Cool!
Yeah.
This is cool.
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
[the two imitate the bass guitar riff]
Black Sabbath, "Iron Man
Hey, Butt-head. Are these guys from Seattle?
No, assmunch. They're American.
Oh yeah.
Cool!
Yeah. Hey, Butt-head, Ozzy bit off the head of a cow once.
Yeah. That was cool! Milk poured out of his neck.
Blind Melon, "Galaxie
How come it seems like every video now has a little kid in it?
Uhh, you got some kind of problem with kids, Beavis?
Um, yeah, I do! They're always, like, laughing at me when I'm not looking. Yeah.
Uhh, grown-ups do that too, Beavis. 'Cause you're a dumbass dork.
Shut up, Butt-head.
[sperm is shown in the background]
How come there's always sperm in videos now?
Yeah, I don't know, um...
I think, like, the band makes the video, and then like, the executives come in and say, "Uhh...well, it's pretty cool, but uh, could you put some sperm in there somewhere?"
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, really. You know, um, I could provide 'em with, um--
Beavis, stop it!
Oh no, this is Blind Melon! Did you know all these guys are blind?
No way, really?
Yeah. I saw it on MTV News.
Whoa, I'll be damned! You know the cool thing about being blind, is that, like, if a crappy video comes on, you don't have to watch it, see?
Uhh, yeah. Okay, Beavis.
Blondie, "Rapture
What's this crap?
Yeah. This chick looks like that one porno star.
No way, Beavis, that's that chick from that Hairspray movie.
Oh yeah.
[Debbie Harry is dancing with her back towards a man]
Look at this dork!
Yeah. What is this, Battle of the Dorks?
[Debbie nudges him away]
I think we have a winner.
I think we have a wiener.
This looks like one of those commercials for K-tel Records.
Yeah.
"Hey, Beavis! I hear disco is making a comeback!"
Yeah. "Just dial 1-800-WUSS!"
Bow Wow Wow, "I Want Candy
Whoa! This sucks!
Yeah. And it sucks, too.
That's what I said! Bumwipe.
Oh yeah.
She should get naked. [Beavis laughs uncontrollably] Shut up, Beavis! You're slobbering all over me!
She's pretty friendly for a chick with a Mohawk.
Yeah. Chicks with Mohawks are cool.
Does she want candy?
Yeah. She wants a Baby Ruth and some Starburst.
And some wacky wafers.
Yeah. Yeah.
Garth Brooks, "The Thunder Rolls
Hey Beavis, check this out. (Mocking Garth Brooks singing in warbled voice) "Somewheeere It never should beeeeeeeeen~!
It looks like a zombie.
Yeah... (Mocking the singer in warbled voice again) THUNDER ROOOOOOOOOOLL~! Whatever happened to country songs about whisky, drinkin', and butt-kicking?
BTS, "Dynamite
Yes! This song kicks ass! Yeah! The video kicks ass, too.
Uhhh... what? What did you just say?
[stuttering] Err, I didn't say anything.
Uhh... I thought I heard you say "this kicks ass." Did you say that, Beavis?
No no, I was talking about something else.
Don't lie to me, Beavis. I heard you loud and clear.
[stuttering] I was just joking, Butt-head. You know, just saying "this kicks ass," but it sucks, you know? I was just being like... iconic or... you know who sucks the worst, is J-Hope. Yeah. He doesn't even have the positive attitude you know, like Suga.
You know their names??? What the hell has gotten into you, Beavis?!
[defensive] I was kidding, Butt-head, I don't like these guys! I just said they suck! You know, I just um, I just know their names... because I hate 'em so much, that's all.
Beavis, I'm going to leave now. I'm gonna leave you with your... uh, seven, or eight...or 15, BTS, boy band, dudes. [leaves the room]
Come on, Butt-head, I- I just wasn't paying attention or something, come on... [starts to dance to the song]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.