okay. [does a bad impression of Beavis] Uh huh huh huh. Like, hi, this is Beavis, uh huh huh huh, yeah, huh huh huh. I'll be right in, sir, yeah, huh huh huh huh. You can always, like, count on me, sir, huh huh huh huh. [hangs up] Hey Beavis, that was that manager dude at Burger World. He says you have to go to work right now.
No way! That sucks! It sucks! Hey, how come you don't have to go to work?
Because I'm, like, busy watching TV.
C Customer
I want a bacon cheeseburger with extra mayo, a want a large chocolate shake, two orders of onion rings, an apple pie, and a diet cola.
You said 'pie.' That's funny, right?
S6 E13 Yard Sale
[The pair arrive at Mr. Anderson's yard sale]
I can get you a real good deal on that bushwhacker.
[Beavis and Butt-head start laughing]
S6 E14 P.T.A.
[The pair receive a letter that's supposed to be for their parents]
Maybe we can suggest that school sucks. SUCKS! SUCKS!
Or maybe we can suggest that we can get a teacher that's cool.
S6 E15 Substitute
Okay, class. I'm very disappointed with your test scores.
S6 E16 Shopping List
[Mr. Anderson has just given the pair a shopping list]
Would you like some toilet paper?
Beavis [in the style of Cornholio] : TP, for your bunghole!
[Butt-Head puts down 6 cans of non-alcoholic beer on the register stand]
C Cashier
Yeah, Can I help you?
Yeah. We're going to buy this beer and get drunk.
C Cashier
Yeah? Well, you can't buy beer unless you're 21. Lemme see some ID.
Oh. Uh.. Well... Uh... Uh.. Uh... Huh huh... We left our IDs in the truck.
[the cashier checks the contents of the beer which says "Contains no alcohol"]
C Cashier
Oh, you guys are buying that pee-water. I guess I can sell that crap to you.
That's right. You can sell it to us. (chuckles) We're old.
[After the boys fail a field soberioty test]
O Officer
I'm going to have to take you boys downtown [picks up non-alchoholic beer] and I'm going to have to take this with us.
Yeah, you can't forget the beer.
O Officer
[Reads on back of beer "Contains No Alcohol" and reads it aloud] You guys aren't drunk, you're just stupid.
[after the boys fail a field sobriety test ]
O Officer
Yep, you boys are definitely intoxicated. I'm gonna have to confiscate your beverages and bring you downtown.
Oh yeah. We don't wanna forget the beer.
O Officer
[reads on back of beer ] Hey, wait a minute: this stuff's non-acoholic. You guys aren't drunk, you're just stupid.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
