Heavy metal has come a long way.
Yeah, yeah. Really.
Krokus, "School's Out
[Three high school girls appear on screen.]
Cool. Chicks.
Yeah. I mean, even though the chicks are cool, it's like, the video still sucks.
Yeah. Really.
[The band is playing on stage.]
This is disgusting, Beavis.
Yeah. It's sickening.
[Lead singer Marc Storace appears on screen.]
Look at this guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Look at his face.
Look at his hair.
Yeah. Look at his head.
Yeah, yeah. His whole head sucks.
Yeah. His chest is no picnic, either.
He looks like Horshack.
Yeah. With Epstein's hair.
L7, "Pretend We're Dead
Is this The Bangles?
No, it's The Go-Go's.
There are like, grudge chicks.
Yeah. Grubby chicks are cool.
I'm gonna get a ring in my nose.
I had ringworm in my nose once. It was pretty cool.
Yeah. I remember.
Hey, Beavis. Let's pretend we're dead.
Yeah. That would be cool.
Lamb of God, "Ditch
[as the video starts energetic and fast]
Yeah! Yeah, here we go, yeah!
Yeah!
[the two start head-banging, but slow down as they start feeling pain]
Ow! Ugh! Ow... ah... why did we use to do that?
Uh, I don't know.
RBRandy Blythe
I don't give a goddamn!
I DON'T GIVE A GOD-DAAAAMN!
RBRandy Blythe
About your demands!
Uh, I didn't catch that. He doesn't give a goddamn about what?
Uh, about, uh, dumb ass, or something.
No, I think it was, um, I think he said, uh... eh... it doesn't matter.
These are like, the best lyrics I've ever not been able to understand.
We should like, go to one of these concerts, and like, crawl around, and eat dirt.
Yeah, you know it's probably really really loud too, you know, and I'm already hard of hearing. So, you know, might as well just finish the job.
That's right. Get 'er done.
Huh? Quarter to what?
This video like, takes me back to a simpler time.
Back when we'd just like sit on a couch, watch stuff like this...
Not a care in the world.
Yeah, yeah those were the days. But now I have to go to the unemployment office, and I gotta go get my EBT card, ugh...
Adulting. [chortles]
[as people eat something from a briefcase with their bare hands]
Uh, is that a suitcase full of scrambled eggs?
Yeah yeah!
It's like, scrambled eggs is the most metal way to cook eggs.
Yeah, yeah, someone's like, "Um, I'll have my eggs over-easy please." "NOOOO! I DON'T GIVE A GOD-DAAAAMN! ABOUT YOUR OVER-EASYYY! YOUR EGGS WILL BE SCRAMBLED! BY THE LAMB OF GOOOD!"
Industry Baby" feat. Jack Harlow
[as Lil Nas X polishes some Grammy trophies in a prison cell]
Whoa! You think he smuggled those Grammies in inside his butt?
Uhh, yeah. That's why he's cleaning them off. Everything in prison comes in through your butt. [a twerking male is seen] See that guy right there? He's about to pull a Little League trophy out of his butt.
Yeah, nowadays, everyone gets a trophy, you know?
Yeah. Good for your self-esteem, bad for your butt.
[Lil Nas X is seen wearing a pink uniform on the phone]
Is he like, working at T-Mobile now?
Uh, I think you have to work at T-Mobile when you're in prison.
Oh, that sucks. I thought you just get to like sit around and watch TV all the time. You have to work? At T-Mobile? Yeah, that's like, inhumane or something.
This video's like really groundbreaking, 'cause like, Jack Harlow's not in it. [Jack Harlow appears] Uhhh... Oh... never mind.
Oh yeah... there he is...
Someone should do something about Jack Harlow being in every video. [Jack Harlow is in an electric chair, and electrocuted by Lil Nas X] Uh, oh. I guess they did.
Montero (Call Me By Your Name)
[as the video begins in an ethereal landscape with a snake]
LNLil Nas X
... but here, we don't. Welcome to Montero.
Uh, I think this is supposed to be like, that garden in the Bible, where that chick, Eve or Eden, or whatever her name is eats that fruit that she wasn't supposed to, and then it like puts a curse on the earth.
See, that's one of those stories that has a moral, you know? And the moral is fruit sucks.
Yeah. So do gardens. Then remember that other part of the story where like, God takes the rib out of that dude, and makes a chick?
You know, if I could do that, I would have no rib cage.
Butt-head Yeah. Neither would I. I'd just be a big blob of flesh with a bunch of chicks around me, and no bones. Except I'd still have one bone.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.