“Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

... but here, we don't. Welcome to Montero.

Butt-head

Uh, I think this is supposed to be like, that garden in the Bible, where that chick, Eve or Eden, or whatever her name is eats that fruit that she wasn't supposed to, and then it like puts a curse on the earth.

Beavis

See, that's one of those stories that has a moral, you know? And the moral is fruit sucks.

Butt-head

Yeah. So do gardens. Then remember that other part of the story where like, God takes the rib out of that dude, and makes a chick?

Beavis

You know, if I could do that, I would have no rib cage.

Beavis

You know, Lil Nas X could probably score with any chick in this video that he wanted to, you know? And he definitely wants to.

Butt-head

He's all about the ladies. Did you know the X in Lil Nas X stands for "extremely interested in chicks?"

Beavis

Wait, who's that? Is that Satan?

Butt-head

No, it's Darth Maul. Satan is like, part of the Marvel Universe.

Beavis

Oh, yeah yeah.

Butt-head

Uh, remember that time that guy wanted you to be a Satanist, and then he said he'd take you to the Satanic Church, but it was just a room over his mom's garage?

Beavis

Oh, yeah yeah. Yeah, I thought there'd be like naked chicks and like, blood and stuff, but he just wanted to sit around and talk about low taxes, and... and Liberatarianism or something, I don't know. It's like, that's not evil, it's just stupid!

Butt-head

And it's also boring, Beavis. And I don't wanna hear about it either. So shut up.

Beavis

Oh, and um, remind me to tell you later what he said about who controls the media. You'd be surprised, it's not who you think. Oh and you know what else? Did you know that 7-Eleven was an inside job? They don't want you to know that.

Butt-head

They suck.