[coming back into the room to see Beavis twerking and dancing] You know, Beavis, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed- Jesus Christ, Beavis!
[flustered] Come on, Butt-head, I-I-I was just...
What the hell is going on in here?!
I was just thinking about something else.
Beavis, I wish I'd walked in here and you were taking a dump on the couch. Or doing homework. Anything would be better than that.
Beavis, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
I think this is my house though.
Okay. [leaves the room] I'll just come back later.
No. Never come back. Bunghole.
[as the video starts with crystal-like formations growing from various plants]
Whoa! All those like, crystal things and those funguses look really cool.
Yeah. If nature looked like this, maybe I wouldn't hate it so much.
[chortling] White people...
You know, I was thinking like, people couldn't even get any whiter, and then you know, look at this.
They are the whitest people I have ever seen. I think this is music for like, white people that have never had anything bad happen to them.
They've never had adversity.
They decided to rebel against their parents by making even softer rock.
Yeah yeah, don't express yourself too much. Come on.
These guys were like, "That music in the elevators is too balls out for us."
DBDavid Byrne
I can barely touch my own self...
Um... th - that's not really very funny. I - it's like, um, that couldn't happen to me, could it?
[the two see a spinning naked mannequin with a bag over its head]
H - h - hey, wait! W - w - wait a - wait a minute, wait a minute!
That wasn't a chick, was it?
I think it was, Butt-head. I think a saw a couple boobs!
Hey, change it, Butt-head, this is making me dizzy.
Come on, Beavis! It'll give you a good buzz.
Yeah, but it's like, I'm getting sick to my stomach, come on!
[Butt-head changes the channel]
[the video opens with Camila getting greeted at the door by her family, kissing the side of her face without contacting her face]
Yeah, by a mile. They suck at kissing.
They're never gonna score.
Well, you know, I'd score with them. I would not miss.
Is this like, Thanksgiving or something?
Uh, I think it's like the third November of the year or something.
Remember that time your mom tried to have Thanksgiving, 'cause like, she had that boyfriend for like a week?
Oh yeah yeah, that's right.
Lots of dudes are thankful for your mom, Beavis.
Oh yeah yeah... yeah. Yeah...
Uh, I mean a lot of dudes, Beavis.
I mean, like, hundreds of dudes.
They all go around the table, and ask what they're thankful for, and they all say "Beavis's mom."
Come on, Butt-head, that's enough. Come on. You know, I do like this video, though.
Uhhh... it is pretty cool. But don't change the subject, Beavis. On the first Thanksgiving, the Indians taught the Pilgrims how to eat maize, and the Pilgrims taught the Indians how to do your mom.
Yeah. They're like, "See? It's easy!" Come on, Butt-head.
On the first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims and Squanto pulled a train on your mom.
And there was peace throughout the land, 'cause everyone got a piece of your mom.
Okay, come on, Butt-head, enough.
Anyway, in all seriousness, Beavis, I know I make fun of your mom a lot, but that's because she's a slut.
Shut up, Butt-head! She is not! She just has sex with lots and lots of guys, that's all.
Besides Butt-head, I heard somewhere that um, slut is like, like a good word now. You know, like, "Yeah yeah, I'm a slut! Yeah!"
Uhhhh, oh. Well then, like I was saying, your mom is the biggest slut of all time.
Yeah, thank you. I'll tell her you said that.
SISong Intro
We could burn like evergreen, we could fire up every tree...
Uh, is this like, choir music?
Yeah, it probably sucks, but it's called "Burning Fffire", so like, you know, maybe give it a chance, because you know... fire! Yeah. I mean, you know, maybe they'll burn this guy with a beard or something, I don't know.
[as a woman shows her husband a pregnancy test]
He's like, "Oh, you've got COVID!"
Yeah, yeah, "Let's go celebrate!"
I can't figure out if this is like, like some kind of truck commercial, or like, insurance, or like for some prescription drugs or something, you know?
Yeah. I think it's like for boner pills.
Side effects may include a burning fffire!
Camino is not suitable for anybody. Do not take Camino if, uh... well just don't take it. It sucks.
[an older couple is shown on screen, upset at something]
See now, I think that's supposed to be Camino when he's old, and he's shaved off his beard.
No it's not, Beavis. That's his dad, and the other chick is his mom. They're ashamed of their son.
Yeah, it's like, "He's out there in a field singing a song that sucks. We need to stop him, now!"
"We did our best, honey, and he's still singing."
"Why don't you quit crying then, and go out there and do something about it?"
Yeah. "Grandma, get me my lighter and a can of gas. I'll show him a burning fire."
Yeah, give Camino something to cry about.
FSFrank Ski
Whores in this house, there's some whores in this house, there's some whores in this house...
This looks like one of those videos where they're like trying to sell a house.
Yeah, like that time we went to that open house to get free cookies, and they made us watch a video.
Yeah. She was like, "Can I answer any questions about the property?"
"Yeah, yeah, I was wondering, are there any whores in this house?"
"Yes there are, there are several whores in this house."
"The house does include a big old butt on the wall, and lots of boobs, and a tiger."
"Oh, and the tigers are also whores. And they are included."
"The schools are fantastic. There's some whores in this house, and the roof is brand new."
"The house has an Olympic-sized pool that's one foot deep."
"Yeah, it's great for little kids, or whores, you know, or both! You know."
"Uh, ma'am, I have a question about the plumbing. I've heard it can get wet and gushy in here."
"Uh, yes sir, it can, and that's just because of the whores, you know? There are some whores in this house, you know?"
Cardi B Macaroni in a pot, that's so wet and gushy...
You know, um, you know that's really disgusting, Butt-head. I mean it's okay for grown-ups, but they should make a clean version of this song. You know, like, "Damp Vagina", well I mean not that, but you know like- but maybe that! I mean, you know, "Damp Vagina." Kinda has a ring to it, you know? Kinda romantic.
Well I wish we had some whores in this house.
I guess. I don't even know where we'd put them, you know? Does this couch fold out?
Uhhhh... I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway. There's no whores in this house.
[video opens with an old man holding his breath, turning his face blue]
Hey hey, is he gonna vomit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, VOMIT, VOMIT! VOMIT! VOMIT, DAMMIT!
