TV show quotes
Mr. Blue Veins...
Mr. Blue Vein?
Yeah. Hey, Butt-head. I have a blue vein.
Okay, Beavis.
Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Butt-head. Hey, Butt-head. Check it out.
UGHH!
Come on, hey Butt-head! Butt-head! Check it out.
Put Mr. Blue Vein away, Beavis!
It'll be a Wednesday, and I'll be going to this coffee shop, hear the barista call an oat milk latte and your name, and I look up from my phone and think there's no chance it's you, but it is...
Uhhh...
Uh...
...say, "How's your family? How's your sister?" I'll say, "Shannon's being Shannon." After a minute of nonsensical chatter, you'll say...
Does she know that the video's started yet?
She can't decide if she's like talking or singing or rapping or just not really trying very hard.
We've been swimming on the edge of a cliff...
Wait wait a second... "swimming on the edge of a cliff"? I- I don't understand that. I don't get that at all.
Maybe it's like, uhhh, there's like a waterfall or something.
No, no, that would be a waterfall, it's not a cliff. No, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Swimming on the edge of a cliff? I don't get it.
Uhh, okay Beavis. It's dumb. Do you get that?
... We've been swimming...
Well maybe there's like a baby pool- but you can't swim in a baby pool. Yeah I don't understand it.
Dammit Beavis, who cares? It's just stupid.
If there was a pool on the edge of a cliff- just think about for like a couple minutes. If there was a pool at the edge of a cliff-
[getting annoyed] Uhh, anyway Beavis-
Where's the edge of the pool? Is that the cliff?
Dammit Beavis, shut up!
Wait a minute, maybe, maybe the whole cliff is made of water, or it's ice, because, you know, because then that's part of- no no, that isn't it.
You'll suggest a restaurant we used to go to...
She'd be a cool girlfriend, 'cause you could like come home and just say "Well, how was your day?" and then she'd be like "Bleh bleh bleh it was a Wednesday and duh-duh-duh...
I'm sorry to keep harping on this, but I'm thinking about the cliff again, and maybe, maybe it's just like an above-ground pool. [Butt-head looks incredibly agitated] One of those infinite pools or something, but-
Dammit Beavis, if you say one more thing about the cliff, I'm gonna smack the living crap out of you.
Hang on, hang on, let me just circle back to the cliff for a second, okay hear me out. My grandmother's favorite actor is Montgomery Clift. Now if he had a pool at his house- [Butt-head smacks Beavis] AHHH!
Um...is this Richard Marx?
Uh, no. This is that Keith dude! From the Family.
You mean Bonaduce?
No, dumbass. This is his big brother. Keith.
Whoa! Keith Bonaduce! Bonaduce. Bonaduce.
Yeah.
Um...um, is this, is this, um, Cheech & Chong?
Yeah. Cheech & Schlong.
Yeah. Buttcheeks & Schlong.
Remember that album your uncle had with these dudes on it?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That was cool. Remember that one where that guy was gonna go downtown and, like, show his schlong to somebody?
Yeah. [sings in a deep voice] "I'm gonna go downtown, gonna see my gal, gonna show her my schlong."
Yeah, yeah, that was cool.
Yeah. And the guy keeps going, [deep voice] "Uh, you know. Uh, you know."
Yeah. [deep voice] "Uh, you know." Yeah. "Uh, you know." Uh, yeah.
Yeah. "Gonna see my gal, uh, you know."
Yeah, yeah. That was a good song, I wonder how they think stuff like that up?
Yeah. They need to do songs like that again.
Yeah.
Whatever happened to that album?
Um...I broke it, remember? I slammed it against the wall. It like, shattered.
Oh yeah. That was cool!
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool, yeah.
These guys are in a trash truck!
Yeah. Somebody probably threw 'em away.
You know, this would rock if it was, like, just louder.
Yeah, yeah. LOUD, LOUD! Why don't you just, like, turn it up?
If I'm gonna bother messing with the remote, I'll just change the channel.
Um, okay. Do that, then.
Uh, okay. [changes channel]
AAH! AAAH!
UGH!
THIS SUCKS!
THIS SUCKS!
Yeah.
Hey, Beavis. You think if I sang like a wuss, I could get some chicks?
Well, you look like a wuss...
Shut up, Beavis!
...and you talk like a wuss...
I'll kick your ass like a wuss if you don't shut up!
This is irritating! [changes channel]
Um...is this Led Zeppelin?
Uhh...I think this is, like, one of those things where, like, they say it's Led Zeppelin, but it only has, like, one of the original dudes in it.
Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like, they always do that. But you can tell who the original dude is because he's fat, and he's got, like, white hair.
Whoa, that dude has hips like a woman!
Yeah.
That sucks when guys, like, just put out the same stuff over and over again. [chuckles] I said "put out."
Yeah. But um, yeah but, but really, that - that sucks when like, when like, guys just repeat themselves. And just do the same stuff over and over.
You said "eat themselves."
Um...
Rep-eat themselves.
Oh yeah.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
